


Be My Shield

by DawnSkull



Category: Winner (Band), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comfort, Crushes, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Getting to Know Each Other, KJH - Freeform, Love Triangles, M/M, Mentions of kidnapping, Original iKON members, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secrets, Strangers to Lovers, bodyguard Goo Junhoe, junbob, junhwan, manager Song Yunhyeong, mentions of yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-04-07 05:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 47,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnSkull/pseuds/DawnSkull
Summary: "...and I'll be your rose."No longer trusted by the company, iKON is forced to receive a bodyguard who has to share the same living space.After a lengthy ice-breaking process, bodyguard Junhoe learns of the eldest member's regretful past.What will happen when Jinhwan finds an entirely different sense of security in the bodyguard's arms?!Latest chapter! : Keep Trying- He will fight for it, and Jinhwan wants Junhoe to do the same, only Junhoe was scared. He loved Jinhwan too much.





	1. The News

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic I guess? I hope this'll be fine xD
> 
> I'm still writing the thing and I can't promise frequent updating due to school ;-;  
> Do comment down below and tell me what you all think about the story though.  
> I believe that feedback is necessary for good content, so help me out okay ;D

“We’re getting a personal bodyguard and he’ll be stuck to you three wherever you go.”

“Wait what?” Three voices questioned in unison, eyes blown wide towards their manager who had his arms crossed over his chest. He sighed quietly but nodded nonetheless, just to make it clear that what he informed wasn’t a joke.

“You can’t be serious. Is that really necessary?” Asked a half-annoyed, half-relieved Hanbin. After the incident that brought them defenseless, of course he figured that the company would decide something like this. It made sense, but the idea of always having a bodyguard on their tail, practically living with them, was something Hanbin wished wouldn’t happen.

The trio were two hours into their morning practice when Manager Yunhyeong suddenly entered the practice room to drop the news. Hanbin turned to look at his band members, wanting to know how they were taking it.

Bobby had taken his cap off and he ran his fingers through his hair, the strands already dampened with sweat. “Okay,” was all that he said. By the look on his face, Hanbin could tell that the older wasn’t too happy about the idea as well, but he accepted it.

When Hanbin turned to look at their eldest, he frowned.

Jinhwan sat slouched on the bench, chest rising and falling with every pant, a clear proof of his determined practicing. He was silent and had his eyes glued to the floor, his face void of emotion. He was lost in thought, Hanbin could tell.

Hanbin was worried. During their unfortunate event, the unforgettable tragedy, Jinhwan was the one affected the most. He was the captor’s target. He was the reason why all three of them stumbled into the hands of the obsessed. Even though the mistake was made by all three of them, Jinhwan took the blame on himself. No matter how many times Hanbin and Bobby told him it’s not his fault, he still held the guilt above his head.

As the leader, Hanbin secretly blamed himself for everything instead. He could’ve prevented things, he could’ve said no. But he didn’t. While he was forever grateful that they escaped and that the company kept the incident hidden from reporters, he wasn’t exactly settled with the company’s choice this time.

Yunhyeong pursed his lips as he watched the others. He already knew that they wouldn’t take the news well, but there was no choice. It was the company’s orders. Mr Yang’s orders. There was no way to refuse it.

“Yes. There’s no debating. He will move in tonight, so it’s best if you three free up that extra room for him,” he said, eyes scanning the rebelling expressions. Bobby groaned at their new task and was about to say something when Yunhyeong quickly cut in.

“Start at 3. You can get back to practicing now.” The longer Yunhyeong stood there, the more talking he’d have to do, so he decided to leave just as quick as he came.

Once their manager was out of the room, Bobby lolled his head back over the backrest of his chair and let out another, louder groan. “I am not going to clean that room up. Fuck that dude, let him sleep on the couch,” he grumbled.

Feelings weren’t at all settled yet and now they had to somehow accept someone into their daily lives. Suddenly, Bobby felt a little pity for the guy. He had to move into a place where was clouded in lasting tension and regret. Bobby could try to be the friendly person he usually was towards the guard, but he didn’t know if that was possible just yet.

Bobby turned to meet Hanbin’s eyes and received a wry smile before they both looked at Jinhwan. He was still silent, still staring at the bland wooden flooring. The two shared one more look before Hanbin stood up and stretched.

“Whatever, let’s get back to practice.”

And with that, they all got back to what they were doing.

They didn't say a word about the bodyguard after that, and somehow they managed forget about him completely.

\-----

 

A car traveled silently down the highway, the only things aboard being a single human along with his baggage. His eyes were focused on the road while music played from his car’s radio. It was only a coincidence that the song playing belonged to none other than his clients.

Junhoe wasn’t a fan of Korean-pop. It’s not like he hated it, he just didn’t exactly listen to it often. He was more into acoustics, ballad, old school and the likes. Even so, he didn’t bother changing to a different radio station. He would eventually have to hear iKON songs on endless repeat anyway. Best he get used to them.

Junhoe didn’t notice that he held his breath as he backed up into a parking spot. Not until he let it out a deep sigh when the gear was finally pulled to ‘P’. Was he nervous? Of course. He was about to be the personal bodyguard of an idol group. What’s worse? He was actually younger than all three of the members.

Sure his build and his skills gave him an advantage to be trusted as a bodyguard- maybe his indifferent personality helped too- but the thought of protecting those not-far-older members who could always talk him down left him wondering just how merciful they would be.

Maybe they were actually nice? Junhoe might be worried for nothing.

Junhoe grabbed all his belongings and started up to iKON’s apartment. On the way, his mind busied itself with remembering the duties he was given, all the necessary information, what to watch for and what to avoid, along with some other little details. Upon reaching the front door, he straightened himself, ready for his first impression, and knocked.

He waited. Two beats. Three beats. The door was still closed.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked again. Nothing. ‘I guess... knock harder this time,’ he thought. The third time however ended with him nearly knocking someone in the face. His eyes blew wide as he held his fist right in front of a person’s aggravated face and he quickly retracted his hand, following it up with a bow.

“My apologies, sir.” Junhoe straightened up only to find that the person was gone, leaving the door agape. He blinked, feeling confused. He waited a while, thinking that maybe the figure would return and usher him in, or something like that. When no one came after a whole minute, he decided to just enter. _‘Things are going great already,’_ he thought sarcastically.

The only kind of greeting Junhoe received when he entered the living room was an irritated glare from Hanbin while the other two busied themselves with their phones, seeming like they were intentionally avoiding Junhoe. _‘This is definitely welcoming…’_

Clearing his voice, the younger bowed and introduced himself.

“Koo… Junhoe,” Hanbin muttered, as if testing the name on his tongue. The bodyguard turned out younger than he was expecting. He stared, or rather glared, right into Junhoe’s eyes like he was waiting for something.

The tension while Junhoe kept the eye contact was almost overwhelming. Almost. He wouldn’t be the one to look away first though. That’s not how Junhoe worked. He’d stare back as long as he needed to, taking up the challenge.

Bobby took a glance at Hanbin. Even he would crumple under Hanbin’s glare. Younger or older, Hanbin wouldn’t hesitate to beat anyone who got out of line, so it really wasn’t a surprise when he was chosen as the group’s leader.

A sliver of sympathy for Junhoe managed to wedge itself into Bobby’s chest, his expression softened a bit right after. It was probably due to his knowledge of Junhoe being younger, or that he was the newcomer who had to deal with moody hyungs, but he already felt a little protective towards Junhoe.

It was funny, really. Junhoe was supposed to be the one protecting them.

Bobby pushed himself up from the couch, gave Junhoe a once-over then a smirk. The eye contact finally broke between the intense two when Junhoe shifted his focus onto Bobby. “I’m Kim Jiwon, but you should just call me Bobby. No honorifics whatsoever… ah, just ‘hyung’ is alright,” he started. Junhoe nodded and smiled thinly, relaxing just a little.

 _‘At least this one is trying…’_ Junhoe thought to himself.

“This is Kim Hanbin, our leader and maknae,” Bobby figured to the man who had already turned away in disinterest. Hanbin didn’t hate the guy. The guy was just unfortunate enough to have come in the worst of times. Hanbin couldn’t help but let his frustration flare up towards him. He just hoped that it wouldn't go overboard.

 _‘So this is the leader, B.I... No wonder Yang-nim told me to be careful around him,’_ Junhoe thought.

“And this one over here is Kim Jinhwan, our oldest hyung and the vocalist of our group.”

Junhoe looked at Jinhwan, and for the first time since he arrived Jinhwan finally looked up from his phone. He only meant to take a look, nod, then go back to what he was doing but his eyes stayed on Junhoe’s face, and in return Junhoe did the same.

...

_“Kim Jinhwan is the person you need to keep an eye on. He is neither stupid nor stubborn but somehow trouble tends to find its way to him. I need you to look after him the most. Pay attention to not just his whereabouts but also his activities.”_

...

Junhoe breathed silently through his nose as he examined Jinhwan. He was almost a head shorter than Junhoe, which was actually cute to some degree. He seemed frail and the expression he wore just screamed ‘helpless’. Everything about him made him look fragile. His employer’s orders made sense now.

Junhoe noticed something though. Even in a gloomy look, Jinhwan was a pretty face. The way his- presumably soft- hair fell just above his eyes and the small heart-shaped mole on his right cheek made him look undoubtedly charming. Junhoe wondered what he would look like if he smiled a little...

Junhoe blinked. Just, no. His thoughts got into the category of ‘unnecessary’. As a common procedure for when these things happened, Junhoe gave himself a mental slap so that all the useless thoughts and feelings were shut out immediately.

Jinhwan noticed the starring, sure, but he was lost in his own thoughts. The bodyguard had look at him slightly familiarly, even when the two had never met before. Did that mean that he knew about Jinhwan? About the incident? About his mistake? How much did he know? Who told him? What did he think of Kim Jinhwan? The questions buzzed in his head.

“Just hyung for me too,” Jinhwan said calmly, contrasting with his thoughts. He finally looked away, but not back to his phone. He looked at the clock instead. “I’m going back to the practice room,” he said in a hollow tone, as if his soul had completely vacated his body.

Junhoe was quick to drop his things and follow, until a tight grip on the shoulder stopped him. He looked over his shoulder to see Hanbin shaking his head. “Your ‘duty’ starts tomorrow. Go put your shit away.”

Junhoe furrowed his brows as his feet were cemented to the ground by iKON’s leader. Hanbin only brushed past him to join Jinhwan out the door, saying nothing more.

Bobby pursed his lips, knowing well enough that Junhoe didn’t deserve that kind of treatment from them. He was here because of his job, afterall. It’s not like he wanted to move in with strangers and babysit them.

Junhoe picked up his bags and looked around, only then realizing that he didn’t know where he was supposed to go. “Where am I- ...ah.” His words halted just as Hanbin disappeared through the front door. Junhoe huffed.

“Ah, we kinda forgot that you were coming to move in so… em, you were supposed to move into our store room over there,” Bobby explained as he motioned to said room. The room was in a huge mess. Massive mounds of clothing on what was probably the bed, tall stacks of boxes towered over various bags with unknown content. It was indeed a store room, not even close to being able to live in.

Junhoe’s jaw dropped for a moment- _'I'm supposed to sleep in there?_ \- but he regained his composure quickly. “Am I supposed to clear the place?” He asked, trying to level his tone towards his hyung.

Bobby scratched the back of his head. “Maybe. Or you can take the couch for tonight?”

“...I think the couch will do. Thanks, hyung.”

They both sighed.


	2. Settling In

The next morning began in stiff silence. All three of the band members, along with their new housemate, sat through breakfast without a word. The air was thick with awkwardness and it made it hard for Junhoe to breathe. Just like the others, he only focused on the bowl of fried rice in front of him as he carefully shoved spoonfuls of the food into his mouth.

Bobby looked up for a while, watching Hanbin eat his rice and throwing sideways glances towards Junhoe. Bobby really didn’t understand Hanbin's motives for doing so. Jinhwan on the other hand was only staring at his bowl, using his spoon to stir the rice around as he watched the grains tumble about. He barely ate anything.

…

The night before, or rather way earlier that day, Hanbin and Jinhwan returned from their practicing. Bobby didn’t join them that time because he was busy helping Junhoe clear up what they could in the extra room for the night. They managed to get through halfway before Bobby called it quits. Moving stuff that wasn’t his proved to be a lot more difficult than he initially thought. At least most of his stuff were already sorted out.

Hanbin only huffed through his nose when he came back to the sight of Junhoe sleeping soundly on their couch. The younger man’s body was way too big for the timeworn couch. It was visible how uncomfortable he was, with his legs hanging off the edge and his head buried deep into the base of the arm rest.

Hanbin didn’t spare another second of starring. There was already a small bud of concern growing in his gut but he didn’t want to attend to it. He walked off and entered his room, more than ready to just hit the showers and sink into bed.

Jinhwan stayed for a while, eyeing over the man on the couch once again. Junhoe didn’t quite match Jinhwan’s imagination of a personal bodyguard. He thought he would have a big, burly and certainly older man playing the role. Instead, Junhoe just looked like any other young man around the block.

With the thin shirt that Junhoe was wearing, it wasn’t hard to see that Junhoe was definitely trained for his job. His big frame, well maintained body for both strength and agility, and his by far stoic behavior at least made the fact that he was a bodyguard more plausible.

Jinhwan didn’t realize when his eyes started trailing up to Junhoe’s face again, putting the sleepy features under scrutiny. Junhoe had a more masculine face than Jinhwan did. He had a sharp jawline, sharp eyebrows that hovered above droopy eyes and full, slightly chapped lips.

If Jinhwan remembered right, Junhoe’s irises were dark, similar to his hair that was pointing in all sorts of directions, ruffled up by the couch’s fabric. His eyes were focused and intense, but now that he was sleeping and his eyelids closed over them, Junhoe just looked peaceful. And handsome too. In fact, he looked like he could be an idol.

Jinhwan broke out of his trance when his lips parted open for a yawn. He whined softly as he recovered, unfortunately making Junhoe shift in his sleep. He could only guess that Junhoe was trained to be a light sleeper.

Turning on his heels, Jinhwan quietly crept to his room and got ready for a bed. He couldn't help but think about the bodyguard as he curled up in bed, sloppily tucked under his blanket.

Jinhwan wondered if he could manage to get anywhere close to comfortable with the band members. The bodyguard would eventually find out about their habits, flaws and irritable traits. Summing those up with the lingering somber mood, maybe he would end up leaving them for better clients.

Closing his eyes, Jinhwan hoped for one thing after another. The first hope was for the bodyguard to leave them entirely, while the other hope, a smaller hope, was for the bodyguard to be patient enough with them during his stay.

"Koo Junhoe..." He tried, whispering to himself, before his thoughts numbed and his eyes fluttered close.

...

“So, Junhoe-yah, tell us a little about yourself.”

Junhoe looked up at Bobby’s sweaty, smiling face that showcased his somewhat crooked teeth, reminding him of a bunny. For a while wondered whether those kinds of conversations were common between bodyguard and client. All he did was just sit in a mildly seasoned chair as he watched the trio practice, partially impressed on how they could continuously work within a long span of time, gradually losing interest as minutes passed.

He didn’t think he’d have to participate in a conversation, what more was it when the topic was about him personally.

“What would you like to know, hyung?”

“Anything? Family, hobbies, interests or… anything," Bobby said with a shrug. To Bobby, the only way you can get closer to a person is to know more about them and communicate, so that was what he was doing. He was trying.

“Uhn…” The younger began, thinking of what exactly to tell.

“I used to live with my parents and sister. Then I moved to an apartment for a short while until I had to move… here,” he said a little weirdly. The stare he felt at the back of his head from who he could only guess was Hanbin made him physically react, scratching lightly at his nape.

“I’ve taken up jiu-jitsu for awhile now... I admire Bruce Lee. And I guess you could say that I’m a fan of Michael Jackson.”

“M.J.? You love his songs?” Bobby asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

“More than his songs, I love everything that he’s done and everything that he is. I learned how to do the moonwalk when I was 13,” Junhoe said, lips breaking to a little smirk when Bobby looked nothing short of amazed.

 

The smirk vanished when Hanbin spoke up. “Heh, how exciting. Who knew bodyguards had a life? I thought all they had was only a stick up their ass,” he sneered, which earned a glare from Bobby and a tired sigh from Jinhwan, who had been nothing but quiet as he tuned into the conversation.

Hanbin bit his tongue in slight regret but did nothing to apologize. He knew the way he acted was immature, but the words just slipped without much thought. He couldn’t care much though, he didn’t want to. He just wanted to blame his actions on his physical and mental exhaustion.

However, Junhoe wasn’t fazed. He just looked up at Hanbin with wry smile and shrugged. “Hm, things aren’t always what they seem, are they?” He replied. His lips twitched, threatening to smirk when Hanbin looked irritated towards his indifference.

Hanbin wanted to hiss back but Jinhwan quickly intervened by leaning over and clinging onto his arm. “Bin-ah, be quiet. You’re interrupting the conversation,” he said lazily. Hanbin only rolled his eyes and frowned before turning back to the computer screen.

“Sorry about him. He’s just been a little moody lately. I swear he’s usually better than this,” Bobby apologized in a hushed tone, forehead creased.

What Bobby wanted was for Junhoe to become comfortable with them, not hate them. Hanbin was not helping the slightest bit.

Junhoe had his eyes on Jinhwan clinging to Hanbin. Skinship, something that was normal for idols but still foreign to him. He wasn’t the type for physical contact, because his knee-jerk reaction would always be to swat away anyone who tried to touch him. After a moment, he turned to Bobby with a cheeky smile.

“Maybe bodyguards aren’t the only ones with sticks up their butts.”

The sentence sent Bobby cackling, which made Junhoe grin. Hanbin heard it and he tensed up, but Jinhwan stopped him from doing anything right away by clutching harder onto his arm.

Bobby couldn’t help but notice how Junhoe used the word ‘butt’ instead of ‘ass’.

It was cute, he thought.

Bobby and Junhoe talked a little more before Hanbin stood up and called his members into practice. Junhoe took the chance to properly assess his clients. It was nothing much, really. He just decided to choose his favorites in various skill categories like singing, dancing, rapping, presence, energy and the likes.

Hanbin won for dancing and presence, being exceptionally good with the way he delivers through his expressions. Bobby won for rapping and energy. He rapped melodically yet and he was giving off an energy that Junhoe couldn’t help but feel hyped up along with him. Junhoe also found that Hanbin and Bobby’s rap styles complement each other so well.

After a few song changes... Scrap that, they were all really good practically everything somehow.

Then there was Jinhwan. He was the main vocalist in the group so he naturally won best for singing. Jinhwan won the sexy category too. He just had to.

Every time Jinhwan took the centre of the formation, he’d give out an alluring aura that made it impossible for Junhoe to look away. Captivating eyes, fluid moves and a perfect vocal tone to match. He only glanced elsewhere when Jinhwan caught him staring. No one noticed how his neck flushed a gentle red. No one but Jinhwan.

Junhoe realized that his heart rate increased in speed. It wasn’t a good feeling, not a feeling he wanted to understand at all. He shook his head and mentally slapped himself again. Maybe he should’ve just left them to dance and do something else like look through his phone or maybe read or write. But no, then he figured that interaction would create a beneficial bond that would make his job easier, so he decided against it.

Junhoe took a deep breath. With the strange feelings out of his system, he turned back to the hardworking idols and watched them. This time whenever Jinhwan looked at him, he would just watch on or maybe smirk.

At the back of Jinhwan’s mind, he had hope to see Junhoe’s reaction again. He couldn’t have been imagining things when he saw a blush creep to the younger man’s face. There was a tinge of hopefulness, but the hope was soon enough extinguished when Junhoe was none other than relaxed for the rest of the practice.

Jinhwan wasn’t sure why he felt disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is boring ;-;
> 
> I haven't written something long in a while, so I'm kinda nervous on how good this will be.  
> I hope it'll at least be acceptable. I'm not too experienced in writing good things.


	3. Spring Cleaning

The next day, Junhoe woke up with a groan, partially because his body ached a little from an uncomfortable sleep on the couch and also because there were continuous sounds of soft bangs, clanking and dragging. The sounds weren’t loud, but they woke the alert bodyguard up anyway.

Squinting around the room that was illuminated by bright lights, Junhoe noticed how suddenly there were a lot more things around the living room than he last remembered of the night before. He slowly pushed onto the couch to sit himself up and looked around to take in the situation, having a moment to yawn in the process.

There was the sound of dragging again, so Junhoe turned towards its direction. It sounded heavy, rough and slow.

At first he saw a glimpse of a large cardboard box poking out the corner, the box revealing itself inch by inch. Then, he saw small hands holding firmly onto the box as it was being pushed. The appearance of iKON’s oldest member made the corners of his lips quirk up slightly.

“Jinhwan-hyung, good morning.” Junhoe watched as the smaller man’s eyes blew wide in surprise when he spun on his heels to look at Junhoe.

“Ah, morning,” Jinhwan muttered embarrassingly, recovering from his little shock. His eyes were frantic to look elsewhere other than at the bodyguard, hands restless as they hang awkwardly against his sides. Jinhwan had already started to hate his first impression towards Junhoe. The fact that the bodyguard was smirking, maybe slightly fondly, at his reaction made things worse.

Junhoe peered over to look at what Jinhwan was pushing around, realizing that it was one of the many items that was originally situated in the ‘storeroom-bedroom’.

“You’re cleaning up the room, hyung?” Jinhwan nodded, lips pulled into a wry smile.

“Alright then, let me help," Junhoe offered as he stood up to full height, stretching a little while he was at it.

Jinhwan wasn’t sure if he wanted to protest or allow the younger lend a hand, but Junhoe was already on his way to him. However, the decision was given to Hanbin when he abruptly walked out of the corner and slammed into Junhoe, the box in-hand knocked out of his grip.

Luckily, Junhoe was fast enough to save the box from crashing down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, Hanbin-hyu-... ah, Hanbin-nim,” Junhoe stuttered as he held the small box out to return it.

Hanbin glowered down at Junhoe, or rather up since the younger was actually taller than him. He purposefully pulled the box out of Junhoe’s hands roughly and clicked his tongue.

“Don’t touch my stuff. Go take a fucking shower or something. And brush your teeth,” Hanbin grumbled before trudging off with his box.

Junhoe sighed faintly as his shoulders slumped a bit. He wasn’t at all dejected for being treated like he was some foolish scum, but he did wish he could last at least an hour without Hanbin glaring or hissing at him whenever Hanbin saw him.

Junhoe looked up at Jinhwan who was giving an apologetic look- which was slightly adorable to him by the way- and just waved it off, saying ‘it’s ok’ without a word.

The bodyguard decided to comply with Hanbin’s suggestion. He walked off to grab his towel and a clean change of clothes. Jinhwan’s eyes followed the younger’s movements as he headed for the bathroom, the door closing behind him with a soft click. Jinhwan frowned for a while before going back to his task.

_‘If only you came by earlier… before the whole mess. Maybe… maybe you wouldn’t have to see us like this. But then again... if the incident didn’t happen, would you meet us at all?’_

Jinhwan shook his head furiously.

Junhoe shouldn’t ever enter iKON’s lives earlier. Not when he could easily find out how pathetic Jinhwan was back then. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t just as useless as of late, but he made sure to keep himself self-conscious enough to avoid making another fatal mistake.

Jinhwan wished for something that could never happen; a new first impression with Junhoe, a new beginning.

…

“Hyung.”

Bobby’s head perked up before he turned away from the soon-to-be-rolled eggs cooking on the stove to look at Junhoe, immediately pulling up a grin.

“Junhoe-yah, have you come here to help me with breakfast?”

Junhoe really felt like he was being treated as their maknae now, and not just their bodyguard. He blamed Bobby for making things a lot more comfortable and easygoing for Junhoe to settle in. Even though he only moved in two days ago and Hanbin was still hostile towards him, he felt like he could be himself. Well, around Bobby mostly.

He didn’t forget to treat his clients with respect... that is, where he deemed it fit.

“No. I’m a bodyguard, not a maid. I don’t help you cook eggs, I only stop the eggs when they threaten to explode in your face,” Junhoe stated, easily holding up a straight face. Bobby’s laugh forced him to grin.

“That makes sense,” Bobby said between chuckles then he shook his head. “Whatever, I’m almost done anyway.” Bobby carefully rolled the egg in the pan and set it on a plate. Junhoe was partially amazed. He didn’t take Bobby as the type who could cook, but the succulent, stuffed rolls presented delicately on the on the table proved that Bobby was more than meets the eye.

Breakfast passed by a little less silent than yesterday, Bobby doing most of the talking while Junhoe and Jinhwan replied when necessary. Hanbin only talked when he wanted to argue about something.

“No, you are getting your _own_ bed sheets.”

“Really, Bin? They’re just bed sheets,” Bobby huffed exasperatedly.

Again, Hanbin knew he was acting immature, but the way Junhoe was welcomed into the apartment so quickly didn’t settle his initial reason for being an asshole to Junhoe in the first place. Hanbin wanted to remain sulky, just a little more.

“Yeah but he needs to get his own anyway. He doesn’t have a spare if we were to do laundry now that we have an extra bed in use,” Hanbin explained, thankful that his brain churned up a somewhat reasonable explanation to his word.

Junhoe nodded, expression set in a way of agreement to Hanbin’s idea. Hanbin felt good.

“Ah, looks like we’re going shopping with our new Mr Bodyguard now,” Bobby sing-songed, his arm shot up to hook around Junhoe’s shoulders. The younger male tensed slightly, since he wasn’t used to such gestures especially from clients.

Junhoe huffed before he relaxed. _‘I guess it’s something I’ve gotta get used to.’_

“Hyung, you have not only missed one of our practices but we also have to continue with the song composition. We can’t delay things anymore!” Hanbin pointed out with a scowl.

Hanbin's point was valid, Bobby knew. They had been working on a few songs for the past few months and the last one had some tweaking to do. They were already late as it was, so Hanbin didn't want their manager to be all up in their faces with deadlines _again._

“Aw man… I guess you’ll go with Jinan-hyung then.”

At the mention of his name, Jinhwan glanced up at Bobby and sighed. Bobby should’ve already known that Jinhwan wasn’t a fan of the idea. Stepping out of his comfort zone; _his safety._

“Junhoe can go by himself-,” Hanbin said before his eyes widened by a thought that popped up in his head. “-but that’s not a bad idea. Jinhwan-hyung needs some sun and fresh air anyway.”

Hanbin thought that it was about time that Jinhwan stepped out of the premises of their company. He had been spending all of his hours in either their small, cramped apartment or their practice room for weeks.

Jinhwan’s lips tugged into a small frown as he eyed Hanbin’s knowing expression. When he shifted his gaze to Junhoe’s dark, captivating eyes, wanting to tell the younger that he wasn’t in with the idea, his words faltered.

Junhoe looked at him with a classic bodyguard-like focused expression. The look itself portraying the man’s sense of duty; calm, strong, protective and most importantly, _safe._

That wasn’t the thing that made Jinhwan hesitate though. The thing was that Junhoe’s eyes gave out a different feeling. They were soft, encouraging and maybe a little pleading too. Maybe Jinhwan was imagining things, maybe he had just gone out of his mind, but it looked like the younger was looking forward to the idea of heading out with him.

Not being able to look away, Jinhwan closed his eyes instead.

“Okay.”

Hanbin and Bobby visibly relaxed. Junhoe noticed that but didn’t question. He already had another thought in his mind.

_‘Let’s see just how vulnerable you really are, Kim Jinhwan.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated :D


	4. Clear Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is a lot earlier than it should be xD  
> If you haven't noticed, I'm updating this fic every Saturday... or at least I try.  
> School is very taxing and life is unpredictable.
> 
> I just happen to be sick today so have fun with this chap :D  
> Sorry if all my chapters are short lol.

_“Buy us some groceries too. We’re running out of… everything.”_

_Hanbin’s face was serious._

_Junhoe internally sighed._

…

Jinhwan had his hands stuffed into the warm pockets of his hoodie as he walked across a few blocks from iKON’s apartment, hood pulled over his head in hopes that no passersby would recognize him. He breathed softly through the fabric of his mask, eyes flicking up to the taller figure who was walking closely behind him, always looming over the shoulder.

Jinhwan’s heart beat rapidly but the reasons for that were unclear to him. The logic and reasonable part of him was saying that he felt nervous due to having an unfamiliar company with him, but there was something else he couldn't explain.

“Ah,” he uttered faintly as he stared up at his favorite brand’s ramyeon. Sure, there were a bunch of other ramyeons within reach but his favorite had to be the one up in the higher shelves. He reached up, about to get on his tiptoes when Junhoe stepped forward and easily took it for him, handing it to Jinhwan without sparing the older man a glance.

“Oh. Thank you, Junhoe.” Jinhwan smiled up at the person who didn’t bother to look back but only nodded, making Jinhwan’s smile fade.

Junhoe rarely faced him properly, the older noticed. Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to Jinhwan’s company either. The whole time they strolled through the grocery store aisles was spent quietly, neither one of them willing to strike up a conversation. Only a few exchanged glances and a nod, shake or a motion of a brow were necessary for their communication.

Jinhwan wondered what Junhoe was thinking of. Whether it was the task at hand, merely guarding his client, or something else. What if Junhoe was actually observing him closely when he wasn’t looking? Junhoe knew about him, didn’t he? Knew about his past? Junhoe could be silently judging him by his every move, and Jinhwan wouldn’t know.

The bothersome train of thought was put to a stop when he felt a large, warm hand on his shoulder.

“Hyung? You’ve been glaring at the cabbage like it offended your family for a while now.”

Jinhwan’s shoulders jerked in surprise before he turned around and awkwardly smiled, warmth creeping onto his cheeks. He looked straight into the younger’s eyes that were teasing and the blush grew warmer, immediately deciding that it was best to look down to the floor instead.

“I- I’m just… debating whether we should buy one or two. I’m not sure… yeah,” Jinhwan tried to cover up, the two heads of cabbage gripped a little too tightly in his small hands.

Junhoe hummed as he thought. “Take one. We’ll get another when necessary,” he said as he gently pried one poor cabbage out of Jinhwan’s vice grip. The packaging had a few faint marks on it, but Junhoe returned it to the shelf anyway.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Jinhwan mumbled as he placed the vegetable into their shopping cart. He turned to Junhoe again, only to find that the other was watching him attentively. Jinhwan shifted awkwardly in his spot and tilted his head, his eyebrows doing the questioning for him.

“Hold on,” Junhoe muttered as he dug into his jacket's right pocket, pulling out a packet of tissue. Junhoe swiftly pulled out a piece and held it out to Jinhwan whose brows furrowed in confusion.

“What is-” Before Jinhwan could ask, Junhoe rolled his eyes and dabbed the tissue onto Jinhwan’s face.

Only then did Jinhwan realize he had been sweating. A lot.

“Oh, ah- wait,” he said as he grabbed Junhoe’s hand to stop him, cheeks flushing a lot more than before as he snatched the tissue away. “Sorry, I tend to sweat a lot when I’m…”

“Nervous?” Jinhwan nodded then continued the work of drying his face.

There was silence before, “Do I scare you?” Junhoe asked, sincerely curious.

“No! I just- I’m thinking about a lot of things, alright? And I’m not too familiar with you yet. And I’m not Bobby,” Jinhwan explained honestly. There was no harm in it. As long as the bodyguard didn’t question further, that is.

Junhoe nodded and, thankfully, he did not say anything more.

…

“What kind bed sheets would you like? Plain? Patterned?”

“Oh? I’m sure plain white is what’s suited for a... me.”

“A you?”

Junhoe scrunched his nose. “No- uh, I mean me as in bodyguard me. I should just use plain white bedsheets.”

“It’s really fine if you want any other color and style. You’re going to live with us for a while, so just get comfortable while you’re at it.” Jinhwan fussed when Junhoe really didn’t mind plain white. It’s not like the color was a factor of comfortability for him or anything. Unless it was an absolutely striking and luminescent color that could kill tired eyes, of course.

“Hyung, you really don’t-” But Jinhwan was already searching for something for Junhoe. When he found a simple navy blue design with light stripes, he took it and held it out for Junhoe.

“Ah, I think this dark blue suits your-” Jinhwan hesitated and Junhoe’s eyebrows raised.

“-you. It suits... you.”

Jinhwan started sweating again and this time he was highly aware of it.

Junhoe blinked. Jinhwan blinked. Junhoe took the set, a little too slowly for Jinhwan’s liking, and exchanged it with the pack of tissues from earlier.

“Thanks, hyung.”

The moment of awkwardness could have lasted longer if it wasn’t for the sudden squeal from a group of girls nearby.

“It’s Kim Jinhwan!”

Jinhwan startled and fear flooded his mind immediately, causing the guy to visibly panic. The tissue pack was clutched in his hand.

This alarmed Junhoe. Acting quick, he pulled Jinhwan to the other side of the shelves and held the smaller close. Jinhwan’s heart was beating wildly as he stayed still, pressed up against Junhoe’s chest.

The bodyguard paid no mind to that though. He was peering around the shelves to find the girls he heard earlier. They were still where they were, but neither one of them were turned their direction. Junhoe was confused.

“Of course it is! No one else is this beautiful!” Another girl exclaimed.

“I want to watch too!” A third one joined in. They were all staring at one thing; a phone. A phone that played a video of Jinhwan performing on stage some months ago.

Junhoe sighed in relief and turned to the worried face that was half-buried into his shirt.

“Ah, sorry. My bad,” he said as he loosened his hold but kept an arm around Jinhwan’s shoulder. Jinhwan was a flushed mess but from their close proximity a second before, Junhoe figured that anyone would be.

“Don’t worry, they’re just watching a video with you in it. No one knows you’re here.”

Jinhwan nodded, but his breaths were shallow.

“Hyung?”

Jinhwan’s hands were trembling as he barely squeaked out, “Yeah?”

Junhoe’s eyebrows furrowed. “We’re done. Let’s get out of here.”


	5. Secure Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I want to make a double update today... but I don't know.  
> Do you guys think I should? I can be so impatient lmao

“So no one noticed?”

“Yes, sir.”

Hanbin sighed in relief, but it sounded more like a huff of annoyance. He turned towards Bobby and Jinhwan, the former rubbing comforting circles into the latter’s back. Jinhwan hugged his knees against his chest and buried his face into them, the mask he wore earlier dangling from a single ear.

“That’s good. Now Jinan-hyung can relax, right?” Bobby said as he patted Jinhwan on the shoulder, keeping a light tone to calm the older from his trembling.

Jinhwan didn’t say anything but he shifted a little and leaned against Bobby. Bobby’s smile was a tad bit bitter and knowing when he moved to wrap his arms around Jinhwan. Jinhwan’s cold, sweaty hands reached out for Hanbin now, and he was pulled in for a group cuddling.

Hanbin did no move to decline so he joined them, lacing his arm over Bobby’s so they enveloped Jinhwan in a secure embrace. His expression was soft as he rested his cheek on jinhwan’s head. He knew the older needed it, the feeling of warmth from his most trusted ones. These things tend to happen and when they did, Hanbin would comply with no hesitation.

The room was silent.

Junhoe watched with interest at first, observing as Jinhwan’s tight facial expression changed to a relaxed one in a matter of seconds. Friendship really did have an impact on those involved. Junhoe believed in that.

Unfortunately, Junhoe’s amusement was cut short when he realized how strange it must be to have a ‘stranger’ spectating their familiar antics. As far as Junhoe knew, he certainly wouldn't like it if someone was watching him hug his mom or sister in any way, especially if that onlooker wasn't a close friend.

Looking away, Junhoe shifted awkwardly from a foot to the other before taking a step back.

“I’ll be in…” _my room_ , was what Junhoe wanted to say, but his room was not all ready yet for his welcoming so instead he said, “-the kitchen. To put these away.” He waved the plastic bags in his hands to clarify what he meant before heading off.

“Thanks, June.”

Junhoe almost tripped over himself.

One thing for sure was that someone had given him a nickname. Wow, talk about formalities. But that wasn’t the worst part.

The problem was that Hanbin was the one who said it. Who thanked him _and_ nicknamed him.

Junhoe stopped in his tracks to look over his shoulder and nod to Hanbin in response, _professionally_. He wondered whether the way he was treated was because of the trio’s lack in education of professional interaction or it was because he was the youngest. Either way, he wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

 _‘This sucks,’_ Junhoe mentally declared. He went straight to the kitchen to proceed with his task.

…

“Yaaah, almost done!” Junhoe celebrated quietly as he turned back to the counter to take the last item in the bag to be put away. When he reached for it however, it wasn’t a food item. It was actually his bedsheets.

“I guess I should finish cleaning the room now,” he mumbled to himself. Ah, he felt a little too lazy to be doing just that, but he had no choice. The trio were on the couch and he had nowhere else to go.

“All you have to do is put on the bed sheets, really.”

Junhoe turned to a smirking Bobby who was leaning against the kitchen’s entryway with arms crossed. He seemed proud of himself.

“Eh?”

“Hanbin decided that we get the room cleaning thing out of the way once and for all.”

So he was proud of Hanbin then.

“Hanbin-hyung confuses me,” Junhoe stated truthfully, lightly scratching at his nape that wasn't even itchy.

Bobby chuckled. “Sorry about that, but you’ll understand him in time.” Junhoe gave him an exasperated look which made him laugh more.

Junhoe couldn’t think of when or how he will be able to understand the rigid leader. Not when when the rarest of times when they would talk- Junhoe tried to avoid him a lot- ended up giving him headaches.

“How’s Jinhwan-hyung?” Junhoe blurted out suddenly and it killed Bobby’s laughter.

“He’s fine. These things happened time to time since a few months back. That’s why he tries not to go out often. But he has to eventually, ya know.”

Junhoe nodded, half understanding and the other completely not. He didn’t know about what happened to the three. Not entirely. He wasn’t told, neither did he ask. He figured that he should ask now that he had the chance, but his thinking took too long and Bobby spoke up again.

“Come on, let’s go put on those sheets.”

“Let’s?”

“Yeah, dude. I’m helping.”

“Hyung, I am more than capable of-”

“Nonsense!”

Junhoe wanted to sigh, but he laughed instead. Bobby was certainly a good energy to be around. He was a little too much sometimes though. Sometimes. But Junhoe appreciated him. He definitely did, but he would never say so.

…

Ten minutes later after Junhoe and Bobby got done with the sheets, they did a small victory dance together. A very small one, considering how they were still subtly aware of their worker-client relationship, but they danced nonetheless and Junhoe only had Bobby to blame for the hype.

"Enjoy your room, Junhoe! Bask in all our hard work!"

Bobby left a short while after to give Junhoe some space, and Junhoe used the shining opportunity to tumble in his bed, acquainting himself with his soon-to-be-best friend. He stretched himself across the bed, feeling like the happiest man on earth now that he didn’t have to cramp up on the couch anymore. Junhoe burrowed his face into his pillow, inhaling the scent of his new pillowcase.

It brought his thoughts back to when he was in the store and Jinhwan was holding the set out to him. There was something that Jinhwan said that peaked his curiosity. The color suited him, the older had said, and that wasn't something any man would just say to another.

Maybe Jinhwan had an eye for colors? That was the only reasonable explanation to not make things... weird.

_iKON, the three members... they were all weird._

...

Jinhwan _did_ knock and the inhabitant _did_ allow him to go in, but he was expecting to be greeted by a face, not an ass.

Junhoe was so deep in thought that he didn’t realize his knees had shuffled forward and his rear was in the air. His face was still pretty much stuck in the softness of his pillow, and his faint humming of joy almost deafened his ears. Almost.

“Uh… Junhoe.”

Startled, Junhoe jolted and sat up straight, almost meerkat-like when he turned towards Jinhwan with wide eyes. Jinhwan looked at him weirdly and Junhoe felt completely embarrassed.

He made a fool of himself in front of his client. Jinhwan would never take him seriously now. He was doomed.

“Yes?” Was Junhoe’s seemingly undisturbed reply. Unaffected, Junhoe was good at pulling that off, he believed.

The short display actually made Jinhwan chuckle, then he put on a wry smile. “I see someone's enjoying his bed.”

“Yes, of course I am. It’s way better than that couch,” Junhoe replied, his tone a little defensive for no apparent reason.

He was hugging his pillow tightly against his chest but when he realized that, he quickly tossed the pillow away. His hands fumbled around from the lack of anything to hold or do until he just crossed them over his chest. He gave off a childish image that amused Jinhwan, and he could feel his brain sweat.

 _‘Junhoe, you’re just the smoothest...’_ Junhoe mentally facepalmed.

Jinhwan couldn't help but laugh more. Junhoe watched with wonder as the older tried to gather himself up. Jinhwan smiling, Jinhwan laughing. Those two things had pretty much jabbed at Junhoe’s chest and made his heart flutter. Junhoe was about to mentally scold his emotions but Jinhwan was already talking.

“I wanted to say thank you… and I’m sorry. For just now, I mean. I panicked and my brain stopped. It was probably weird for you, wasn’t it? Thanks for helping me there.”

Junhoe shifted to sit properly on the bed with lips settled on a half-smirk and he pushed aside his mental breakdown for another time. “It’s all good, hyung. I was just doing my job.”

 _‘Agh, right. That’s his job. Of course, why am I so stupid?’_ Jinhwan faked a smile, but it was too fake for Junhoe. Junhoe had seen what was real. Kind of. Bringing that up would be weird though, so he let it slide.

“Thanks anyway,” Jinhwan said before looking down to his feet. He wanted to say something, to explain why he was sorry, why he reacted the way he did, but he also had a thought that Junhoe may already know. The younger wasn’t asking after all.

“I think-” Jinhwan started anyway, but was cut off by Hanbin’s shouts.

“Jinan-hyung! Bobby-hyung!”

Jinhwan hesitated before giving an apologetic look to Junhoe, who nodded in return, then heading out to wherever Hanbin was. When he and Bobby met up with Hanbin, the leader’s face was serious.

“The date has been set.”

Jinhwan tilted his head and Bobby was equally confused. “Date?”

“Our comeback.”


	6. Ruthless Practices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we learn a little about the bodyguard's good friend~
> 
> Also, double update!  
> Cause readers deserve it (and author is very indiscipline) ;w;

All three of the iKON members were scattered across the laminate flooring, panting harshly after a ruthless practicing session. Hanbin leaned against a wall and tried to level his breathing, mind never resting when he began to think of mistakes to fix and ways to make their performance a whole new level of better.

“Bobby, try not to mumble-rap too much. I couldn’t catch some of your lines when it was your part,” the tired leader pointed out with what little breath he had left.

Bobby shut his eyes tight when he groaned, his body falling slowly to sprawl onto the wooden floor. Bobby knew he wasn’t doing as good as he always did, as good as he should always do, but he was far too exhausted to continue.

Above that, Bobby was frustrated at himself too. Hanbin and Jinhwan had gone through most of the routine without many mistakes but Bobby couldn’t do the same. Being a rapper was never easy. Not when the rapper was a person who had a tendency to mumble in his everyday speech.

Even so, Bobby loved rapping. He wanted to become a rapper, and indeed he became a rapper. His success in the rap competition ‘Show Me The Money’ proved that his passion and hard work got him through.

Now though, he desperately needed rest.

Junhoe pursed his lips as he watched the other three, phone put away a while ago since they took a break in practicing. Junhoe felt bad. He felt bad because he knew Bobby was tired but he couldn’t say anything to Hanbin. Jinhwan wasn’t saying anything too, but he was rather in his own distant world.

The three members have been working and practicing tirelessly since the day Hanbin announced the date of their comeback. They spent weeks straight without getting a sufficient amount of sleep and their diet wasn’t matching up with their daily requirements at all.

Junhoe slid off his seat and plopped down next to Bobby. He wanted to maybe pat the guy’s back or side-hug him for some encouragement but Bobby was a little too sweaty and gross for that. Someone who was still unfamiliar with affectionate physical touches like Junhoe couldn’t possibly make such sacrifices just yet.

“It’s okay, hyung. Just a little more focus and practice,” Junhoe said, mind still working out ways to help Bobby without touching him.

“Juneee, I’m so tired!” Bobby whined as he sat up using Junhoe’s now permanent nickname and threw his arms over his head to emphasize his words.

_‘Crap, wait!- … yeah, okay then.’_

So much for preventing from touch the sweaty older male. Bobby’s arms that were raised immediately shot back down and around Junhoe’s torso as he buried his face into Junhoe’s side, whining still.

Junhoe flinched and his nose scrunched up in response. He couldn’t hide how repelled he felt, no. Not towards his hyung’s clammy skin, neither to the strictly _unnecessary_ act of _clinging._

Disgusted Junhoe didn’t know what to do so he looked at Jinhwan for help. It was no use though. Jinhwan was staring blankly at… Bobby. Maybe he was just as tired as Bobby was, who knew? But Junhoe could've sworn he saw a wistful look pass Jinhwan's face.

Since he had no other choice, he turned to Hanbin with somewhat pleading eyes. “Hanbin-nim, can we stop the practice for today? They’re spent. Let’s not risk any injuries,” he said as he lightly patted Bobby’s shoulder, more so like he was swatting his hyung away.

Bobby didn’t move though, he already settled on the fact that it was nice feeling Junhoe’s kind of warmth and he wanted it to last. He was fairly aware of Junhoe's discomfort but the guy didn't exactly push him away, so he stayed, nose dug into the cloth of his bodyguard's shirt.

Hanbin gave Junhoe a hard glare. His exhausted brain made him feel overly defensive. “Who do you think you are? Don’t you think I care about my own members too? I know their limits, I will-”

“Hanbin-ssi, Junhoe is right. You should call it a day,” came a voice from the entryway. All four pairs of eyes looked up to manager Yunhyeong who had suddenly entered the room with a stern expression.

Hanbin wanted to retort, but Jinhwan stood up first and gave a shallow bow. “Thank you, manager Song.”

Indirectly silenced, Hanbin’s gaping mouth dropped close and he huffed. When Jinhwan butted in, there was never winning a fight.

“Why are you here, by the way? Did Yang-nim want us to do some fixing with the songs?” Bobby asked after he reluctantly untangled himself from an utterly disgruntled Junhoe.

“No, the songs you’ve submitted thus far have all been approved. I’m here for Koo Junhoe-ssi, actually,” Yunhyeong said as he gestured to the bodyguard who stood up immediately while fanning Bobby's sweat on his shirt dry.

Junhoe exited the room then turned towards Yunhyeong with an unimpressed look.

“What?”

“You forgot my honorifics at one point back there.”

“Huh?” Yunhyeong’s eyebrows knitted together as he tried to remember.

“Ah, whatever. I don’t think they noticed,” he muttered and waved a hand to brush it off. Junhoe rolled his eyes.

“I have something important to tell you anyway. Since iKON’s comeback is close, you’ll have a lot of things to do. Not only escort them everywhere but you have to call the in-house managers for their comeback stages, get info of their interviewers, drive them every necessary location and attend their fan meetings. Oh, and they might have some events and award cere-”

“Yoyo, why are you telling me this?” Junhoe cut in with an annoyed expression.

“Um, you’re their bodyguard, aren’t you?”

Junhoe shook his head. “No, that’s not the point. What I’m saying is, I already know all that. What do you think I trained for?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Again, Yunhyeong waved it off. Then, he placed his hands on Junhoe’s shoulders.

“Eat well, rest when possible. I hope you’re ready for it, Junhoe. Mind if I tell you how proud I am to see you sustaining a good job?”

“I can’t believe you’re still mothering me after thirteen years.”

Yunhyeong tutted. “I will do this until I die.”

Junhoe gave him an extravagant eye-roll but said nothing, because he was grateful as well. He was grateful of the fact that Yunhyeong had always been there for him. Junhoe wouldn't admit it, but if it wasn’t because of Yunhyeong, Junhoe might have not once found a good home, a career choice and the guts to babysit a group of hostile older men.

That was an exaggeration, but whatever. He swatted Yunhyeong’s hands away.

“If that’s all you wanted to tell me, then I’ll be off.”

“Wait. Yang-nim said he wants you to keep him, or rather me, updated with Jinhwan’s condition,” Yunhyeong said with a tone that was strictly serious.

Junhoe let a moment pass as he stared at the door to the practice room.

“What… happened?” Junhoe asked quietly and looked back at his childhood friend.

Yunhyeong’s uncertainty was clear on his face as he contemplated on whether to tell Junhoe or not. The story was something that Junhoe should know about as iKON’s bodyguard, but it didn’t feel right for him to tell. Not at that moment at least.

“Sorry, it’s a story that I prefer the members themselves to explain. Plus, I have to rush. I’m still in the middle of planning their schedule.”

And with that, Yunhyeong left Junhoe to ponder about the tragedy unspoken of.

…

_“I’m s-so sorry…” Sob. “I-I’m so sorry… s-s-sorry-”_

_“It’s alright, hyung. We’ll get out of this, trust me.”_

_The sobs started to get louder..._

_He was crying._

_The door creaked open._

_“Oh, why is my beautiful prince crying~?”_

_Two men stilled._

_One of them wanted to scream._

…

Jinhwan screamed, but only in his head. His eyes glued to a thread poking out of his sweatshirt as he rolled it between his fingers absentmindedly. His body looked soulless while it sunk into the couch.

Flashbacks happened often, but suddenly it felt so real. He tensed up when he felt fingers brushing across his nape. He imagined slender, cold fingers crowned with long, pointed fingernails dragging against his skin, but that wasn’t what he felt somehow.

The present fingers felt slightly rougher- slightly callused maybe- and they were warm and gentle, no deadly trimmings, no signs of possessiveness. They caressed his freshly-showered skin and played with the ends of his damp hair. Something familiar… Jinhwan snapped out and looked up.

“Junhoe?” Jinhwan voiced out and the other male quickly retracted his hand, the same thing that suddenly happened a number of times before.

“Ah, sorry,” Junhoe mumbled then folded his arms over his chest, putting on an unreadable expression.

“Junhoe, I’m your hyung. Don’t you think you’re touching a little too much?” Jinhwan scolded, and for a while, he acted like the Kim Jinhwan he always was.

“Yeah, sorry. You’re just-...” _so cute?_

“-always spacing out, so I thought I’d test out the minimum effort needed for you to snap out. Just… bodyguard things, you know.”

Jinhwan blinked at the younger’s ridiculousness.

“Why my neck though?” He asked, just because he could.

Junhoe shrugged. “Just felt like it.”

He really hoped that his cheeks weren’t as red as he felt them to be, and he hoped that the wild thumping in his chest was inaudible to Jinhwan’s ears.

Jinhwan sighed and shook his head. “Alright, whatever. Just stop doing that, it's weird. I’m going to go to bed. Good night, June-yah.”

“Mm, night hyung,” Junhoe replied as he watched Jinhwan get up and enter his room.

When Junhoe was alone, he gave himself a hard facepalm. “Ah, what’s wrong with me?” He mumbled before setting off for his own room. His usual mental-slapping technique was losing its effectiveness and now Junhoe was struggling with his own stupidity. He decided that maybe sleeping it off would work.

It didn’t really work for the past nights though.

…

In Jinhwan’s room, the guy laid on his side in bed as he rubbed at his nape, feeling a lasting warmth. He let his eyes flutter close and allowed his memory to focus on how Junhoe’s tender touches felt.

Warm, gentle and comforting… did he really want it to stop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is gonna be great, I promise y'all that. *eyebrow waggles*
> 
>  
> 
> And no, nothing weird btw. lol


	7. Taking Flights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the mightiest have their own fears.

The airport was in havoc.

That’s how Junhoe would describe it.

He didn’t get how fans just knew where iKON would be and he didn’t understand how there were hundreds of them that could appear out of nowhere, as if they had been camping out in the airport waiting for any signs of their favorite celebrities.

The iKON members were on their way to another state to settle some things, and the best and supposedly safest way to travel was by plane.

Junhoe didn’t like the idea of traveling on an airplane. Being thousands of feet above the solid ground gave him chills, and they crawled up his spine just for the pleasure of making him shiver.

Heights. He hated them.

He didn’t show any signs of how he felt though. Junhoe was a bodyguard, and if anything he should be the bravest among the group of people he was traveling with. He had to stand strong because if he was weak, how would the weaker depend on him?

...

“June, I want to get a drink.”

The crowd had cleared moments ago and the members and crew were waiting for their call to board the plane.

Hanbin was standing with his thick jacket hugging his body, his mask over his mouth and a beanie fitted a little lopsided on his head. He had his arms crossed over himself and he tapped the floor with his shoe, feigning impatience.

Hanbin watched as Junhoe’s eyes flickered up to his face. Junhoe didn’t budge.

“Yah, did you not hear me?” Hanbin asked, his voice tinted with annoyance.

Junhoe sighed. He was a little tired. Actually, really tired. Not only physically but mentally as well since he had to do a lot of researching, driving... and dealing with people. Junhoe wasn’t a people person and never been since he was little and now he wondered why on earth he chose to be a bodyguard. A bodyguard’s job _surrounded_ people.

Hanbin tilted his head in question when Junhoe dug into the pocket of his pants. When he pulled something out, Hanbin realized it was his wallet.

“Yaaah, I said _I_ want to get a drink! I’m using my own money!”

Junhoe blinked in attempts to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Oh.” He slipped his wallet back to where it belonged.

“You’re quite sloppy for a bodyguard,” Hanbin complained, eyebrows furrowed as his eyes put Junhoe under scrutiny.

“Well maybe if you treat me professionally, or at least like a person, I wouldn’t have to think twice before helping you out,” Junhoe snapped.

Hanbin screwed his mouth shut. He was taken aback because Junhoe was actually capable of talking back, unlike his usual nonchalant demeanor. Hanbin knew Junhoe was human, and that he had feelings. It’s just... 

Hanbin couldn’t even explain it himself anymore.

Junhoe noticed Hanbin’s stunned reaction and sighed heavily, hand reaching up to ruffle his own hair. He was beat and Hanbin wasn’t helping, but that didn’t excuse him to be unprofessional himself. The fact that his fear of heights was bothering him added to his discomfort.

“Sorry,” the younger said as he bowed down with the apology. “That was very rude of me, Hanbin-nim.”

Hanbin stared at him wordlessly for a while before he threw his gaze to the floor.

“Whatever, let’s go already,” he mumbled before readjusting the mask on his face.

Junhoe looked over his shoulder to check on the other two band members, making sure they stuck with manager Yunhyeong and the crew before he walked off with Hanbin. The entire walk was quiet, spare a few short words for directions and such.

“Choose something.”

“Huh?”

Hanbin sighed and looked up at Junhoe, not exactly meeting the other’s eyes though.

“I’m buying you a drink. Go and choose something from the menu,” he clarified.

“That’s unne-”

“Shut up and choose something,” Hanbin insisted. He wanted to make it up to Junhoe for the inconsiderate treatment. He could have used better words, but everything felt awkward at that moment. He wasn’t about to go for a 360-degree turn all of the sudden.

“Uh…” Junhoe’s eyes scanned across the glowing menu that hung above the stall and chose something safe.

“A latte.”

“Just a latte?”

“Mm, caramel latte.”

After a short exchange with the barista and a little waiting, the two started their journey back to the others with two warm cups in possession. Hanbin reached into the plastic bag he was holding and pulled out Junhoe’s beverage.

“Here,” he handed Junhoe the cup.

“Thank you, Hanbin-nim.”

A few minutes passed while the two men sipped from their cups, the chatter of the passersby being the only thing that filled the silence.

“You can call me hyung, by the way,” Hanbin suddenly said softly, lips hidden behind his cup.

Maybe it was time for him to stop being an asshole to Junhoe? It was getting boring anyway, he told himself.

Junhoe side-glanced at Hanbin and nodded even if the other couldn’t see.

“Thanks... hyung.”

…

“Bin, how could you go buy drinks without us? You didn’t even get us anything!” Bobby grumbled when the two finally returned. He threw an arm over Hanbin’s shoulders and shook him while he whined, Hanbin struggling to make sure his drink didn’t spill or fling out of his hand.

“I don’t have that much money with me right now,” Hanbin said with a frown.

“Is that mocha? Can I have some?” Bobby asked, hands already reaching for Hanbin’s cup.

“No!” Hanbin stretched his arm as far as he could away from Bobby and Bobby didn’t stop blabbering on how mean and stingy Hanbin was.

“Do you like caramel latte, hyung? You can have some of mine,” Junhoe spoke, cup in hand held up to the other. It wasn’t their first time sharing drinks, and Bobby had been the most generous hyung to him so he didn’t see why he shouldn’t offer.

Bobby looked at the cup for a while, feeling a little hesitant. Hanbin noticed this and he raised an eyebrow, but didn’t ask about it.

“Yeah, go drink his. This is _mine_. Junhoe’s is also technically _mine_ , so I’ll let you drink that.”

Bobby let out a short puff of laughter to cover up and took Junhoe’s cup. “Will do!”

Bobby found that his lips settled a little longer on the rim of the cup than necessary before he took a few sips. _‘Junhoe drank from here too…’_ He thought, and that thought made his cheeks warm.

“Ah, it’s really good… Thanks, June-yah! You are _so kind_ ,” he said, pressing on the ‘so kind’ part to be directed to Hanbin. Hanbin scowled and rolled his eyes.

Jinhwan, who had been with their manager the whole time, finally decided to join them.

“Can I have some too?” He asked softly, voice frail.

His whole stature was tucked into himself, maybe not visibly but his aura felt that way. His eyes tend to flicker around, as if searching for any signs of danger. Jinhwan wasn’t comfortable with being at the airport, but he kept his head low and his gaze lower and tried to calm himself nonetheless.

Bobby cocked a brow at Junhoe which earned him a nod, so he passed the cup to Jinhwan. Jinhwan drank quietly and when he was done, he sighed softly, content.

“I love caramel latte…” He mumbled more to himself before handing the cup back to Bobby, who gave it to Junhoe.

Junhoe nodded, keeping that information as a mental note, then drank his beverage, making sure his lips touched exactly where Jinhwan’s did, a little off to the side from Bobby’s spot. His drink tasted sweeter suddenly.

_‘Maybe they didn’t mix it well…’_

…

Junhoe’s knuckles were white as he clenched onto the armrest of his seat.

 _‘You’ll be okay, he said. Just don’t look out the window, he said.’_ Junhoe remembered Yunhyeong’s useless words.

Junhoe didn’t even take a glance out the window. Okay, maybe just a little, but that was when they were still on land. Either way, Junhoe _felt it_ when the plane took off, he _felt it_ as the ground became further to reach, he _felt it_ when the plane was up in the air and not going back down any sooner.

“June-yah, are you okay?” A small voice asked right next to him. It was Jinhwan.

Since there were three members, the third member had to sit with Junhoe. Hanbin wasn’t ready for that, and Bobby chose to stay with Hanbin because a prolonged closeness to Junhoe might make him do things he would regret.

That left Junhoe with Jinhwan, but Junhoe would really prefer Bobby at that moment. He needed the guy’s energy to distract him from his own worries.

“Y-Yeah,” Junhoe stuttered, which instantly denied his own words.

“Let me guess, you’re scared of heights?” Junhoe’s wry smile confirmed it.

Now that Jinhwan thought about it, Junhoe had some caffeine before the flight. That probably made things worse.

Jinhwan looked around for anything to help the younger with. When he saw his tablet in the net of his unzipped bag, he quickly reached for it and pulled it out.

“Wanna watch a movie? Oh… I only have romance ones though…” Jinhwan muttered shyly, mostly because he knew not many guys watched romance movies. They were cheesy and some were cliche, so it made sense if Junhoe wasn't fond of the offer.

“Ah, don’t worry, I always watch romance movies. They’re my kinda thing,” Junhoe said unashamed, the breathlessness slowly giving way to steady speech. Jinhwan was surprised when he heard Junhoe's response. He would never have thought someone as stone-faced and unaffected as Junhoe would ever get close to liking such a genre.

“Same here.” Jinhwan smiled, then he scrolled down the list of movies he had and selected one. Junhoe’s look of interest told Jinhwan that he made a good choice, so he tapped on the play button. Junhoe leaned closer to Jinhwan so he could see better, but Jinhwan moved at the same time, so they bumped their heads.

“Ow.”

“Sorry, hyung! Why don’t we just… stay like this,” Junhoe mumbled as he guided Jinhwan by the arm to lean on Junhoe’s shoulder, and Junhoe rested his cheek on Jinhwan’s head.

Okay, there were probably better ways for two people to watch a movie comfortably but Junhoe couldn’t possibly pass up the chance to do that. Little did he know Jinhwan’s heart was beating just as rapidly as his was.

The two watched the movie with partial focus- both paying silent attention to one another from time to time- and by the end of it they were both sleepy, the mild turbulence making them drowsy.

Junhoe was out first, chest heaving smoothly as he was lulled by the comforting scent of Jinhwan, sleeping soundly as if there was no fear in the world.

Jinhwan fell asleep soon after, head tucked into the inviting crook of a neck and his hand placed on a larger one. Warm, gentle, comforting...

Jinhwan hoped that he would be the one to wake up first.

Gladly, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions or want to comment, please do so.  
> Feedback is one of the most important things in improving one's skill...
> 
> that's what I believe at least :D
> 
> Thank you to all those who have stayed up to date with my uploads!  
> I must say, the chapters are slowly getting longer and longer as I type their drafts.  
> Ah well, see you all in the next update!


	8. Tipsy Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drunken state isn't the best state  
> Also, Junhoe and hot bars :D

“Just how many hot bars have you eaten today?” Hanbin asked, ready to scold the bodyguard who sat comfortably in his cheap plastic chair. The man had been sitting there diligently working on tearing hot bars right off their sticks while he stared off soullessly into the distance.

Junhoe looked up, cheeks stuffed with his favorite snack as he shrugged.

“I lost track. Too busy eating,” he said after swallowing the mouthful, just to take in another.

Hanbin wasn’t sure if he was amused or disturbed, but the scene was dubbed as hilarious.

A hairstylist worked intently on fixing Hanbin’s hair in a way that would make him look unmistakably charming for his fans, hair pulled back with its natural color. Hanbin liked that the most. There was no bleaching, dyeing or excessive use of hair products needed.

Hanbin scowled, giving Junhoe the judgmental look. When his hairstylist moved away for a moment, he used the chance to reach out and pat Junhoe on his hot bar-filled cheek.

“Pig.”

Junhoe returned Hanbin’s scowl with one of his own.

“You’re just jealous because I can eat whatever, whenever I want,” Junhoe pointed out as he flailed his bitten hot bar and his brows waggled.

“Excuse you, I can-”

“Hanbin-ssi, please sit back down so I can do your makeup.”

Hanbin pouted and Junhoe nearly choked on his food when he laughed. That of course earned him a glare from Hanbin.

“When were they ever that friendly? That _is_ friendly, right? I can't believe it. It’s like it happened overnight,” Bobby said as he watched the exchange before him with disbelief.

He was already prepped up for the stage, sporting his own pulled-back hairstyle that was set in place with hair gel. He wore torn black jeans and a white shirt, the look completed with a rugged olive jacket and silver dog tags.

“Beats me,” Jinhwan replied as he fixed the choker around his neck, fidgeting with the elastic material that was a little too tight for comfort.

Jinhwan did notice the change of interaction between the 'cat and dog' of their apartment. They still acted like they were going for each other’s necks, but now it felt more intimate. Snaps and dissing turned into good-willed slaps and banter on Hanbin’s part. Junhoe didn’t try to avoid Hanbin anymore too.

Jinhwan realized how he was the only one who was still marginally awkward with Junhoe. He couldn't help it though. Every word from the taller male was as if amplified just in his ears, every touch exchanged felt like fire, and it was all in his head. He was always hyper-aware if Junhoe was anywhere close to him as well.

To bond, they did have a thing in common which was their tastes in movies, but that wasn’t enough. He couldn’t think of any way to use that to his advantage now that his schedule was packed with all sorts.

Jinhwan really didn’t get why he was stressing over this, but he was.

Jinhwan realized he spaced out, again, but he was staring at Junhoe the whole time and Junhoe was laughing at him.

“Hungry, hyung?”

 _‘Maybe…’_ Jinhwan blinked and shook his head. “Nah-”

“Alright, is everyone done? Go head backstage and standby, your queue is coming up soon,” manager Yunhyeong said as he rushed into the room. Just like that, Jinhwan’s interaction with Junhoe ended, much to Jinhwan’s chagrin.

Hanbin, all ready for the stage, stood up with a bursting spirit. “Alright, let’s own this!”

Jinhwan pushed everything between him and his bodyguard to the back of his mind. It was time to focus. Focus on the song, on the performance, on the cameras and the... _fans._ For his bandmates, he was ready.

Grouping up, each member had their hearts beating rapidly in their chests.

“iKON, get ready-”

“-IT’S SHOWTIME!”

…  
 _  
The cheers._

_The fanchants._

_The lightsticks._

_The screams._

_They were worth every hour practicing._

_They were worth every sweat dropped._

_They were worth every sleepless night._

_Jinhwan wished that this bliss could last forever._

_If only the little voice inside of him would quit reminding him that he was scared.  
_  
…

“A toast to our successful performance and official comeback!”

The air was filled with the sounds of cheering and glass clinking.

The members, the production team and the staff were all having a great time. Food was eaten up, glasses and bottles were emptied and many started to have a little flush of red on their skin.

Junhoe was careful, he didn’t take too many shots. He had to drive the members home and always stay alert to protect them. Actually, he didn’t even want to join the drinking, but then Yunhyeong pulled him in and it was rude to decline, or something.

When the small party was wrapped up and all the members got into the car, Junhoe wished he prepared himself more for what was about to happen.

“June-yah~” Bobby sing-songed from the backseat.

“Hm?”

“I’ve seen a lot of pictures of you and you are really handsome~!”

Junhoe almost choked on his spit.

“You are so handsome~” Bobby giggled, a mix of tired, drunk and sleepy fogging his senses.

“Yes, thank you,” Junhoe replied. He had to say something right? “I know that already,” he added with a smirk, trying to play it off cool.

“June-yah, your hair always looks good even though you don’t do anything to it… That’s unfair,” Bobby started whine.

His hands were restless but they couldn’t move due to Hanbin clinging onto his arm. Hanbin was a whole new level clingy when he was drunk, Junhoe noted, because he was clinging strongly even when he was half-asleep.

“I’m your biggest fan, June-yah~ When you were walking around in a suit for the first time, you looked fantastic. I have been a fan of yours ever since!”

Junhoe was cringing so bad that he struggled to focus on the road. It was a dangerous situation, so he had to fan every weird feeling off of him. Bobby was being too much. Junhoe was everything about flustered and uncomfortable at that moment.

Jinhwan was silent throughout the whole journey, gaze thrown out the window as he listened from the passenger seat.

Jinhwan knew Bobby. He knew that Bobby became an honest-drunk when he took too much alcohol. If what Bobby was saying was true about his thoughts on Junhoe, would that make both Jinhwan and Bobby have a thing for Junhoe?

So he wasn’t the only one?

…

“Tuck me into bed too, June…” Drunk Bobby pleaded from the doorway.

At that moment Junhoe had just sat up from laying Hanbin down on his bed and pulling the covers over him. He made sure Hanbin was sleeping on his side and secured before turning towards Bobby.

“Bobby-hyung, I’m sure you can do that yourself,” Junhoe said and frowned. His mind raced with hundreds of possible scenarios that could play out if he helped Bobby, some of which included physical assault from either one of them.

“It’s okay, June. I’ll take him to his room,” Jinhwan offered when he dropped by, hair damp from a recent shower, and took Bobby by the hand, efficiently dragging the drunken boy away. He had to get Bobby away from Junhoe... so that Junhoe wouldn’t suffer, he told himself.

Junhoe just laughed quietly at the members’ antics and left the room so that Hanbin could sleep. Trusting Bobby with Jinhwan, he decided that it was time to take a shower.

The feeling of warm water against his skin after a cold night made him shiver with pleasure. He quietly sang the chorus part of iKON’s song ‘Beautiful’ as he washed his hair, the mere thought of washing away all the stickiness on his skin making him content.

When he stepped out, already in a new change of clothes, he found Jinhwan sitting at their little coffee table with a glass of water. Jinhwan was good at holding his alcohol, so he was barely in a drunk state.

“Jinhwan-hyung, you’re not going to sleep?” Junhoe asked as he patted his hair dry.

Jinhwan tapped nervously on his glass while thinking of how to word the things in his head.

“I just can’t sleep really… Um, are you heading to bed now?” Jinhwan asked, eyes not meeting Junhoe’s as he watched the water ripples in his glass.

Junhoe _could_ say that he wanted to rest, but maybe Jinhwan needed something, or someone.

“No, not really. It takes a while for me to sleep if I just showered,” he said instead.

Jinhwan looked up and smiled a little. “Do you want to watch a movie in my room then?”

Junhoe was taken off guard by Jinhwan’s sudden invitation but, “Sure, why not?” Because really, why not? Plus, maybe Jinhwan needed someone with him for that night? Junhoe had yet to learn how the members behaved after a night of drinking.

Jinhwan ushered Junhoe into his room and onto the bed, him climbing in afterwards. He reached for his laptop that was perched on his side-table and worked on getting a movie started. It wasn’t hard to find an agreement in movie choice. Junhoe was more than approving to any choice of movie Jinhwan suggested.

“I’ve only ever watched this movie halfway. I always fall asleep unwillingly,” Jinhwan stated as the movie started. Junhoe grinned.

“Does that mean that it’s not good then?”

“No, it’s good! It’s really good, no doubt. I just… couldn’t stay awake. I want to watch it until the end now,” Jinhwan said as he burrowed himself into the soft material of his pillows. Junhoe followed in suit, settling in right next to Jinhwan.

Jinhwan felt a little awkward, but Junhoe looked fine. Actually, Junhoe was rather comfortable in the older’s presence. It was only Jinhwan that felt a little warmer than usual. Whether the warmth was from Junhoe or himself, he wasn’t sure.

Jinhwan wasn’t really drunk, but the fact that he was getting sleepy took his better thinking away. Halfway through the movie, he leaned over to rest his head on Junhoe’s shoulder. This brought Junhoe’s attention away from the screen and onto the cute figure growing sleepy against his side.

“Hyung?”

“I don’t think I’ll make it…” Jinhwan groaned before his mouth stretched open for a yawn, letting out a small whine right after. At that scene, warmth filled Junhoe's chest.

“Well, we can continue some other time. No worries,” Junhoe said. Jinhwan was too sleepy to protest when Junhoe paused the movie and closed the laptop flap. Though hesitant, Junhoe forced himself to pull away from Jinhwan, and Jinhwan grumbled faintly from the loss of heat.

Junhoe got up, helped rearrange Jinhwan’s pillows while the other lousily rolled himself onto them. Then, Junhoe pulled the covers up and tucked it right under Jinhwan's chin. His face was the only thing that would be seen.

“Thanks, June. Good night.”

Junhoe smiled softly. “Night night... Jinanie.”

Jinhwan didn’t notice the nickname. He was already drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for not updating last week.  
> I had camp so yeah, it was fun. I'm back now though so yeay?  
> (but exams are around the corner asdfghjkl)


	9. Fears Unraveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bodyguard learns the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DINGDINGDING!  
> Warning~
> 
> This chapter, and the next, will be a little intense, so be prepared.  
> Nothing too bad really coz I'm not that good at writing these kinda scenes xD
> 
> These chapters are out now to make up for last week and my possible hiatus  
> Sorry in advance!

iKON’s fanmeeting was scheduled next week.

That was announced almost a week ago.

The next day was the day of the fanmeeting and Jinhwan was none other than restless.

Sure, he saw his fans during every single comeback stage he had to perform in. Sure, there was some communication between him and his fans. But fan meetings? He was about to interact with them _up close._

Hanbin predicted that Jinhwan wouldn't be alright with it for awhile now, so he made sure to keep Jinhwan busy throughout the day. He brought Jinhwan to the gym, dragged him over to play tons of video games, forced Bobby out of the kitchen so that they could try and fail at cooking meals and binge watch many new drama series online. Jinhwan got tired and complained at now and then, but Hanbin forced the eldest member to join him anyway.

It definitely worked, but that plan could only last throughout the day, not the night.

Junhoe woke up to the faint sounds of movement, mind quickly deciphering them as the sounds of a door opening and closing, rushed footsteps, a light switch being flicked and the drag of a chair. He guessed that they were coming from the kitchen, noticing how near the sounds were and which direction they generally came from. Alerted, he shot out of bed and threw on a shirt before rushing out, trying to keep his actions silent at the same time.

He could hear quiet shuffling now undoubtedly coming from the kitchen. He held his breath and tiptoed over to the area then peered in, trying to catch any sign of the possible intruder. Even though he just woke up, he was trying his best to be ready for the worst.

He didn’t expect to find Jinhwan there. Not only that, but Jinhwan was crying.

Junhoe's intense gaze softened almost immediately and his defensive stance relaxed. He still held his breath however, because he wasn't sure if he should approach Jinhwan in that state or not. Usually those who cry when others are asleep do so for privacy, for secrecy. Junhoe knew that, but that also meant he knew well enough that Jinhwan was struggling with something. 

Without managing to settle for a verdict, Junhoe's feet padded carefully towards Jinhwan.

“Jinhwan-hyung? Did something happen?” Junhoe asked as he moved to where Jinhwan was, approaching slowly, unsure.

“J-June!” Jinhwan exclaimed in his startle and ducked to cover his tear-stained face. “Go away," he instructed sternly, but his own voice betrayed him when it cracked.

Junhoe raised a brow instead of obeying, of course. How could he ever leave his client alone and crying?

Okay, scrap that. How could he ever leave _Jinhwan_ alone and crying?

“No, you’re crying. What’s wrong?” He persisted as he proceeded and stood behind Jinhwan who was slumped over the counter. His face was puffy and red while the ends of his fringe clung to his skin that was damp from tears. He was a mess. The last thing he wanted was for Junhoe to see him like that. Oh how luck wasn't on his side.

“I-it’s nothing… G-go back to sleep,” Jinhwan said between sobs. He felt embarrassed. Everything was already going well. Jinhwan had been his charming self throughout most of the comeback activities. He was sure that Junhoe had forgotten about his frailty, but now that was all down the drain.

“Jinanie…” Came the deep yet soft voice that whispered right beside Jinhwan’s ear.

_‘Shit.’_

Jinhwan couldn’t push Junhoe away now, not when Junhoe used that name. The private name that only the two of them knew, the one that was only ever uttered when they were alone. It screamed fondness and made Jinhwan’s heart swell.

For the situation they were in, however, the name broke his every sense of control. He cried.

“I’m scared,” Jinhwan managed to mutter under his shaky breath. His hands were cupped firmly against his face, both hiding his eyes from Junhoe and hiding Junhoe from his eyes at the same time. The reality that had Junhoe witnessing him cry like a child made his stomach knot.

“Of?” Junhoe asked with an eyebrow quirked. He panicked on the inside, not expecting Jinhwan to burst out in more tears. Looking for what to do, he moved to pull out a stool next to Jinhwan so he could sit and scooted closer. No matter how awkward he was with comforting someone, he was ready to listen to whatever it was that Jinhwan had to say.

“The fan meeting… There will be so many people. And they will be so close,” Jinhwan spoke daintily, almost like a dejected child. He tried to rub his eyes, forcing the tears to stop but to no avail, he couldn't stop shaking too.

“Ah, but hyung, you’ve been doing well in all your past fan meetings. Yunhyeong told me. I’m sure you’ll do just as well this time,” Junhoe tried to comfort, a hand placed gingerly against Jinhwan’s back to let Jinhwan know that he was there for him.

Junhoe couldn’t say that he was good at comforting or consoling, so everything he was doing was just his own implementation of what his mother used to do to him when he had bad days or fears to face.

“T-that’s not it, June… I-I’m scared of the f-fans.” Jinhwan breathed in stuttered breaths to tune down his sobbing, feeling like suffocating in the process. His hands dropped down to his lap but his eyes were still screwed shut. His face was a mess of tears and snot, but none of it bothered Junhoe in the slightest.

Junhoe moved to get a little closer to Jinhwan, the hand that originally situated on the older’s back slid over to his shoulder then down his arm, ending at his moistened hand.

“I don’t understand...” Junhoe whispered, and he was sure that the furrow of his eyebrows claimed the truth to his words.

Jinhwan finally chose to look up at Junhoe with tired eyes, the glassy surface reflecting the fragility of his spirit. It was about time he told Junhoe, and Junhoe had proven long enough that he knew nothing of his mistake; the mistake that changed him.

…

“Ah, this is insane! I didn’t think it will be this way even after debuting. Yeah, artists have more things in schedule, but this is fucking nuts!” Hanbin yelled in frustration as he hurled his tainted cap onto the floor. What used to be his most prized possession became a piece of rubbish.

Bobby’s eyes were narrow as he glared at Hanbin, mostly because Hanbin was being a pain in the ass above all other pains in the ass.

“Bin, we already knew this would happen, didn’t we? What do you think you’re complaining about? Just fucking shut up already,” Bobby hissed, chest puffed out as a statement that he wasn’t up for any retorts.

But this is irritated Hanbin we’re talking about. He was fists up and ready with retorts.

Jinhwan sighed and ran his finger through his hair, tucking away the bothersome strands from his face. He was the only calm- or at least the calmest one- out of the three, but he could tell that the heated situation was getting dire.

“Enough, you two. We don’t need this!” Jinhwan voiced out, abruptly moving into the space between the other two to prevent any swinging knuckles.

They stopped, breaking their challenging stares and Bobby just clicked his tongue. He strode off to his room to fetch a towel before he barged into the bathroom for a shower. He took a long one- which annoyed Hanbin- just so that he could somehow wash away the mounds of stress in his head.

Hanbin had left for his room and slammed the door behind him when Bobby fled, and that left Jinhwan all on his own standing like a sagging scarecrow in the middle of the hallway.

Instead of running into his own room, he lumbered over to the couch and dropped his weight with a bounce, groaning in frustration as he stuffed his face into his hands.

Bickering was normal, and so were bad days. Despite that, they were becoming more frequent and Jinhwan wasn’t sure how long he could last before he snapped too. The stress was unreal. The rookie group had to push so hard before they could even get a name.

Jinhwan knew that they had to go through it anyway. It was too late to back down. All of their efforts since the auditions to trainee days would have gone to waste if they all quit then.

As the eldest band member, he took up the responsibility of holding his group together. On the couch he laid his fatigued body, thinking of what he could do to make things better. To cheer them up, to calm their nerves and to distract them.

Bobby joined him shortly after his shower, looking like he already toned down whatever had him caught up earlier. He didn’t say anything though. He only pulled out his phone and started to scroll through his social medias. He focused on nothing in particular, just finding the little gags of the internet to hopefully brighten his stagnant mood.

In the meantime, Jinhwan’s mind kept working.

Hanbin exited his room with a bland expression, going straight for his one task which was to take a shower so that he could crash into bed without feeling disgusted of himself. He opened the door and landed a foot into the tiled bathroom.

That was when Jinhwan suddenly spoke up.

“Let’s go out for some drinks.”

Hanbin stopped in his tracks and Bobby looked up from his phone. The suggestion remained in the air as the younger two exchanged glances, no particular message in the wordless communication.

“Hell yeah to that.”

...

Hanbin didn’t really think his agreement through. He only noticed that when he found himself sneaking out of the apartment late at night, clearly breaking the rules of the company, with his two hyungs following close behind.

 _‘Just one night wouldn’t hurt,’_ he told himself. Jinhwan thought the same thing.

Jinhwan knew what they were doing wasn’t right but he was desperate to get some time off, to be as free as the members wanted to be. He wanted them to loosen up and break out from their merciless schedule.

He wanted to breathe again, even if the air was slightly tainted with cigarette smoke.

In the bar the three members cheered, bottles of soju poured into shot glasses and downed with no care in the world. They babbled, cheered and sang loudly as the alcohol started to seep into their brains, clouding up the mess in their heads along with their rationality.

They couldn’t be any less aware of their surroundings, of the displeased glances that were thrown their way, of the mumbling from the crowd that had the trio as their main subject.

Moreover, they didn’t notice the eyes that were pinned towards their direction. The eyes that were sharp, patient and observant. The eyes that had followed them since they left the safety of their apartment. The eyes that placed rightfully atop an eerie grin.

The eyes that just loved to flicker back to the beautiful Kim Jinhwan.

Jinhwan raised his glass again, announcing his umpteenth drink.

He knew he was going to regret that night, but he didn’t know that he was about to regret it so much more.


	10. Possessive Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BOBBY! D:

Jinhwan’s forehead creased in the slightest as he shifted his sleeping position, his head grazing against an unfamiliar material. It felt soft like what a pillow should be, but it was a little too soft for his everyday-pillow. It smelt fresh, unlike the one he used for months ever since moving into the apartment. The mattress underneath him felt different as well. Instead of a normal, flat-faced mattress, he could feel the bumps of what he recognizes as a spinal care type of mattress.

Jinhwan groaned quietly and cracked an eye open to a room of pitch-black. There was no light peeking through the partially translucent curtains like how there always was. It was darker than usual, save for a sliver of light that passed through the narrow space beneath the door.

The door that was somehow situated in a different place.

Eyebrows furrowed with a growing confusion, Jinhwan made a move to sit up. He only managed to flip himself over before he felt something restricting his hands from parting far from each other.

 _That's weird... why can't I move?'_ Jinhwan tried to think but his head ached from a slight hangover.

About a minute later after painful thinking, he noticed the rough texture of rope rubbing sore spots into his skin. He tugged at his hands again but they couldn't. Jinhwan began to panic.

“W-what?” He stuttered with a voice still groggy from both sleep and alcohol.

Every attempt to push himself up into a sitting position failed, and the panic did nothing but rise higher. He threshed a little harder and even tried moving his other limbs, but his legs were as good as immobile; tied down.

Jinhwan's heart rate increased almost instantly. The first thing he did after that was call out for his band mates; his brothers.

“Hanbin? Bobby? Guys!” He shouted out frantically as his eyes shot around the room he didn’t recognize as his own or his friends’. He wriggled on the bed as if he was a worm under scorching heat, tossing and turning pointlessly.

“You’re awake, honey~?”

Jinhwan’s heart nearly stopped when he heard a smooth voice from outside, calling him a name no one ever did with a voice no one he ever knew used.

The door creaked open and bright lights shone into the room. Jinhwan flinched and blinked rapidly, adjusting his eyes to the sudden sharp brightness that attacked him with a headache. His face scrunched up to accurately portray the agony. When he refocused, the first thing that caught his attention was the layout of the room that had never met his eyes before. Instead of his simplistic room filled with basic amenities, that room he was in was a fancy, expensive-looking one.

The bed he was on had an elegantly metal-casted frame, the bed sheets that covered the soft mattress with small, floral patterns on them. There was a huge wardrobe with sliding panels in the corner of the room. A matching makeup table was placed right beside it. The curtains were thick and high in quality, nothing like the cloth Jinhwan used as his own curtains. The most outstanding feature was that the walls and most of the furniture were colored a pristine white.

Jinhwan already found it hard to process only that. Then, he realized that he was only in his underwear, leaving the rest of his body bare and exposed.

“Did you sleep well, my prince?” Came the coos from the same entity earlier. The voice sounded as sweet as honey, but something about it triggered a cold sweat. Jinhwan looked up and his stomach clenched when he was greeted with what could’ve been a sweet face, if it wasn’t for the creepy smile and thick makeup that was plastered all over.

Jinhwan didn’t answer. His lungs were clogged and his heart was beating in his throat. That displeased the awaiting woman hovering over him, but her smiled didn’t break in the least. She giggled instead, hand up to cover her mouth like how some women from the Victorian era would do.

“Speechless? Don’t worry, I was too when I watched you sleep peacefully on our bed.”

_‘Our bed?’_

“You are so beautiful, Jinhwan-oppa… I’ve been your fan for such a long time, I've loved you so much! I'm so glad I've been patient, because now we’re finally together!” She cheered and clapped her hands with glee, the overwhelming fear pulsating in Jinhwan going unnoticed to her eyes. She slid a finger down Jinhwan’s jawline, and the shiver that came after wasn’t a pleasant one. It felt like frostbite.

“My my… you’re already sweating so much. Shall I get the bathtub ready? It’s big enough for the two of us~” She giggled again, the grin stretching wider on her twisted face.

The woman leaned over and lowered her head to give Jinhwan a big smooch on his petite lips, but Jinhwan was quick to avoid it by turning to the side. His knees were shaking and he was about to be hyperventilate.

“Aw, that’s not nice… Let me kiss you!” She yelled, the smooth tone from before suddenly boomed with anger, yet somehow her grin never faltered.

She reached over and clutched Jinhwan by his cheeks and pulled so that he faced her, giggling hysterically in the process. Even though in extreme fear, Jinhwan still fought back, but she was inhumanly strong. She pounced, about to smash her undeserving lips against the other trembling pair.

“Jinhwan!”

The woman suddenly screamed, her body thrown off to the side and it rolled off the bed.

Jinhwan wanted to cry when he saw Bobby standing in her place. But he felt so for two reasons which are relief and worry. Bobby's body was full of bruises, cuts and scabs.

“B-...B-Bobby,” Jinhwan whispered, voice small and shaking.

Bobby, even with the fresh cut in his lip, pulled on a small reassuring smile and nodded. He was about to help untie Jinhwan but a pair of hands grabbed him. Nails dug into his skin as he was pulled back.

“Don’t touch my Jinhwan!” The lunatic screeched, throwing herself onto Bobby and beating him with all her strength. At that moment Bobby was thankful that he worked his build, because he used the load of muscle he had to hurl the woman to the other side of the room. The nail marks were nothing to him when his mind was focused on getting his hyung to safety.

Acting quick, Bobby scampered back to Jinhwan and worked on undoing his binds. The rope was strong but knots weren’t tied in a properly secured way, so it was easy for Bobby to pick on them until the ends were pulled loose and Jinhwan was free.

Jinhwan rolled off the bed and stood up on shaky legs. His bare torso and legs weren’t any help in aiding his quivering nerves. Even with a well maintained body like Jinhwan's, he found himself slouching over and covering himself self-consciously. It was freezing too because of the air conditioner, but Jinhwan was still sweating buckets.

A shriek from the back had Bobby grabbing Jinhwan’s wrist and urgently tugging him out the door. Wobbly or not, they had to run for it. The two bolted down a long, dimly lit hall lined with doors that looked a little too similar to each other. Jinhwan put all his trust into Bobby, because he looked like he knew where he was going.

Meanwhile, Bobby’s eyes shot back and forth as he tried to figure out which door would lead to their escape. He had entered some of them while he was looking for the other members, so the ones he remembered were immediately crossed out on his list of possibilities.

“W-where’s H-Hanb-bin?” Jinhwan asked between pants. Jinhwan couldn't quite remember much of what happened the day before just yet, but he knew for sure that no matter what, they always stayed together, so when one of them was missing, Jinhwan worried.

“Don’t worry about him, we’ve got to find a way out,” Bobby said over his shoulder, and at that exact time when he looked back he saw an outraged banshee running after them. In her clutches was a small, black object; a handgun.

BANG!

Bobby hissed when a sharp pain stroke the outer side of his left thigh. It was so sudden he stumbled.

“Bobby!” Jinhwan exclaimed as he caught Bobby by the arm.

 _Bobby was shot._ Jinhwan’s heartbeats picked up by a hundred miles per hour.

Thankfully, the bullet only grazed Bobby’s skin, making a shallow cut. With the help of Jinhwan, he regained his footing and continued the run. He was limping, but he had no choice if death was the other option. Pain was something he could block out, or at least try to.

“COME BACK HERE!” The woman screamed from behind and took another shot, but her lack of experience with firearms was apparent when the shot missed by a huge distance.

“Shit, this isn’t safe,” Bobby spoke through gritted teeth. Fearing a more successful aim from their predator, Bobby took and abrupt turn and both him and Jinhwan barged into one of the many rooms to take cover.

After the door slammed close, the room was covered in darkness, similar to how the first room was like. Jinhwan and Bobby reached their hands out to feel their way around, bumping into things here and there, gaining their bearings. Finally, they both stuffed themselves into a bare corner of the room, crouching, hopelessly hiding.

For a while, the room was quiet, only the exhausted pants of beings in fear filled the air. Then, there was sobbing.

“T-this is all m-my fault. I can’t believe we’re kidnapped. T-this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t s-suggest it. I-I screwed up! I’m so sorry,” Jinhwan’s muffled crying was heard.

Bobby squinted, trying hard to find Jinhwan with his eyes. Without seeing, he could already tell how Jinhwan would look while crying. He had seen it. Hanbin had as well. And so Bobby knew how much he hated merely the image of it in his head.

“No, hyung. It’s our fault too. We should’ve known better,” Bobby replied, trying to keep his tone comforting while his heart still pounded.

“I’m s-so sorry…” Sob. “I-I’m so sorry… s-s-sorry-”

“It’s alright, hyung. We’ll get out of this, trust me.”

The sobs started to get louder. Jinhwan was crying, but as silently as one could cry their heart out.

Just then, the door creaked open. “Oh, why is my beautiful prince crying~?”

Bright LED lights were flicked on and Jinhwan felt like the light stabbed right through his chest, because his chest constricted from panic and fear.

Heels clicked as they drew closer, none of the men moved. Fearful eyes stared hard at the wooden floor. They didn't want to look up to the approaching reality.

“Now now, that wasn’t such a smart idea, was it, my love?” She asked, the slick black gun passed back and forth from one hand to another. When the woman walked to where Jinhwan was, she crouched down and smiled at him. Jinhwan cowered into the corner like a stray puppy.

“Please don’t do that again~” She murmured as she caressed Jinhwan’s nape slowly, but it wasn’t gentle or affectionate. It felt possessive, complete with polished nails scraping over the skin. Jinhwan flinched, a whine escaping from his dry lips.

“Don’t touch him!” Bobby warned from the side, brows furrowed and jaw tensed. Even with his injured leg, he looked ready to launch himself onto the woman.

The woman turned to Bobby and scowled, ugliness gracing her features. She raised her gun. “Now let’s shut you up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to edit the draft so much lol  
> The chapter was too short...
> 
> Omg it's still short asdsfghkfmaklsdfvr


	11. My Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mistakes exist for human to learn from them. They don’t define you, they make you stronger. They push you… so your choices are only two; fall over or step harder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How wise, Poet Junhoe...
> 
> Anyways, hey guys! Early updateee  
> Why? Two reasons. It's a special day today in my country aaand I've just reached 100 kudos for this piece! :D  
> I mean, it's a small thing but hey, thanks guys.
> 
> Now here you go. Something to soothe after the horrible last chapter! :'D

Bobby was at gunpoint. Jinhwan’s heart was about to explode.

The crazy woman’s finger slipped onto the trigger, preparing for a clean shot to the forehead.

“Oi!”

The woman stopped, her ugly face twisting to something that couldn’t get any uglier. She turned around to find a man standing at the doorway, and that man was equipped with a baseball bat.

“Hanbin,” Bobby gasped.

The woman stood up to full height and pulled at her long, frazzled hair frustratingly.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?” She roared.

Eyes frozen in glare, she lifted the gun to Hanbin’s direction.

“No!” Bobby yelled and tried to get up to stop her, but the pain in his thigh brought him back down.

Hanbin’s eyes were wide when the trigger was pulled, but God decided that he possessed luck on that day, and the metal bullet dove into the wooden material of his bat.

More angry than ever, the woman began pulling on the trigger mindlessly, but nothing came out. The soft clicks from the gun signalled that she was out of ammo.

Hanbin noticed that earlier than she could, so he acted fast, barreling towards her with his bat swung high.

Hanbin hadn’t exactly figured out whether hitting the woman in the head was a wise thing to do, so luck helped him out again. The woman tried to move out of the way and thus the bat hit her at the point between her neck and collarbones; a pressure point instead.

A small yelp was all there was before the woman fell unconscious, dropping to the floor. Hanbin only stared down in horror and prayed that he didn't actually kill the woman, because that would be one hell of a memory to bring with him until he grew old.

Hanbin blinked once before he turned to Bobby, then to Jinhwan’s crumpled, shaking figure.

“Let’s get out of here.”

…

The incident may have sounded like it ended well with little loss, but Jinhwan was nowhere near happy when he finished his little story-telling session.

“The company found out, and things were settled… B-but they don’t- no one can trust me anymore… I can’t trust myself anymore,” Jinhwan ended, which gave way for the tears and sobs to overtake him.

Even with his small size, Jinhwan had always been the pillar of strength and the voice of reason for his bandmates. Moreover, his aura always captivated the hearts of his audience and fans. However after the whole nightmare played out, his spirit shrunk.

His presence _felt_ small.

Junhoe was full on attentive as he listened to Jinhwan, a growing sense of protectiveness seeping into his chest, one that wasn’t just because he was a bodyguard and Jinhwan was his client.

“Jinanie...” Junhoe started off, unsure of how to really respond. He wasn’t sure what drove him, maybe his limbs moved by themselves, but Junhoe grabbed the leg of Jinhwan’s stool and pulled Jinhwan closer.

Jinhwan was surprised when he felt his stool moving, and when a pair of long arms wrapped around his figure and tugged him carefully to rest against Junhoe’s chest, he couldn’t help but tense amidst his shaking.

While a firm hand supported his back, a set of gentle fingers ran themselves through his mess of bronze hair, grazing lightly against his scalp. It felt good, comforting somehow.

Jinhwan didn’t notice when his crying stopped, but that same hand that stroked his hair came down to his wipe the remaining tears off of his face.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Junhoe murmured softly. His thumb began to caress Jinhwan’s cheek, brushing over the petite heart-shaped mole placed right under his eye. Junhoe felt the other slowly relax, and so he let out a silent breath.

“Mistakes exist for human to learn from them. They don’t define you, they make you stronger. They push you… so your choices are only two; fall over or step harder,” Junhoe continued, still watchful of the other’s reactions after every word.

The bodyguard wasn’t an all comforting type. He said what he had to, but in the best way he could. Unfortunately, not everyone was acceptant with that, and Junhoe was wary of making Jinhwan feel worse.

Jinhwan only shifted a little to hide his face further into the younger’s chest. He was quiet. He was listening.

“It’s never too late to choose, in my opinion. Plus, I don’t think you really lost anyone’s trust. They seem more worried because you’re being too hard on yourself. I know for a fact that Hanbin still trusts you, and Bobby definitely does too. So do the staff and manager Song. Hell, I pretty much trust you too and we haven’t even known each other for more than a month yet.”

Junhoe stopped, not because he was done but he was actually pondering whether the last part was suitable for a bodyguard to say to his client. It was too late though, the words were already out and he would’ve facepalmed himself if it wasn’t for his hand that was still busy playing with Jinhwan’s soft hair.

Jinhwan breathed slowly, steadily. He had felt all sorts throughout the week. Exhaustion, fear, doubt, regret, frustration, disappointment. Those elements became his daily themes at some point.

That somehow changed right at that moment when he sat in Junhoe’s arms. He was enveloped in a soothing warmth that was different from what his bandmates could give. A unique sense of security. He couldn’t describe why, really, but he found himself buried deep into Junhoe’s embrace and his fingers curled into Junhoe’s shirt.

Junhoe noted Jinhwan’s actions as him being the type who needed physical comfort, since he did about the same thing with his two friends. Even so, he couldn’t miss how Jinhwan fit him like a puzzle piece, naturally made to compliment his curves and edges, filling in the spaces where no other person could.

_‘Egh, brain, can you stop doing this?’_

Meanwhile, a door quietly opened without a single creak. Bobby tried his best not to wake anyone up with the sound of his footsteps as he padded across the livingroom.

Initially, he stepped out of his room to go check on Jinhwan. Both he and Hanbin noticed how Jinhwan was kind of on edge throughout the day, so Hanbin asked if he could help him do a night check, because Hanbin would most probably be dead asleep by then.

Bobby was about to head to Jinhwan’s room when he noticed the lights to the kitchen were turned on. He instantly had the idea that Jinhwan could be there, maybe sitting while he was getting drowned in his worries or maybe he was crying.

By the time Bobby walked close enough to get a view of who was inside the kitchen, Jinhwan had already pulled away from Junhoe and the younger was patting lightly at Jinhwan’s shoulder.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. We all have our ups and downs,” Junhoe said as he reluctantly retracted his hand.

“Thank you, really… I just- oh my god. I’ve got my tears and snot all over your shirt. Shit, I am so sorry,” Jinhwan fussed and Junhoe laughed.

Junhoe didn’t mind, somehow.

Bobby watched the other two a little more, a small smile on his lips seeing how Junhoe managed to get to Jinhwan first and comfort him too. Jinhwan was a mess of tears, but he didn’t look disheartened, so Junhoe did an impressive job.

“You’re a good guy, Junhoe…” Bobby whispered to himself before he quietly backtracked to his room.

While Bobby held remorse towards the idiocy of their actions in the past, he was grateful that it lead to having Junhoe around. Junhoe seemed cold and stoic when they first met him, but after enough days, with the addition of what he had just witnessed, Junhoe turned out to be more of a soft and awkward person instead.

Bobby found it adorable. That was the same reason why he would tease the bodyguard and shoot him compliments. Embarrassed, flustered Junhoe was his favorite version of Junhoe. A version that maybe not a lot of people knew.

_‘I should get to know him more..’_

The door to Bobby’s room closed with a soft click. He dove into bed with the feeling of a burden becoming lighter on his shoulders, soon asleep before a minute could pass.

Bobby’s presence went by unnoticed by the two in the kitchen. He didn’t visit early enough to catch their rather intimate comforting session neither did he stay long enough to catch the sight of Junhoe absentmindedly pressing a kiss onto Jinhwan’s head.

A blushing Jinhwan looked up to an equally embarrassed Junhoe, but Junhoe just shrugged his shoulders and froze facial muscles to put up a nonchalant face.

“Sorry, my mom used to do that to me so it just slipped,” Junhoe said evenly, and while it was the truth, he _totally_ wasn’t trying to cover up.

“...Ahah,” Jinhwan tried to laugh but he really couldn’t.

Clearing his throat, Jinhwan stood up from his seat, looking a lot more calm than before, and gestured to the wet stains on Junhoe’s shirt.

“You should let me wash that. It’s gross.”

Junhoe only opened his mouth, not even protesting yet, but Jinhwan grunted in insistence.

“Yeesh, okay fine. Have it,” Junhoe replied and immediately tugged the hem of his shirt over his head and handed the shirt to Jinhwan’s awaiting hand. “I’ll go get a new one,” Junhoe mumbled before rushing off.

Now that Jinhwan was alone, he made a sharp turn on his heels and trudged to the kitchen sink. He held his breath as he furiously washed Junhoe’s poor shirt, trying to fan off the blush that came from seeing his bodyguard shirtless.

 _‘Why can’t your brain ever work properly, Kim Jinhwan?’_ He questioned himself.

Junhoe was the bodyguard, the housemate, and the friend whom he just met not too long ago. He was _not_ falling for the taller male.

But when Junhoe came back out to check on Jinhwan and a conversation somehow lead to Junhoe spending the night with Jinhwan in his room, Jinhwan admitted that his realization towards his feelings were quite belated.

“I don’t want to be alone just yet,” was the excuse he told Junhoe.

Junhoe chuckled at it, but complied nevertheless.

Secretly, he was more than happy to be there for Jinhwan.

…

Junhoe buried his nose deep into the pillow Jinhwan let him use, taking in Jinhwan’s natural scent. His eyes were closed but his mind was awake. He was able to feel the warmth of the older male against his back.

They had gone to sleep with their backs facing each other, since if they faced each other instead, the air in between them would have a strange kind of tension. While Junhoe didn’t move an inch throughout the night, Jinhwan rolled over in his sleep and somehow managed to slot himself into the cozy space right behind Junhoe. This woke the light-sleeper up.

 _‘Jinanie…’_ He reminded himself as he heard the breathing of another person, soft and steady, in peace. Junhoe desperately wanted to turn himself over. That wasn’t because he felt uncomfortable, but he actually wanted to see Jinhwan in his peaceful, sleeping state.

Unfortunately he didn’t want to do anything that could wake Jinhwan, so he settled with the picture his imagination provided. He didn’t really know if it helped, because he just wanted to see Jinhwan even more.

Sighing inaudibly, Junhoe couldn’t sleep. He decided that he would read the messages that Yunhyeong sent a little while ago.

_/[ Hey, update me on Jay’s condition ]_

Junhoe blinked, squinting at the bright screen of his phone. It was a little too much for his eyes, so he flicked open the settings window and turned the brightness down a notch. When it didn’t particularly hurt his eyes anymore, he returned to the messaging app, suddenly receiving another message.

_/[ Junhoe? ]_

_Junhoe rolled his eyes. Yunhyeong was the type of person who couldn’t chill when it came to blue-ticking, even if it was just for awhile. Junhoe found that a tad bit annoying._

_[ first of all, why r u awake? secondly, calm ur tits. thirdly, he’s ok. ]\_

_/[ Hypocrite, you’re awake too >:( And dude, really? With the fansign event coming up, I thought he would act up or something. ]_

_[ he kinda did. but he’s ok now. he told me the story abt the accident. scary stuff. ]\_

_/[ Jinhwan was the one who told you himself? Interesting. I guess you two did some talking then? So I don’t have to worry about anything tomorrow right? ]_

_[ no promises, but yeah. if that’s it, I’ll sleep now. see u tmr. night. ]\_

_/[ Thanks! Good night Junhoe~ :-* ]_

_[ ew ]\_

After a little laughing emoji was sent by Yunhyeong, Junhoe smiled a little and locked his phone. Then, he stretched out to put his phone on the side table, accidently disturbing Jinhwan’s slumber.

Jinhwan groaned faintly. “Junhoe…”

Junhoe bit his lip and mentally cursed at himself. Jinhwan called his name. He had to see.

Better late than never, some like to say. Junhoe used the moment to turn himself over and face Jinhwan. The older was still mostly asleep, but his eyebrows furrowed a little and his legs were shifting their position.

“Shh, go to sleep,” Junhoe whispered as he cupped a hand over Jinhwan’s cheek.

Barely conscious, Jinhwan relaxed at the touch and his own hand crept up to place over Junhoe’s, keeping it there. Just a few minutes in and Jinhwan was already fast asleep again.

Junhoe found it endearing how Jinhwan’s hand was noticeably smaller than his. It was adorable. Too adorable. A rather stupid part of Junhoe’s brain urged him to imagine what it would be like if their fingers intertwined, whether they would fit perfectly or not.

He let himself be stupid. At least for one night. He might regret it the next morning, but at least he could sleep the night off with a little smile on his face.


	12. A Chocoball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunhyeong gets a personal assistant and Junhoe gets sudden publicity.  
> For a bodyguard, that's wrong, and Jinhwan didn't like it either.

“Morning, hyung.” Junhoe lazily saluted with his greet.

“Uh, good morning,” Hanbin mumbled as he rubbed a crusty eye, watching as the younger disappeared into his room.

_‘Wait a minute…’_

Hanbin turned the opposite direction to where Jinhwan and Bobby’s rooms were, eyebrows arched in slight confusion. He blinked once, twice, then decided his brain wasn’t ready to process things just yet.

He just brushed it off as Junhoe waking up his hyungs for the fan meeting on that day. The younger must have been in a generous mood to do so, because it was usually manager Song who did.

Speak of the devil…

The lock on the main door turned and the all-too-familiar furrow of manager Yunhyeong’s eyebrows appeared as the door flew open.

“Hanbin-ssi! Good, you’re awake. We have to wake the others-”

“They’re already awake,” Hanbin stated monotonously.

“... Right. That’s good, I’m glad you all didn’t decide to sleep in like last year,” Yunhyeong said as he entered the apartment with a small bag slung over his shoulder.

Yunhyeong didn’t close the door, and Hanbin was about to point that out until he caught a little movement from the outside. Then, a tall man with brown hair and chubby cheeks stood at the entryway, hovering around with uncertainty.

_‘Chocoball,’_ was how Hanbin would describe the man.

He looked a lot younger than anyone in the apartment. He was maybe around twenty years of age, more or less.

“Manager, who’s that?” Hanbin asked and nodded towards the stranger's direction. He scratched an itchy spot on his hip and watched as the man in question stepped in and bowed.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Jung Chanwoo,” the man said politely.

Hanbin casually bowed in return but said nothing. He looked up at Yunhyeong instead with an eyebrow raised awaiting an explanation.

“Hanbin-ssi, this is Chanwoo. He is actually my PA... because I’ve been desperately needing one to help handle a few wild and lazy animals.” Yunhyeong put on a wry smile and hoped that Hanbin got what he was implementing.

Hanbin shot him an offended look. “I must have you know that we’ve been nothing short of cooperative throughout all the ordeals, manager Song.”

Yunhyeong scowled and moved his lips in a way that mocked Hanbin’s complaining, and Hanbin mirrored that by doing the same thing in return. The two stayed like that for a good minute or so.

Chanwoo was a little worried as he looked back and forth between the two strange familiars.

Like a saving grace, Jinhwan came out of his room and slowly approached the others, aware of the unfamiliar face present.

“Oh? Hello. Who are you?”

Chanwoo had a split-second of hesitation before he bowed then replied, “Jung Chanwoo. Song Yunhyeong’s personal assistant. Nice to meet you.”

Jinhwan bowed back then glanced at Hanbin who was nothing but sour.

“You better not be moving into our apartment,” Hanbin grumbled with narrowed eyes, and that shook poor Chanwoo and unsurprisingly displeased Yunhyeong.

“We already have one tower of a fuzzy-eyebrowed beagle. We definitely don’t need another,” Hanbin added.

Jinhwan snorted at that.

“Hey, is that really what you take my eyebrows for?” Junhoe replied in fake hurt as he walked over, a towel massaged over his scalp to dry his wet hair and lips pulled to a pout.

“Eh, out already? That was quick,” A surprised Hanbin blurted.

“Ah, Junhoe!” Yunhyeong butted in before the unnecessary conversation could go any further. In addition, the banters between the two had always been too tiring to listen to, so he didn’t want to be around for that.

Junhoe flinched at Yunhyeong forgetfulness on honorifics but chose to ignore it.

“Yes?”

“This is Chanwoo. He’s my new PA, and he’s gonna be helping us out at the fan sign event today,” Yunhyeong said and grinned with no intent of hiding his relieved feeling.

Junhoe looked up and gave the newbie a half-smile and a nod of acknowledgement. Since his hair was somewhat dry, he pulled the towel off and hung it over a chair. Fingers were the only essential tools to fix Junhoe’s hair up to be at least presentable for the journey, because when it dried, it looked the same as always anyway.

“Okay, we should get going now. You’ll all have your breakfast on-road. Let’s go!” Yunhyeong cheered and marched out the main door. Chanwoo hesitated before he followed step, rushing out after his senior.

“Where’s Bobby? Agh, did he fall asleep on the toilet again? He is unbelievable-” and so on were Hanbin’s yapping as he trudged off to get Bobby.

Alone with Junhoe, Jinhwan looked up at the other and smiled, his eyes crinkling into little crescents. It was simply one of the rarest and most beautiful sights to Junhoe thus far. In his head, there were imaginary rays of sunlight that shone behind Jinhwan and a ‘sha la la la’ background music played with it.

“Come on. Let’s get going too, June-yah.”

Junhoe acted totally cool, unlike his fluttering insides. He hummed in reply as he tugged a backpack over his shoulders. His imaginations weren’t spoken of when the two walked out the door, one after another. They stayed close, side by side, warm and safe.

“Wait for us!” Bobby called out as he sprinted out the door with Hanbin yelling after him.

…

The Vito Tourer which the team was traveling in drove smoothly as the passengers chatted and had their breakfast; consisting of packed bread from the convenience store. They were followed closely by a van of staff and gear, all the equipment necessary to create the best environment for the Ikonics.

While the journey was mostly a relaxed one, Yunhyeong suddenly burst out in a fit of laughter which caused inquisitive stares to be thrown his way.

“I can’t believe you would think that, Chanu,” Yunhyeong said aloud when he was left with the remnants of his chuckling.

Chanwoo on the other hand was panicked due to the sudden attention from the others. He tried his best to hush Yunhyeong from amplifying his curiosity for the ears of others, but Yunhyeong was far too amused to stop himself.

“Hey guys, Chanwoo here is wondering if iKON debuted a new band member. You know, that guy over there,” Yunhyeong pointed to Junhoe with a thumb and grinned. Junhoe's eyebrows shot up in surprise but e tried to stay focus on the wheel.

While Bobby and Jinhwan laughed, Hanbin, who sat right behind Junhoe, sniggered.

“Chanwoo, do you really think this untalented nut can be a part of iKON? I think not,” Hanbin said as he glared at Junhoe through the headrest. Hanbin didn’t know much about Junhoe, but he guessed that the tall, raw voiced male couldn’t even do as much as sing, what more was performing on stage with dancing and entertaining people. He didn't even try to sing when Bobby prompted him to sometime ago during practice, stating he couldn't sing.

Yunhyeong began to cackle again and Chanwoo only let out a shy laugh. Chanwoo hoped that he didn’t start anything bitter between but by the roll of Junhoe’s eyes, he could tell that he was in the clear.

“Who are you calling an untalented nut? I have my own talents and skills,” Junhoe replied and smirked confidently. How dare he.

“Psh, yeah right,” Hanbin said, not believing a single bit.

Bobby scooted forward to perch on the end of his seat, peering over the middle-row seats with interest. Last time it didn't work, so maybe he could try again.

“But June did say that he learned the moonwalk when he was thirteen. He must be at least good at dancing then,” Bobby said, and Junhoe was surprised that Bobby could remember that. Junhoe’s smirk grew wider. Bobby was supporting him.

“Anyone can dance if they practice enough. That doesn’t mean he’s talented.”

Bobby frowned and narrowed his eyes at Hanbin. The reason why Hanbin was like that mainly towards Junhoe, Bobby would never know.

“Okay, if you say so. June-yah, can you sing too? Hanbin can’t sing too well, so it’ll be easy to topple him over in that category,” Bobby remarked. Hanbin whipped his head around and made a little squeak with a hand to the chest, feeling betrayed. Hanbin pouted.

“That guy sounds like he ate a bear! He’ll never get even an inch close to my-” A melodious falsetto hit his eardrums and Hanbin's voice was stuck in his throat.

_"Nega geuwa datugo ttaeron geuttaeme ulgo_  
Himdeureo hal ttaemyeon  
Nan huimangeul neukkigo-...” 

The lyrics of Taeyang’s Wedding Dress rolled off Junhoe’s tongue fluently, as if the song was his. It had been a while since he properly sang anything, so the huskiness in his voice took awhile to adjust but he sang anyway. His eyes remained on the road, keeping a larger part of his mind set on his passengers’ safety.

He couldn’t say that Hanbin scraped at his ego, but it was more like he felt good when he could prove Hanbin wrong. Plus, he missed having other people hear him sing. The timing was set up just right.

Hanbin had ultimately shut up when Junhoe started singing and so had everyone else. Hanbin above all was baffled by the fact that the hoarseness of Junhoe’s voice sounded a little too pleasing on the ear than he liked. He loved the voice and hated it all at once.

_'You dirtbag. You said you couldn't sing! What the holy fuck is this?'_

Yunhyeong smiled knowingly and bumped his head to the tune Junhoe’s voice created. It had been years ago since Junhoe last sang out loud as far as he knew. They used to always jam together in karaoke sessions and they considered each other as credible singers. They even dared to imagine how it would be like if they tried for auditions at some entertainment company somewhere.

Chanwoo was wide-eyed as he watched Junhoe. He didn't expect anything after Hanbin's words. Bobby and Jinhwan were equally surprised.

Jinhwan recovered from his shock first. He leaned forward to rest his chin on the seat in front of him to listen more. He was smiling shyly to himself, feeling like his ears were blessed by the voice of Koo Junhoe. Junhoe was a downright liar for saying he couldn't sing. Jinhwan was sure he already fell for the man, but wow, he didn’t think falling deeper was possible.

Bobby on the other hand grinned widely when he realized that Junhoe took up his challenge. After a rejected first try, the younger male finally did it. Bobby did a little whistle to cheer for him. Excited, he clambered over the middle-row seats and plopped down onto the empty space between Chanwoo and Hanbin, leaving Jinhwan alone at the back.

“Wooaah,” Bobby sounded while he waved his two arms as if it was a mini concert.

Hanbin grunted in irritation but on the inside, he was debating whether to stop Bobby or join him. Scowling worked better for him instead.

Jinhwan had a wistful look as he watched Bobby cheer for Junhoe when the song ended at the chorus. He wanted to compliment Junhoe too, just as much as Bobby was, but he held himself from doing so because Bobby was already all over him. Junhoe already looked pleased with himself anyway.

Maybe Jinhwan could compliment him a little later.

…

‘Later’ took a longer time than Jinhwan thought it would.

The fans were already there when the small convoy reached the fansign venue, so Junhoe immediately turned on his ‘bodyguard mode’. He remained in that mode throughout half of the event, and when he did loosen up, it was because of Bobby.

“Yah, give it back,” Bobby pleaded when Junhoe held a toy sucker-punch gun away from his reach.

“No. Not if you’re going to use it to ruin Hanbin-hyung’s hair,” Junhoe admonished.

Hanbin sighed in relief as he felt the condition of his hair that was close to untouched. He definitely appreciated Junhoe a whole lot more then. He finally put himself into use where Hanbin needed it most.

Bobby deflated. The staff always took his toys away. It was disheartening to see how much they couldn’t trust him with mere playthings every single time.

Junhoe chuckled. He began to use the toy to punch lightly at Bobby’s shoulder before he bent to to Bobby’s ear level.

“After a thorough check, I’ll let you keep it if it’s clean,” Junhoe whispered, creating an accidental deep tone. Bobby held his breath, the closeness making blood rush to his cheeks. He was glad enough that the concealer he was wearing helped hide it.

“Oh, ah eh, yes! Punchy punchy for me!” Bobby blurted out what his brain managed to construct. Junhoe tilted his head and scrunched up his nose, obviously not understanding Bobby’s blubber of words.

They both stared at each other for a while, one waiting for an explanation while the other didn’t have one. Then, they both started laughing at the small bit stupidity, because who really had the time to decipher that?

“Oi, are you guys couple or something? Whispering and giggling like that,” Hanbin jokingly questioned with a smirk and wiggling eyebrows. The fact that Bobby and Junhoe both straightened up so fast as if they were caught red handed made the whole crowd of fans squeal in glee. Jinhwan, who was tending to a fan, looked up at this.

Bobby internally panicked but Junhoe was calm. Junhoe knew a staff didn’t often speak through the microphones in terms of interaction but challenging Hanbin became a new favorite hobby of his, so he wrapped his hand around Bobby’s that was holding a mic and brought that microphone to his lips.

Bobby internally screamed.

“And if we are? Jealous?” Junhoe replied and wiggled his eyebrows back at Hanbin. He knew that the fan-made pairing called DoubleB existed, so he used that to his advantage for a comeback. Once again, the fans erupted in excitement.

“No way! He doesn’t even like you. Look at the way he’s sinking into his chair!”

And indeed, Bobby sunk down as far as he could feeling as if his very body turned to liquid. Only his hand was up in the air, the hand that Junhoe was still holding tightly with the mic.

Everyone laughed and Bobby joined in with a nervous titter, avoiding eye contact.

Jinhwan bit his lip as he watched the others interact with Junhoe. He noticed the hand that was around Bobby’s, and the small distance between the two, the comfortable energy they had and the intimacy. They were things that he was glad Junhoe had with the members. He just didn't think they were that close, probably closer than how Junhoe was with him.

But what was he kidding? Back then, Bobby got to him first.

Jinhwan found that Junhoe was always with Bobby throughout the event in some way, like his duty was to take care of Bobby solely and not the rest. Jinhwan only managed some small talk with Chanwoo, the man who seemed like he had to fill in to monitor Jinhwan while Junhoe was busy. The only bit of interaction that happened between him and Junhoe was exchanged glances and smiles.

Jinhwan wanted the bodyguard’s attention, his beaming grin and encouragement. He wanted Junhoe. Unfortunately, he was too lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that a fan came up to him and was waving her hand.

“Jinhwan-oppa?”

Startled, Jinhwan turned to the fan and nodded an apology. The fan thankfully didn't mind the little slip up so the session continued as usual. He made sure to do a little something special for that dear fan to make up for things.

Even though Jinhwan needed what he did, he sucked it up and chose to rely on the courage Junhoe gave him through the warmth of his hand the night before. That was the only thing he had at that time at least.

While Jinhwan was busy, Junhoe glanced at him. He smiled.

_‘I’m glad you’re okay even without me, hyung... Stay strong.’_


	13. Trending Handsome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan was worried for nothing.

“June, you’re trending on Naver... and… everywhere. Holy shit,” Hanbin gasped at his phone.

Both Bobby and Junhoe squinted at the phone that Hanbin shove into their faces. Junhoe made a move to take the phone so he could distance it a little from their poor eyes. Bobby shifted seamlessly to place his hands on Junhoe’s shoulders and rest his chin on one of them.

Junhoe didn’t flinch. He was used to Bobby’s habits already. At least he wasn’t as clingy as Hanbin.

“Hashtag Wow-Mister-Bodyguard… Hashtag Wow-Mister-Bodyguard… Hashtag Wow… Wow.” Bobby started reading out the hashtags listed underneath various posts while laughing and Junhoe grinned sheepishly.

“Uh… oops?” Went Junhoe. Hanbin groaned at that.

“I regret talking to you at the event. I regret it so much,” Hanbin sighed and melted into the couch. Regret was regret, so he couldn’t really do anything to change that.

Junhoe and Bobby were still scrolling down the hashtag-filtered posts when Jinhwan exited the bathroom to join them in the living room. The position of the two was still the same, with Bobby rested against Junhoe, so Jinhwan didn’t feel too good. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to talk to Junhoe since the fansign event.

“What are you guys looking at?” Jinhwan asked as he bent lower to take a look for himself. When he saw a chain of photos with Junhoe holding Bobby’s hand with a teasing look on his face, he smiled bitterly.

“You two really do look like you’d make a good couple,” Jinhwan remarked teasingly even though his chest hurt.

Why did he say that? Why did he feel that way? It wasn’t like there was anything between him and Junhoe. That night when Junhoe was with him and consoling him through his fears, that was just because Junhoe was a nice guy. The warmth, the comfort… he wasn’t the only one who received it.

Bobby did too. Maybe Hanbin would have as well if he wasn’t so stuck up on being an idiot.

“Yeah, sure we do,” Junhoe rolled his eyes then glanced up at Jinhwan. “Hyung, you haven’t eaten right? Your food’s on the table. It’s Bobby-hyung’s infamous tteokbokki. It’s really good stuff,” Junhoe promoted and Bobby laughed at that.

Jinhwan felt sick in the stomach.

“Ah, it’s okay. I’m not really hungry…” Jinhwan muttered as he laid a hand on his belly, lips set on a wry smile. Really, the food might just spill from his guts if he tried to eat then.

Junhoe raised a brow. “Are you sure? We had a long day,” he questioned as he eyed Jinhwan warily. He tried to think of something. Maybe Jinhwan’s behavior was caused by the day’s event.

“Yes, I’m sure. Thanks anyway,” Jinhwan nodded and turned away. “I’m going to go keep it in the fridge,” he said before fleeing from the living room to do just that.

The remaining three all shared worried looks. They knew something was wrong.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Hanbin said like the responsible leader he was. He was about to stand up but Junhoe waved him down.

“No, um… I think I should talk to him,” Junhoe said quietly as he untangled himself from Bobby and stood up. Bobby immediately remembered the night he saw Junhoe with Jinhwan and nodded to that.

“Oh yeah, you go ahead. I’ve gotta talk to Bin anyway,” Bobby said as he shooed Junhoe off then walked over to a confused Hanbin.

“He can handle it, I’m pretty sure,” Bobby told Hanbin, watching Junhoe stride away calmly from the corner of his eye. Even though he didn’t have any clue on whether he could believe that, Hanbin trusted his hyung’s words.

 

 

…

 

 

A plate of tteokbokki sat on the kitchen counter as Jinhwan towered over it. He wasn’t exactly looking at it, most definitely far from eating it. He breathed slowly, trying to calm his emotions.

“...Jinanie…”

Jinhwan jumped a bit from the sudden whisper from behind and looked over his shoulder, seeing an apologetic Junhoe approaching.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” Junhoe asked once he stood right behind Jinhwan. He reached over to rest his hand on Jinhwan’s shoulder, massaging the older slightly so that he could calm down. It didn’t really help though.

Instead of properly responding, Jinhwan chose to grunt and wave it off, turning back to his untouched plate. This worried Junhoe more.

“Hey, this is about the fan meeting, isn’t it?” Junhoe whispered his question, hand still massaging lightly on his hyung’s shoulder.

Jinhwan smiled thinly. It was half a yes and half a no. While yes, it was because of something that happened during the event, but it wasn’t exactly about meeting fans or the likes. It was about Junhoe, so how could Jinhwan tell him?

“I’m fine, really. I think I’m a little tired, that’s all,” he told Junhoe, but it felt like he was telling himself. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m fine, thanks… thanks to you,” Jinhwan said the last part sincerely and reached up to pat Junhoe on the cheek.

He wasn’t lying. Junhoe had been a lot of help especially during the night before. Jinhwan went through the entire event flawlessly, save for a few bumps which didn’t give any significant impact. He kept the thought of getting through everything to prove to Junhoe that he definitely could fight it, and he did.

He just wished Junhoe was there with him too.

Junhoe sighed softly. It wasn’t the time to gauge out what Jinhwan was really thinking, not when the others were still awake, so he nodded. “Sure, no problem.”

The bodyguard calculated his next action before going for it.

He pulled Jinhwan into a loose back-hug and pressed his lips onto the top of Jinhwan’s head, taking the time to inhale the sweet scent of his hyung. His hug became tighter, but not too tight. It was protective, but a touch of dependent as well. Even though he was the beam that supported Jinhwan’s spirit, it was in Jinhwan where he found solace.

Junhoe couldn’t reason with that feeling, so maybe scrawling it as lines of poetry on paper would preserve it for future understanding. That was for later though, because he wasn’t going to leave Jinhwan just yet.

It was endearing how Jinhwan, who tensed at first, melted right into the embrace like an all too familiar routine. His every muscle relaxed as he released a sigh, the clutter in his mind numbing, clearing. The hug was so sudden yet so effective.

When Junhoe’s lips detached, Jinhwan looked up at the bodyguard. The younger wasn’t able to meet him by the eye, and for once he was a lot more flustered than Jinhwan was.

Jinhwan realized that he was worried about Bobby for nothing.

Junhoe cleared his throat and his hands slowly dropped to his sides. “Well, you should eat at least. You wouldn’t want to get gastric problems tomorrow,” he said as he took the plate of food and a pair of chopsticks. He picked up a rice cake and held it up for Jinhwan, cheeks already a faint shade of red.

_'Playing the good boyfriend, Junhoe? Yes you are. Are you his boyfriend? No you aren't. Does it matter? What?'_ Junhoe hates how warm he feels when he was supposed to act cool about it.

Jinhwan stifled a laugh before opening his mouth to accept the food. With a mouth busy chewing, he took the chopsticks away from Junhoe and Junhoe was too embarrassed with himself to put up a fight.

“Yah, I’m your hyung. Don’t treat me like a baby. I can feed myself.”

Just like the previous night, they got lost in their own world. The two ended up chatting and laughing together even over the most silliest of things. Junhoe somehow managed to steal the chopsticks back and tried to feed Jinhwan again. They didn’t realize when Hanbin silently trudged into the kitchen, only to pull the emergency breaks in his legs when he saw the intimate scene. He threw his hands up in some form of apology towards no one at all, then reversed out of the kitchen silently.

Junhoe grinned his natural grin, where the smile would reach his eyes and his nose would scrunch up. After awhile, the chatting quieted down.

Jinhwan took his chance. “I really like your voice,” he said quietly before stuffing more rice cakes into his mouth.

“Huh? Uh, thanks...”

“Y-your singing voice, I mean! It’s good, really good.” Jinhwan clarified, though Junhoe’s talking voice sounded just as great to him.

“Eh, what does that make the rest of my voice then? Croaks of the frog prince?” Junhoe asked with a creased forehead, looking offended.

Jinhwan blinked, then they both started laughing.

“June-yah, come to my room tonight?” Jinhwan asked, but felt weird immediately afterwards at how strange the question sounded. Junhoe, eating the small pieces of food Jinhwan couldn't finish, looked up and gave a big nod. He was glad that his mouth was stuffed with food. If it wasn't, he would've squeaked.

Meanwhile, a once again confused Hanbin laid sprawled out on his bed to ponder.

 

 

…

 

 

Ring Ring...

“Hello?” ...

“Yeah, Jinhwan-ssi has been improving a lot over the past weeks.” ...

“Yes, the photos have been spread everywhere. The bodyguard is doing more than a good job taking care of them though.” …

“But his presence is still necessary.” …

“Once Jinhwan-ssi has fully recovered?” ...

“I know he’s young but… At least give him until the end of the promotion? Please?” ...

“Alright, I understand. Thank you, Yang-sajangnim.”

_Call ended._ Sigh.

_‘I’m so sorry, Junhoe…’_

 

 

…

 

 

“We’re heading to Japan next week?” Bobby asked Hanbin while he looked for his favorite jacket in a heap of unfolded clothes. No matter how many times Hanbin told Bobby to fold them and keep them away, Bobby never seemed to have accomplished it. He tried once or twice, but that was just it. He tried.

Hanbin had his eyes glued to the screen of his phone while he texted their manager. Vague info was sent his way and he scowled at the glaring screen before locking his phone.

“Yeah. After tomorrow’s scheduled radio session we’re going to promote at Japan. I mean, we didn’t record Japanese versions of our songs for nothing,” Hanbin pointed out as he rolled about on Bobby’s bed.

“Aaah, why can’t we do that the week after? I’m pooped,” Bobby said before he grumbled and dove into the pile of clothes, tossing items that weren’t of his interest to the side and creating a bigger mess.

“Ey, it’s for our fans, okay. Also, we get some of th- HEY!” Hanbin exclaimed when an underwear of Bobby’s flew to hit face. He jolted up and hurled Bobby's underwear to the rightful owner's face.

“Okay, that’s it. You and I are gonna do some laundry folding today and you will _not_ be excused under _any_ circumstance,” Hanbin barked as he picked up the haphazardly thrown clothes about the room then plopped down next to Bobby.

After much reluctance, Bobby joined Hanbin and the two slowly transformed the chaotic pile into several neat stacks of clothes. By the end of it, Bobby groaned.

“After all that and my jacket is still nowhere to be found,” Bobby mumbled before falling backwards onto the floor, sighing in exhaustion. Hanbin didn’t really get how his hyung could get so tired after merely folding clothes.

“Meh, you must’ve left it somewhere else,” Hanbin said and stood up to put the clothes away. Just then, the door opened and Junhoe poked his head in.

"Hyung."

Hanbin frowned and raised an eyebrow at the intruder. “Have you ever heard of knocking?”

Junhoe made a small ‘oh’ sound then closed the door. A second later, there was knocking. Hanbin facepalmed and Bobby laughed, calling for the younger to enter.

Junhoe stepped in with a big grin plastered on his face. It hadn’t been long since he stayed under the same roof, but as the days passed with him always by their side, everything was starting to feel more comfortable.

Junhoe started to feel like they weren’t just his clients, but his friends too.

His hyungs.

“Did you need something, Junhoe? Eh, is that my jacket?” Bobby asked as he pointed at the worn jacket that was hanging on Junhoe’s shoulder. Junhoe nodded.

“Yeah. I came here to return this, actually. I had to rush out and it was cold. Your jacket’s the closest thing I could reach, sorry,” Junhoe explained as he held the jacket out.

“Aigoo, next time get your own jacket ready at all times. Did you wash it?” Hanbin asked but Bobby quickly hushed him.

“It’s okay, Junhoe. You can always use it again later on. I don’t think you’d dirty it anyway,” Bobby said and smiled at Junhoe, who smiled back.

Hanbin squinted at this. Bobby letting someone else wear his favorite jacket? That was new. So was Jinhwan being a baby in someone else’s arms. That was new too.

The clues in Hanbin’s head started to piece together, but it didn’t click yet.

Had his hyungs gone mad?

“Have you all packed for our trip to Jeju?” Junhoe suddenly asked.

Bobby had his jacket hugged against himself when Junhoe spoke, nose buried into the cloth.

“We’re going to Jeju too?” Bobby’s jaw dropped, looking alternately between his dongsaengs.

Hanbin and Junhoe nodded, both receiving that bit of information from the same source.

“The day after tomorrow.”

Bobby fell back onto the floor with a groan. _‘Good bye, bed. Good bye, sleep…’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey I'm back! :D  
> Exams are over so there's probably gonna be weekly updates again. Probably.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed~
> 
> also, QOTU (Question of the Update :p) :  
> I've been writing about Junhwan a lot. Are there any other ships you'd like to see me write about?
> 
> Also!!! If you haven't, here's a Junhwan oneshot I posted a few weeks ago => Passing Papers  
> 


	14. Jeju Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spending a break in Jeju and something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update lol  
> Well I hope y'all are having fun with this very very light fic of Junhwan so far...
> 
>  
> 
> coz I'm gonna bring in the angsty ouch fic some time soon~  
> >:3c
> 
> Keep your eyes peeled for that ;D  
> (if I can even angst good enough)

“I call dibs on that bed!” Bobby called out as he barrelled towards the bed mentioned, luggage long forgotten by the entryway, then leaped onto it and landed face first into all the softness a hotel bed can offer. He let out a long groan of satisfaction against he sheets, feeling like he could just fall asleep then and there. Hanbin stood at the doorway with arms folded over his chest. Eyeing Bobby with eyes furrowed, he tutted.

“Hyung, get up. All of us are supposed to _discuss_ on where we’re rooming and who are we rooming with. You know, _democracy_ ,” Hanbin said with an unimpressed look as he leaned against the door frame and lazily kicked Bobby's baggage in hopes that the older would move it. His own luggage was still in the living area. Bobby raised his head from the mattress and looked back with a pout, not really wanting to move anywhere at all.

The iKON members, along with bodyguard Junhoe, manager Yunhyeong and his P.A. Chanwoo were about to spend a three-day break at Jeju. One would say that the break was to repay them for their hard work in making the comeback a success, but really, it was just a small 'rest stop' before they head to Japan to continue their merciless schedule. The group rented a simple beach house big enough to fit the six of them. With three rooms having two beds each, the group gathered around the living room for a discussion.

“I will obviously be taking a room with Chanwoo," the manager started off, and while most of the others agreed, Hanbin squinted at that. He didn't question, however, because Chanwoo was Yunhyeong's personal assisstant anyway, so it wasn't a strange choice. Nevertheless, Hanbin couldn't help but squint in suspicion. "I guess we’ll be taking the one closest to the kitchen since I’ll be the one cooking anyway."

“Bobby-ssi, since it looks like you've already claimed a room, who is gonna room with you?” Yunhyeong asked, raising an eyebrow at the man who was busy eating a bag of chips. Bobby paused his eating and pursed his lips, looking across the remaining three people he could roommate with. Bobby was definitely fine with anyone, but maybe... just maybe…

“June, be my roommate!” Bobby said to the male who was perched on the couch armrest next to Jinhwan. He was hopeful. Junhoe’s eyebrows arched at this, but he immediately smirked and nodded. Sharing a room with Bobby was easy. They could be as loud as they wanted to without either roommate complaining… unless Bobby wanted to sleep. Junhoe wasn't noisy the whole day anyway, he had writing to do. Bobby wouldn't know that though, because Junhoe would be writing drafts in his phone, making him look like he'd been surfing the internet or something.

“Sure,” Junhoe said. Unfortunately, he missed the disapproving look that passed Jinhwan’s eyes.

“So that leaves Jinhwan-hyung and Hanbin-hyung as roommates for the third room. It’s all settled,” Yunhyeong concluded with a single clap on his hands before getting up. He gestured to Chanwoo who had been quiet for the whole time to follow him and unpack. The younger didn't hesitate to follow, a small smile on his lips as he did.

“Ah, this is going to be great,” Bobby cheered as he stretched himself on the couch, leaning over to rest his head on Jinhwan’s lap. In that position, he could see Junhoe if he tilted his head back a bit. He did just that and grinned at Junhoe, flashing a row of cute bunny teeth. Junhoe chuckled a little in return, and Jinhwan became rigid but the two didn't show any signs of noticing this.

“What should we do first?” Jinhwan asked as he slapped a hand over Bobby’s face and made the younger squeak. Junhoe laughed at that as Bobby tried to swat Jinhwan's hand away, but Jinhwan kept his hand clasped tight over Bobby's eyes. His lips were smirking, but he didn't really laugh.

“Let’s eat, I’m hungry,” Junhoe said as he reached over and gingerly took hold of Jinhwan’s hand, removing it from covering Bobby’s little eyes. To save poor Bobby, was Junhoe’s excuse, because any chance to hold Jinhwan's small hand in his was a good one.

 _‘Dang.’_ He wondered why he didn’t try for rooming with Jinhwan. Jinhwan on the other hand didn’t know what to feel as he glared holes into Junhoe's hand.

“You know, I think Junhoe should room with me instead,” Hanbin suddenly spoke up from quietly observing his hyungs and Junhoe. Bobby was strangely happy, Jinhwan was somehow moody, again, and Junhoe was… as clueless as he always had been. There was definitely something wrong with the atmosphere, and Hanbin felt the need to butt in.

“I thought we settled this?” Bobby asked as he lifted his head up from Jinhwan's thigh, eyebrows furrowed with confusion as he looked at Hanbin.

“Yeah, he’s sharing a room with me. It’s settled,” Hanbin decided in a voice that told everyone that there was no negotiating.

The hyungs’ little fight over him puzzled Junhoe. _'Why on earth even...'_

…

The group’s time in Jeju was a blast, all of them constantly debating between wanting to rest their tired bodies and wanting to do activities together without the lingering thought of being filmed by bothersome cameras. Chanwoo enjoyed his time as well despite being a newcomer. Minus Hanbin’s snappy remarks, which were only because he was a pissy baby, Chanwoo had a good time with the team.

It was the evening of the second day when the members decided to be lazy and relax in their rooms. Some of them were sleeping, some were scrolling through their phones and someone was staring intently at Junhoe as the cogs in their brain profusely turned.

“Hyung, stop staring,” Junhoe grumbled as he shifted uncomfortably on his bed, a notebook held in one hand and a pen in another. One would think that he was writing notes or sorting a planner, but really, he was writing poetry. No one knew about that though. Junhoe didn’t need anyone to know about his emotional side (besides probably Jinhwan because they have watched a handful of romance movies together). He chose to bring his notebook out instead of writing in his phone because he thought Hanbin would be all for minding his own business, but apparently he was wrong.

Hanbin blinked a few times. “Have I become a fourth wheeler?”

Junhoe’s head snapped up and his pen was accidentally flung across the room. While his thoughts were slightly panicked, he tilted his head and furrowed his brows, putting on a confused expression. He looked at Hanbin as if he grew another head.

“Don’t play dumb. I know there’s something between you and Jinhwan as well as you and Bobby. Oh, unless you’re actually dumb and haven’t noticed shit,” Hanbin said as he leaned back against the wall, facing Junhoe completely. His eyes were narrowed, ready to catch any weird action from Junhoe that would signal him lying.

“W-What? I…” Junhoe trailed off. It was clear to him that the leader was more observant than he thought, and that Junhoe might not have anywhere to run from that topic. Lips pursed as he formed words in his head, Junhoe supposed that Hanbin was trustworthy. He hoped so.

“Um, I guess there’s… something between me and Jinhwan. I don’t… I don’t really know what though,” Junhoe said honestly as he stared down at his notebook. Neither him nor did Jinhwan make any move to declare what they were, so Junhoe couldn't go ahead of himself and say things that Jinhwan didn't agree to or want. Sighing softly, Junhoe looked up again. “But with Bobby? What makes you think that?” Junhoe asked, genuinely surprised about that part.

Hanbin's eye twitched in irritance as he stared Junhoe for a moment. Taking a deep breath, started pointing out all the things Bobby had done and only did around Junhoe, from his excitement when the younger was around, to sharing his things, all the way to how Bobby couldn’t really get mad at Junhoe. Every single detail that Junhoe obviously missed, because his own eyes were set on someone else. It took a good five minutes before Hanbin got done, out of breath and out of information to tell. The explanation left Junhoe baffled.

“I thought… he always did those kinds of things,” Junhoe mumbled as he stared at his outstretched legs. Hanbin’s attention to details amused him, but the latest revelation made him worry. Bobby liked him?

“It’s actually hilarious how you’ve just pranced into our lives one day and captured the hearts of my best bros,” Hanbin said and laughed at himself, not necessarily looking upset. Junhoe grunted in disapproval, memories with Bobby flashing in his head. It all made sense, unfortunately, as Junhoe connected the dots.

“Hey, but you didn’t deny the Jinhwan part right? Bodyguard fancying his client already? Is that even allowed?” Junhoe was silent, not really wanting to talk about it anymore, but he nodded nevertheless. "I-I mean, yes, I do _fancy_ him but I'm not too sure about the second part. It just... never happened before, I guess."

Hanbin of course noticed Junhoe’s mood. “I actually support it… more or less.”

"What?" Junhoe’s mouth gaped a bit as he looked at Hanbin incredulously. While he knew Hanbin was all banter and there was no hatred between them, he didn’t expect Hanbin to support Junhoe's feelings towards his own, and Junhoe quotes, 'best bros'. Hell, he was the bodyguard they received only a few months ago. Had Hanbin trusted him to that extent?

“Look, Jinhwan has been a lot better with his PTSD ever since you came along. I don’t exactly know what you did, but it looks like you did a good job," Hanbin said seriously as he jabbed a finger in Junhoe's direction, then his expression softened a little. "And I don’t know you all too well, but I think Jinhwan makes you somewhat soft. You always have heart eyes on him and it's gross sometimes but also cute. Also I accidentally walked in on the two of you once when you were... cuddling, probably. Also I think he likes you too,” Hanbin rambled, forehead creased while he thought.

Those words had Junhoe’s full interest on them.

Hanbin opened his hand up and started counting with his fingers. “His eyes always try to find you, he always talks about you and smiles at your stupidity. I saw him wear your shirts and sweaters a few times. He likes to be around you and boy do I know that you go to his room often... And him to yours. I think Bobby clinginess towards you has made him kinda jealous... I have no idea, but that’s why I told you to room with me instead,” Hanbin finished, a pink pout appearing on his lips unconsciously.

The new information was of course surprising, but Junhoe was smiling like an idiot to himself. “Ew, you look so smitten. It’s gross,” Hanbin remarked jokingly, but a deep scowl graced his features anyway. Junhoe bit his lip to stop himself from smiling and scratched the back of his head that wasn’t even itchy. Hanbin rolled his eyes.

“I couldn't believe it at first, but you’re definitely a softy. Who knew ey? Tall, serious and crazy eyebrows guy fell for a 13cm fairy. Let me guess, you write poems about him too, right? There must be at least three poems about hyung in there,” Hanbin said as he moved to get up from the bed.

“Wait, you know I write?”

“Mmmhm. Accidentally found that book one day. The poems are hilariously cute... Whatever, I think it’s dinner time. Let’s go before Yunhyeong even bothers to call us.”

“That’s manager Song to you, _Hanbinnie._ ”

“ _Excuse_ me?” The nickname made the offended Hanbin pounce over to Junhoe and so they wrestled—Hanbin losing terribly—and laughed. Suddenly, Hanbin sat up.

“Can we make manager Song the fifth wheel? And maybe that Chocoball the sixth? I don’t know, man. I just don’t wanna be alone,” Hanbin wailed and planted himself face-first into Junhoe’s mattress. Junhoe couldn’t help but laugh and pat his poor hyung comfortingly… on the butt.

…

The night was cold out in Jeju's sea, and the cool breeze blew onto shore, swaying the bronze strands of Jinhwan's hair over his forehead. He closes his eyes and breathes in the salty scent of the waters, the familiarity of everything putting his mind at ease.

“Jinanie, you’re not supposed to go out without telling me first.”

Jinhwan blinked from minutes of gazing at the crashing waves. The waves were gentle, but came strong now and then when the wind blew hard enough. It felt just like the emotions Jinhwan had in him, toned down and mature but they could easily whip into anger, sadness and the likes when triggered. That familiar sea calmed him. It felt like home. He _was_ home.

Jinhwan didn’t need to look up to see who came over, since there was only one person in the entire planet that would ever call him ‘Jinanie’, and so fondly at that. Jinhwan shifted his position and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. He only gave the tall man behind him a small smile before setting his gaze on the evening sky as it got darker by the second.

“Jinanie? Is everything okay?” The same person asked, voice still gentle. Jinhwan wasn’t sure if he really wanted to talk to him at that moment—which explains why he got out in the first place—but the fingers that carefully brushed away the hair from his face made his heart swell. It reminded him of how much he wanted to be around that person, and not away from him.

“Yeah… I’m mostly alright. Just a little tired... It’s nice being home,” Jinhwan replied and smiled, no lie in what he said. Junhoe had settled right beside him and nodded in understanding.

“It’s not everyday that we get to enjoy the ocean breeze…” Junhoe murmured as the wind blew softly against his face, swaying the strands of his hair. It was quiet after that, a companionable silence. “Let’s forget the tension and take a breath in the clear air... get drunk on the countryside emotions... and be careless about the city emotions,” Junhoe suddenly recited with poetic intonation, eyes glued to the same sky he was sharing with his item of adoration. When he realized that he said it, his warmth rushed to his cheeks and he coughed awkwardly.

Jinhwan gazed at Junhoe in awe as the sky dimmed further, the mellow light from the beach house tracing the curves of the younger’s features. Jinhwan’s focus somehow settled at Junhoe’s lips, but it broke right when Junhoe turned to him with a toothy grin.

“Sing with me?”

Jinhwan watched as Junhoe reached into his pocket to play an instrumental to a song they both knew. Junhoe said he wanted to record it. Without realizing, Jinhwan was already singing along with Junhoe, all in harmony. Their voices complimented each other’s too well. Soft in tune with husky, they sang a lullaby to the boundless sea.

“Jeju night's ocean! Say something,” Junhoe urged the other, grin spread wide on his face and his eyes set in crescents.

“I love you,” Jinhwan murmured to the camera, but it made Junhoe stammer as he ended the video.

“Waaah, that was great.” Junhoe sighed contently before laying down on the beach. His cheeks have gotten warmer, but he didn’t want to say anything. Actually, he didn’t know what to say. Jinhwan was quiet as well as he joined Junhoe, laying down right beside him, the tips of his fingers brushing against Junhoe's.

“I mean it, though… I-I mean, maybe the term ‘like’ is more appropriate in this situation,” Jinhwan mumbled. He was afraid to confess, had been for a while already, but his feelings filled his heart to the brim and he needed Junhoe to know. He searched Junhoe’s eyes, seeking the truth of Junhoe’s feelings towards him as well.

“Why keep it there when love is what you feel?” That question was enough to make Jinhwan look away in fluster, and Junhoe wasn't even looking at him yet. Junhoe took the chance to prop himself up on his elbows and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss on Jinhwan’s cheek. Both of their hearts raced so fast that the loud thumping became a nerve-wracking ambiance.

“I love you too, you know,” Junhoe whispered, and Jinhwan’s heart skipped a beat. When Junhoe lied back down, he worried whether he was going too fast. However, he was proven wrong when a more than happy Jinhwan rolled over him, palms resting against his chest. Junhoe looked up into eyes that were full of love, entranced, he didn't notice when Jinhwan lowered his head and a pair of soft lips met his.

Their lips moved slowly but surely, conveying feelings that were held back due to their jobs, their statuses. Junhoe ended breathless first, totally unprepared. They panted softly against each other’s lips, both breath and body warm as they collided. Junhoe smirked.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Junhoe whispered before he caught Jinhwan’s lips in his again, kissing deeper with his fingers weaved into Jinhwan’s hair. The waves crashed onto the shoreline a little more aggressively, as if portraying the passion between the two lovers.

 _Lovers._ Jinhwan wondered if that’s what they had become.

Just as the sea calmed, the kiss broke. They laid a little longer on the beach that night, warm in the safety of each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also idk why but I have this thing with Junhwan and how I don't ship Jinhwan with anyone else but Junhoe xD  
> BUT I ship all other members with each other so yeah. xD I'm sorry, but no Binhwan fics.
> 
> I might write a DoubleB fic soon :3  
> If you guys have any prompts you want me to write on, do comment down below!  
> Feel free to comment if there's another pairing you have in mind as well!


	15. Music Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe's acquaintance... A friend? A foe? Or maybe something unexpected?

_“Dongdong?” Junhoe questioned in shock as the lone pianist in the practice room turned around in his seat._

…

“Dongdong?”

Donghyuk turned with the same speed, stopped at the same angle and smiled the same smile. It was almost a deja vu when the exact scene played right before Junhoe’s eyes, but backstage instead of in a practice room.

The only other difference unthought of was that they weren’t a thing anymore.

“Junhoe!” Donghyuk chirped as he stood up and threw his arms around the taller, the action reciprocated soon after.

“DK? You are DK? You debuted? And you never told me? How could you!” Junhoe complained. An hour ago when Donghyuk stood up at stage as iKON’s special guest, Junhoe’s jaw dropped to the floor, seeing such a recognizable face he never expected to see.

“It’s not my fault that you always listen to old songs and never keep up-to-date with the new stuff,” Donghyuk said and laughed, pulling away from the familiar embrace.

“Also, I didn’t want to text you about it because I wanted to tell you in person,” Donghyuk added, smiling his sweetest smile, the one that could melt Junhoe’s heart at one point in the past.

“Well, this way is acceptable enough,” Junhoe said and shrugged.

“So, how’ve you been? Got entangled with another girl yet? Or guy?” Donghyuk asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Junhoe rolled his eyes at Donghyuk’s choice of words, then he nodded once. This excited Donghyuk.

“See, you didn’t tell me anything about this either! We’re even now,” Donghyuk pointed out while his fists punched the air. “So, who is it? How’s she like? Or… he?”

“He is a petite beauty with the voice of a nightingale,” Junhoe murmured as he thought about Jinhwan, and how much he loved his hyung’s height and voice, just as much as he loved everything else, really.

Donghyuk scrunched his nose. “Oookay, poet Junhoe. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen you like this. He must be great,” Donghyuk said as the smile returned to his face.

“You were great too,” Junhoe muttered quietly, a small wry smile pulling at his lips. He shook his head and laughed, taking a second to thank the heavens for letting their friendship go on even after the storm that happened between them.

“How about you? Anyone new?”

Donghyuk’s smile faltered and he looked down at his feet, huffing softly. Junhoe’s eyebrows furrow with concern.

“Nah, nothing. I mean, I’ve been fine lately. Just that things have gotten a little too busy to think of romance ever since debut. I think I’m gonna focus on my career for now,” Donghyuk told Junhoe, putting on a wry smile of his own.

Junhoe nodded in understanding. Suddenly, Donghyuk was dragging him by the wrist and guiding him to the soundcheck room. In there situated an electric keyboard set in the corner of the room. Donghyuk took his place and stretched to loosen up. Junhoe looked on questioningly.

“Hey, do you still remember Drunken Truth?”

At that question Junhoe nodded and stated that of course he remembered. Just like that, Donghyuk started the intro on piano and Junhoe sang softly when it was his queue. At the higher notes however, he sang a little louder, and that caught someone’s attention.

“June-yah?” Jinhwan questioned the man leaning against the wall opposite of Donghyuk.

“Oh, Jinanie,” Junhoe responded, but then he gasped and slapped his hand over his mouth, realizing how he used the special nickname when there was another person in the room.

Donghyuk turned as well and stood up. “Jinhwan-ssi, hello,” He said and bowed to his sunbaenim. Jinhwan bowed back to the fairly acquainted ex-trainee.

“Wait, Jinanie?” Donghyuk questioned when he stood straight again, eyes flickering between Junhoe and Jinhwan before it clicked.

“Ah, so this is him? Wow, you sure have a thing for cute nicknames, Junhoe,” Donghyuk said and laughed. Junhoe pouted and hushed the other, only to have it sound like a hiss instead.

“You two know each other?” Jinhwan asked as he walked further into the room, clearly confused on what the other two were conversing about.

“Oh yeah. I guess you know him already but Jinhwan, this is Donghyuk, my e-,” Junhoe suddenly trailed off awkwardly, looking at Donghyuk in panic. “-eee… ehm, friend.”

Jinhwan tilted his head in confusion while Donghyuk laughed his angelic laugh, moving to hook an arm around Junhoe’s neck and patting his shoulder.

“What he meant to say is I’m his ex. He calls me Dongdong, by the way,” Donghyuk said and grinned. Junhoe smiled sheepishly at his side. Jinhwan pursed his lips, a smudge of a bad feeling in his chest.

_‘Jealousy? Already?’_

“Ex as in ex-boyfriend, right? It’s… it’s nice to see that you guys are still close,” Jinhwan mumbled as he tugged lightly at the choker around his neck.

He really couldn’t understand why the stylists had been putting things around his neck a little too often recently. If he were given a choice, he’d choose something that didn’t have the capability to strangle him.

Donghyuk hummed in approval while watching Junhoe closely as he detached himself from Donghyuk’s hold. Junhoe walked up to Jinhwan and ran a finger along the choker gently. That action gave Donghyuk a little flashback, and he smiled fondly.

“Doesn’t that choke your neck? It’s digging into your skin,” Junhoe asked in a soft tone, caressing the skin around the choker, the gentle friction like a small tickle.

Jinhwan blushed and grabbed Junhoe’s hand to stop him, clearing his voice to answer.

“It’s suffocating,” he mumbled, still aware of the other person in the room. At first he wondered why Junhoe was acting so freely with Donghyuk there, but he figured that Junhoe probably trusted Donghyuk with the knowledge of the little thing they shared.

Donghyuk had an amused expression as he watched, faintly nodding his head in approval of Junhoe’s choice. He decided that he should give the other two some space. He knew well enough what jealousy and space are when it came to relationships.

“Oh, look at the time. I’ve gotta head back before my manager freaks out. Talk to you later, Junhoe. Turrah~,” Donghyuk cooed as he walked around the duo and walked out, sharing a smiles with Junhoe before closing the door behind him.

Jinhwan watched as Donghyuk left silently, and when he did Jinhwan visibly relaxed.

“You’ve dated before?” Jinhwan quietly asked and Junhoe nodded. _‘So I’m not your first kiss either… No wonder you were so good,’_ Jinhwan thought to himself as he remembered the night on Jeju’s beach.

Junhoe nodded. “The only reason why I know how to kiss properly,” he muttered shyly.

Junhoe’s shy words and small smile unsettled Jinhwan.

 _‘He must be thinking about that guy…’_ Jinhwan didn’t like how he felt, especially when nothing was made official between them. He felt a small bud of jealousy in him, but it was ridiculous if he told Junhoe.

“June…” Jinhwan uttered and pulled Junhoe by the arm, fitting his free hand against Junhoe’s nape before pulling the taller male down to kiss him. Junhoe made a little sound of shock and a second passed before he kissed back.

Confused at first, Junhoe realized why the kiss was so sudden. He didn’t want to mention it though, because he thought Jinhwan wouldn’t like that. So instead he pulled Jinhwan closer, in some way trying to reassure Jinhwan that whatever he was feeling should be rid off through where they connected.

“You sang with him…” Jinhwan whispered against Junhoe’s neck when they broke the contact, wet lips and hot breath brushing against the skin making the bodyguard shiver slightly. Junhoe had somehow managed to get the older pressed up against the door.

“Jealous?” Junhoe asked, tone deep in Jinhwan’s ear. Junhoe didn’t want to start it, but since Jinhwan opened the window, he did it anyway.

Jinhwan grunted in annoyance but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell Junhoe to stop thinking of someone other than him. They weren’t exactly boyfriends and it was embarrassing anyway.

Meanwhile, Junhoe was waiting for those exact words. He wanted to hear Jinhwan’s confession. He wanted to hear the older claim him as his… but it never came. Junhoe almost deflated.

Almost, because Jinhwan soon pressed a few soft kisses on Junhoe’s neck. The kisses didn’t hold any sexual intent in them. They were gentle but firm enough to mark his territory. If only Jinhwan knew how much he’s got Junhoe falling for him and only him.

But maybe he’ll never know.

Junhoe pulled away enough to hook a finger under Jinhwan’s chin to redirect where the innocent kisses should land on. Lips interlocked, Jinhwan was in bliss. He wanted to know if it was okay to carry on with this. He wanted to know if they could do other things too, like hold hands or cuddle in bed.

Jinhwan broke the kiss to ask, to have confirmation, but the ring of a cell phone intercepted.

“Yeah, hey. Hello,” Junhoe said after scrambling to receive his phone.

Jinhwan frowned a little, sighing as he moved to rest his head on Junhoe’s chest. He supposed that his question could wait.

He had all the time in the world with Junhoe anyway.

“Yes, yes,” Junhoe said to the person across the line. While he talked, his fingers stroke and play with Jinhwan’s hair absentmindedly, almost as if it was a natural thing for Junhoe to do. The older male of course enjoyed the attention.

“Okay, we’ll be right there. Don’t worry,” Junhoe said and ended his call. He carefully pulled away from Jinhwan, not before giving him a peck on the forehead, and opened the door for him.

“Come on, manager Song is gonna kill us if we don’t head back ASAP,” Junhoe said and Jinhwan sighed for the second time. When they both exited, Jinhwan suddenly spoke.

“Wait, I just realized something. Are the forehead kisses your indirect way of saying I’m short?” Jinhwan asked in fake seriousness, so Junhoe laughed.

“Well, you can’t really return the kiss on my forehead now, can you?”

Junhoe received a jab in the side.

…

“Oppa, long time no see~!”

Donghyuk looked up and scanned the room searching for whoever dared to call him ‘oppa’. The fact that the honorific sounded so familiar from that particular voice had Donghyuk’s nose scrunching up in an instant.

“Quit calling me that! What’s wrong with you, hyung?” Donghyuk groaned in protest when he finally caught sight of a grinning Bobby heading his way.

“Aaah, oppa… Why are you so mean to me?” Bobby whined with an exaggerated nasal sound as he took a seat beside Donghyuk. Donghyuk couldn’t help but cringe and shrink into his seat, trying to keep as much space between Bobby and himself as he can without having to get up.

“And to think this would stop after you’ve debuted… It’s been years now. You should be more mature, more controlled… but no, of course you still appear as the same Bobby since trainee days,” Donghyuk said and rolled his eyes, then resuming his social media surfing.

“We haven’t seen each other in a while and this is how you treat me? I’m hurt…” Bobby fitted his words with a dramatic hand to his chest, face scrunched up to feign pain. When Donghyuk only laughed at him, he dropped the act.

“Really though, it’s nice to see you again. You can sing really well and you’ve improved a lot. Your piano playing skills are tops too,” Bobby said in his normal voice, leaning into the armrest to support his tired figure.

At the change of tone, Donghyuk finally looked up and gave Bobby a genuine smile, a little shy due to the compliments given.

“Thanks, Bobby-hyung.”

“To celebrate, go get us some vitamin drinks,” Bobby said and nodded towards the mini fridge. Donghyuk laughed but took no time to get up and grab two bottles from the fridge. After he passed one to Bobby, the two opened and clinked their bottles before drinking.

“Thank you, oppa~”

“Oi!”

Bobby couldn’t help himself but continue the little cringey girlfriend act before Donghyuk’s brain had a meltdown and he gave up on trying to respond. Bobby cheered in victory.

“So, how you doin’?” Bobby asked, back to his normal self once more. Donghyuk thanked God right then and there.

“Eh, the normal things for a new debuted artist. Busy, tired, stressed at some parts but mostly great. I get why people sacrifice their sleep for their fans now. It’s worth it,” Donghyuk said, smiling to himself. Bobby nodded in agreement.

A few seconds passed with just them drinking from their bottles. While Donghyuk had just drank half-way, Bobby already finished his and asked for another. Donghyuk rolled his eyes but took another one anyway.

“I still can’t believe you two dated before… What a small world we’re living in...” Bobby suddenly mumbled, sounding like he was still deep in thought. Donghyuk raised a brow and smirked.

“Why? Does Junhoe give off a forever-alone vibe? If yes, then I totally agree,” Donghyuk said and laughed at himself. He took a sip of his drink then placed the bottle on the table, continuing his internet surfing.

“At first, yeah. He acts like he’s made of stone. I’m sure I’ve seen through him though… He’s a lot different than that,” Bobby said as he single-handedly opened his second vitamin drink. He chugged down half of it before putting the bottle down.

“Don’t I know it…” Donghyuk said softly, his smile set to a fond one.

“Hey uh…” Bobby began, thinking hard on what words to use so that he wouldn’t give away any suspicions.

“I think a member of our group is interested in him. So… since you’ve dated and all... maybe spare him some pointers? So I know what kinda advice to give... I don’t know, I don’t want anything bad to happen within the company,” Bobby spoke carefully, trying to be as vague as possible.

Donghyuk’s eyebrows raised in interest.

 _‘A member of the group, huh? Must be Jinhwan…’_ Donghyuk thought and smiled to himself. He didn’t really know whether Jinhwan was completely aware of Junhoe’s feelings, nor did he know whether Bobby was up to date with their relationship, but he supposed he could help out anyway.

“Despite how he looks, Junhoe is a big baby. The key to winning his heart is to understand him, support him and show that you really love him. Don’t compliment him too much though, he hates that.”

_‘Oops.’_

“He can be stupid and blunt sometimes- okay actually a little more than sometimes- but get that he cares. It’s just in his own weird way,” Donghyuk ended and nodded.

Bobby took note of everything Donghyuk said. He would’ve asked more, like what was Junhoe’s interests and his hobbies, but he pushed that idea aside. He wanted to find those out from Junhoe himself. He already managed a few little things.

Suddenly, Chanwoo entered the room and looked around, making a little ‘ah’ sound when he caught sight of Donghyuk with Bobby.

“Excuse me, Kim Donghyuk-ssi. Your manager asked me to come and get you. He’s waiting at the lobby. You must leave right now, sorry,” Chanwoo said politely, but the firmness in his voice proved that he wasn’t one to play a fool with even if he was younger.

“Hah? He told _you_ to come and get me? Whose boss does he think he is?” Donghyuk complained but stood up anyway, bowing his head towards Chanwoo to thank him.

“Looks like it’s until here for now. See ya, Bobby-hyung! I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your time in Japan!” Donghyuk said and waved before walking off with Chanwoo. Right at the door, he halted and looked over his shoulder.

“Oh yeah, just a little extra something. Whoever it is, you should encourage them to confess. Junhoe likes it better if people are honest with him,” Donghyuk said before exiting.

Chanwoo’s brows furrowed.

“Someone likes Junhoe-ssi?” The young man asked quietly when he glanced at Bobby.

“Uh, yeah kinda…”

Chanwoo nodded slowly but asked no further. After a small apology for being intrusive, which wasn’t really intrusive to Bobby anyway, he left to catch up with Donghyuk.

Momentarily alone, Bobby wondered whether the last tip was considerable or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry updates have been going weird but really as I've said in the very first chapter,  
> my updates aren't even supposed to be by schedule anyway lol
> 
> Sorry, but I've met a writer's block somewhat with this story so it's hard to continue  
> But I'll still be updating, just not regularly


	16. Painful Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving can hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to this as you go! https://youtu.be/1R2SADmwC3w
> 
> I had it on loop ;-;

“Why on earth is he sleeping in your bed again?” Hanbin asked in an irritated manner, as he gestured to the figure sleeping soundly on a warm hotel bed; limbs entangled in the covers and head rested deep in the pillows.

“I honestly don’t know,” Junhoe said as he stood at the doorway with Hanbin, eyeing the same entity with a tired expression.

“...He’s just tired, let him rest,” Jinhwan spoke up from behind the two. Jinhwan tried his best to get rid of a thought to why Bobby burrowed himself into Junhoe’s bed.

If it was really exhaustion and fatigue that got to Bobby, it wouldn’t be surprising. The whole team went state-jumping for their concerts and they were all drained. They had just finished their last event, which ended with a blast, but now it was time to rest and sleep as much as they could before returning to South Korea the next day.

Every single member and crew were pretty much in need of rest and energy regenerating. They were losing their heads.

“But his own bed is just right there!” Hanbin grumbled, waving his arms towards the direction of the bed that was only a side-table away from Junhoe’s. Jinhwan was out of defenses and sighed at the same time Hanbin did.

“It’s okay, he can sleep. Swapping beds isn’t the worst thing in life,” Junhoe said. He didn’t really mind. It’s not like he had to sleep on the floor because of that. He could always sleep on Bobby's bed in exchange. It's a hotel bed, after all. Not his own bed back at the dorms. Junhoe is against anyone--except Jinhwan--who dares to sleep on that precious bed of his.

Junhoe toed off his shoes and walked into the hotel room hugging a bag of snacks, wanting to store the various bags of Japanese chips away. Hanbin just watched Junhoe's movements with creased features, words dreading to fall out of his mouth any second. Jinhwan shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his lips forming the tiniest of frowns, before he turns and heads to his and Hanbin’s room next door, leaving without any wish of a good night or the likes.

Hanbin observed as Jinhwan disappeared through the door then sighed again.

_‘Such drama, much wow…’_

“I didn’t sign up for this drama,” Hanbin uttered his thoughts and it made Junhoe turn.

“What do you mean ‘drama’?”

“Holy fuck, you’re so dense it’s almost hilarious. How the hell were you even capable of consoling Jinhwan-hyung? Isn't one supposed to be considerate when it comes to feelings for that, which is totally not what you are?” Hanbin moved to close the door behind him. He leaned back against it and crossed his arms over his chest. His voice was raised slightly; he was irritated.

“Look, fine, I get what you mean. But relax okay? It’s not like I’m sleeping in with him!” Junhoe accidentally raised his voice to meet Hanbin's tone, and Bobby shifted under the covers but stilled again soon after. The two took note to talk a little softer.

“Yeah, try telling Jinhwan-hyung that. See if he chills,” Hanbin hissed.

“He’s another thing! Always so emotional! I mean it was cute at first but wow, jealousy over even the littlest of things. We’re not even a couple, for goodness sake!” Junhoe hissed back, just all too tired to deal with a pissy Hanbin above all else. He didn’t realize his words until a second later. Sighing, Junhoe raised a hand to rub his face. It wasn’t the first time he acted out of accord when he was tired. Things sure went downhill quickly.

Hanbin was silent for awhile, lips pressed into a straight line.

“Why? Because you found him too much to handle, huh? Because you realized that clingy and emotional guys aren’t your thing? That’s why you’re so thoughtless, right? You just don’t care anymore,” Hanbin spoke through gritted teeth. " _You don't even love him_ ," he dared to add. It may have seemed accusatory, but the rational part of Hanbin really needed to know. He didn’t want anyone to hurt his friend. He wanted to make sure whoever Jinhwan devoted his time and feelings to was more than willing to return it; unconditionally.

“NO!” Junhoe barked back in frustration. Junhoe quickly balled up a fist and threw it at Hanbin’s direction, but he moves it a little to the side on purpose so it banged into the door right behind Hanbin.

Shocked eyes reflected the other. _'Hyung... I almost hurt him.'_

“This is why I’m always the fuck-up in the end,” Junhoe muttered shakily under his breath before he lightly shoved Hanbin to the side and stormed out the door, quickly hooking the door and pulling it shut behind him with his fingers.

Hanbin stood awkwardly in partial shock beside the door. Bobby suddenly sat up, eyes narrowed from just waking up, and asked if everything was alright.

“Go back to sleep, hyung.”

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Meanwhile, Junhoe was hurrying down the hall to the exit when a door opened and and his name was called. The voice was soft and warm, calling onto his name just like how it's always been called. Junhoe clenched his jaws; he wanted to run, but his hyung's voice became some sort of magical force that froze Junhoe’s legs. Even though Junhoe stopped, he couldn’t turn. He didn’t want to look at Jinhwan in the eyes. If it was possible, he just wanted a temporary deafness so that Jinhwan’s words couldn’t shake him. Unfortunately, his hearing was close to perfect.

“Junhoe, where are you going? What happened? I heard a thud and-... Your hand, what happened?” Jinhwan asked in genuine worry, reaching out to hold Junhoe’s hand that bruised at the knuckles. Junhoe didn't even realize that they were bruising. It's either that his mind was too much of a mess, or his hand was just numbed out; or it could be both.

Jinhwan gently ran a thumb over Junhoe's reddening knuckles. Junhoe bit his lip. There was something that forced Junhoe to turn to Jinhwan, but he couldn’t allow himself to look at him, so he closed his eyes instead and breathed deeply. Before he knew it, Junhoe was pulled by the arm into Jinhwan’s room.

“Junhoe, look at me,” Jinhwan instructed sternly with both hands clutching Junhoe’s shoulders. The worry didn’t fade. Junhoe just kept his eyes tightly shut, and Jinhwan could only tighten his grasp as encouragement. "June-yah..." Jinhwan called out softly, almost pleading, and he raises both his hands to cup either sides of the younger's face.

Junhoe still didn’t respond after a whole minute, and Jinhwan knew he couldn’t push things any further. The hands that were on Junhoe’s cheeks slowly slid down to his shoulders, to his arms, then to his hands and finally to the tips of Junhoe’s fingers. When Jinhwan was about to release, hopeless, Junhoe swiftly caught Jinhwan's hands and pulled him into a hug.

The hug was long and silent, both of their hearts beating against each others at different rates but somehow managing their own sync. Junhoe was about a head taller than Jinhwan, but that didn’t stop him from bending over to bury his face into the crook of Jinhwan’s neck. He breathed shuddering breaths, trying to keep in the tears that would possibly ruin his reputation as a bodyguard; a protector.

Jinhwan stayed quiet too, letting the other cool down. An arm was around Junhoe’s waist while his other hand stroked the back part of Junhoe’s hair. Jinhwan was used to this. He was used to witnessing the strongest of people break down. The fact that Junhoe was his bodyguard didn’t change anything, because humans were still humans and they had feelings too. Everyone should know that by now.

Junhoe took his time to gather his strength, slowly breathing in Jinhwan’s warmth, the warmth that had always put his mind at ease, before he whispered a little ‘sorry’ against Jinhwan’s skin. They pulled apart slightly, but just far enough to see each other’s faces. Both of them looked tired, but neither denied the time to spend together. They needed it more than they thought; to see fond smiles and hear loving words.

“You okay?” Jinhwan finally broke the silence, arms resting on Junhoe’s chest. Junhoe gave Jinhwan a weak smile, still a genuine one, and nodded.

“Yeah… I just lost it for a bit. Kinda punched the door while I was at it,” Junhoe said. He brought up the bruised hand and it was immediately taken into Jinhwan’s smaller one. Once again, Jinhwan ran his thumb across the reddish marks. He lifted Junhoe’s hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles as a silent prayer for healing. Junhoe can help but grin, feeling better with every second he spends in his hyung's company.

“But you’re feeling better now, right?” Jinhwan asked between kisses, then he flipped Junhoe’s hand over to place a small kiss in his palm, making Junhoe giggle from the ticklish feeling. If Junhoe was alright, then Jinhwan wouldn’t force him to speak. He trusted that Junhoe would tell him eventually.

“Definitely,” Junhoe said with a smile. “Let’s go take a shower and head to bed... I’m tired.”

“Let’s?” Jinhwan questioned, raising a brow with a teasing smirk. Junhoe chuckled.

“Yeah, you heard me right… Come with me, Jinanie.”

The shower took longer than their usual. Besides the obvious fact that they had to share one shower head and take turns to use the water, they also focused on things other than just showering. Why? Because they found each other very distracting. Touches lingered and so did lips. They couldn’t last long enough without at least grazing some skin. Fingertips traced either veins or tattoos, jawlines or lips, dips in the back or curves of the hip, points on the chest or plump backsides.

At some point the situation became a little too passionate, too heated, trespassing the general idea of innocence. But each and every time it happened, Junhoe was the wiser and carefully pulled back, even though he too wanted it just as much. It made Jinhwan whine this time, so Junhoe kissed and murmured his apologies until his hyung gave in.

Bodies clad in only boxer briefs laid intertwined underneath the sheets. Jinhwan looked up as Junhoe’s eyes slowly closed. Sleep was already on its way but Jinhwan needed to do something beforehand, else he wouldn’t be able to rest properly.

“June, what exactly are we?”

Junhoe opened his eyes immediately when he heard the question. For a while he just stared at Jinhwan while he thought of what to say.

“I… don’t know,” Junhoe said timidly, not meeting Jinhwan’s eyes. It was obvious how Jinhwan’s expression fell, and he sighed softly. Not knowing what to do, Jinhwan scooted away from Junhoe and turned over, leaving a cold space between them.

“Why...?” Jinhwan asked, eyes shut tight. He breathed slowly, fighting the pain that tried to reach his chest. Junhoe didn't like how things were going. He moved to get closer and wrapped his arms around Jinhwan’s torso, hugging him from behind. He pecked the tattoo on Jinhwan’s shoulder then rested his chin there, his hand making its way to intertwine with Jinhwan's.

“It’s difficult… our statuses and responsibilities. You know this, I’m sure. But believe me, otherwise I would’ve proudly called you mine. That's... that's what I want for us and so much more,” Junhoe said softly and started to pepper kisses along Jinhwan’s neck, tickling the older male, finally making him laugh a little. “But it sucks…” Junhoe mumbled right after.

“Mm, yeah. I still wanna make it work though... Can’t we try that?” Jinhwan asked as he snuggled up into Junhoe's arms. He really wanted to try. _He really wanted Junhoe._

“... I’ll try my best...”

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Ignoring Hanbin’s orders completely, Bobby persisted on knowing what happened. What he managed to catch with his half-conscious self was that Junhoe and Hanbin weren’t on good terms. As a person who cares for the two, of course he would ask.

Unfortunately, Hanbin wasn’t in a good mood. He glared frighteningly at his hyung, supposedly the source of the problems. That was what his exhausted, screwed up brain concluded.

“Oh, you really want to know? You want to know what’s the fucking problem? It’s you, hyung. You are the fucking problem and you know what’s the best part? You have no fucking clue at all. So fucking helpful!” Hanbin growled before turning away to comb his fingers through his greasy hair.

“I’m the problem? What the? How? What did I do?” Bobby asked, completely taken aback.

“Oh, okay let’s see… First of all, look whose bed you’re sleeping in. Oh wow, it must be yours right?”

Bobby looked down at the bed he sat on, instantly remembering that it is Junhoe’s. He looked up when Hanbin continued.

“Okay now try remembering whose food you always stole or asked to take a bite out of. And maybe whose shirts you secretly kept in your room. Try remembering who you always cling onto, and who you somehow always end up choosing when it comes to… I don’t know, everything?”

‘Junhoe’s… Junhoe’s… Junhoe. Junhoe,’ Bobby answered in his head, eyes gazing to the floor.

“I don’t see what’s the problem. We’re pals, aren’t we? It’s not like he has a problem with it,” Bobby said. Junhoe had never refused him in any way, or even showed any kind of discomfort.

“Yeah, besides the fact that shit’s not platonic on your end,” Hanbin said as he tugged his shirt over his head. He needed a shower so badly. At his words, Bobby’s breath was caught in his throat.

“How do you know that?” He choked out.

Hanbin rolled his eyes and turned to rummage through the little backpack he brought with him, retrieving a set of new clothes for him to change into later.

“You’re too obvious, hyung. Everyone knows. Well, the three of us know at least. And yes, that includes Junhoe himself.”

Bobby stared at his hands that were gripping the sheets.

“You really think there’s no problem, huh? Really? I’ll tell you this right now. Junhoe knows you like him, but he likes Jinhwan-hyung. Jinhwan-hyung likes him too. Heck, they’re probably some kinda couple right now, but you’re slipping right in between them. Junhoe may not act like it, but you’re stressing him out,” Hanbin grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom. 

Bobby’s hands only gripped the sheets harder. He didn’t know what to think, what more was speaking.

“So I advise that you get your shit together and stop fucking around, hyung.” The bathroom door slammed close.

Bobby was left with realization and guilt falling on him like bricks.

_‘All this while when you were with Jinhwan… that was more than just emotional support?’_

The thought of every action of his towards Junhoe, and how selfish he was thinking that neither Junhoe nor any other member were disturbed by them, just made him feel sick to the gut.

_‘Why didn’t you say anything, June?’_

He didn’t know how long his mind looped in the muddle of his thoughts, but Hanbin was out sooner than he liked. Without a word, the younger member stuffed his used clothes into his backpack and slung a strap over his shoulder.

“Manager Song might have an extra bed if Chocoball is fine with sharing one with him,” Hanbin said simply before walking out the door, leaving Bobby all alone for the night.

Bobby could only watch as Hanbin left, then he just stared at the door. “But I didn’t know…” Bobby muttered to no one but himself.

He laid back down on the bed and pulled the covers over his face. His hand poked out for a while and he felt around for his phone. Once the phone joined him under the covers, he unlocked it and opened up his camera roll.

All the pictures of him and Junhoe that he kept, the ones where his smiles went up to his eyes, the ones he thought were where Junhoe was happiest, now had the possibility to be all fake. He knew Junhoe had a thing for hiding how he felt, but he didn’t think Junhoe could be that good at it.

There was no clue. There were no signs. Junhoe didn’t say anything, he wasn’t shooed off even once. Junhoe always laughed at his jokes, joined his hyped up craziness and there was even a song they both liked and they sang it together.

Bobby loved those little moments no matter how simple they were.

“Why didn’t you tell me...?” He whispered to a photo of Junhoe set with a full grin, the younger male being on the brink laughter at that moment because Bobby just gave him one of his best jokes.

He thought of how frustrated Junhoe was, and how pissed Hanbin was. Jinhwan wasn’t anywhere around too and he had feelings for Junhoe, so it was easy to assume that Jinhwan was upset with him as well. For a while he felt like everyone hated him.

Everyone except maybe his family. His brother, his dad… _and his mom._

His fingers fumbled to open up the phone contact list and searched for his mother’s number. He was a hair close to tapping on the call button until he stopped himself. It was already too late in the night, or rather too early in the morning. He couldn’t disturb his mother. She was probably asleep.

Sighing heavily, he tossed his phone aside and reached for his bag, taking out his favorite teddy bear, his best friend; Winnie the Pooh. He hugged it close to himself and shut his eyes tight, forcing the tears in and forcing himself to sleep.

Besides the teddy bear, no one was around to hear his little sobs. No one could see the little tears roll down his cheeks. No one could listen to his little question in his prayer.

“... Is it wrong to love?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed some things about my writing lol  
> And the breaks. Welp, I learn as I go.


	17. Another Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe hated airports, and not only because of his acrophobia.  
> ... "BOBBY!"

Knock knock knock.

Nobody moved, all still sleeping somewhat comfortably in their beds.

Knock knock knock.

Chanwoo cracked an eye open and frowned. His phone alarm hadn’t rung yet and someone was already over to wake them up. Then again, did he actually put an alarm on?

Knock knock knock.

Chanwoo groaned but he sat up anyway, ready to get the door until he realized that a pair of arms had chained him to the bed. Looking over, it was his boss. His boss hugging him in his sleep was probably one of the worst scenes he had ever witnessed--probably.

He scrambled out of the embrace then onto his feet to get the door.

“Junhoe-ssi?” Chanwoo was surprised when he saw the bodyguard outside the door through the peephole, but he opened the door anyway.

“Hello. Do you need something?” He asked Junhoe after a little greeting bow. Chanwoo took note of Junhoe’s damp hair and the faint smell of peppermint. Junhoe must have already washed up.

_‘What an early bird…’_

“Is Hanbin in there?” Junhoe asked pointing into the room.

“Oh, yeah he is. You want me to get him?”

“No no, I’d like to come in if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Chanwoo said as he opened the door wider for Junhoe to walk in. Junhoe entered and instantly furrowed his brows as he glanced around the dim room.

“Wait, did you just wake up? It’s already 7:15 in the morning, we’re supposed to be at the airport at eight aren’t we?” The panic was clear in Chanwoo’s eyes when the realization hit.

“I-I’ll go wake up Yunhyeong-hyung,” the maknae said before he did just that.

Junhoe smiled a wry smile and shook his head a little. Here he thought he was the lousy one.

Putting that aside, he strode off to the other bed where Hanbin was and stood for a while thinking of the best way to wake his grumpy hyung up. Things between them didn’t go well yesterday, so Junhoe hoped that he at least cooled down.

Junhoe sat at the edge of the bed, stopping for a while when Yunhyeong lazily greeted him and entered the bathroom. Then, he held his breath and mentally counted to three, before dropping himself backwards onto Hanbin, shoking him awake.

“Oi!” Hanbin yelped at the sudden weight on him. He lifted his head and craned his neck to see who it was, eyes narrow and a deep scowl.

“Sorry about last night, hyung,” Junhoe mumbled and gave Hanbin his puppy eyes, the fluffy hair that fell over his face completing a ‘puppy’ look.

Hanbin’s scowl deepened for a bit but then it was gone, and he reached over to pat Junhoe on the head, sighing faintly.

“If that’s really your attempt at apologizing, then you failed miserably,” he said before burrowing himself back into the covers and throwing a spare pillow onto his face.

“But you still forgive me, right?” Junhoe asked, purposefully sounding childish. Then came a grunt.

“Yeah, so shut up already... And I’m sorry too… or whatever. I know you love him. Otherwise was stupid of me to even consider,” he mumbled from the under the thick fabric.

Junhoe hummed in approval and got up, leaning over afterwards to tap a beat onto the bump that was Hanbin’s butt.

“Now rise and shine~ We’re late.”

“Leave me alone,” Hanbin groaned. The gentle slapping on his butt spoiled his mood to continue his sleep. He finally flicked Junhoe’s hand away and sat up, scowling again, but only for awhile.

“Hey… I think I should apologize to Bobby-hyung too,” Hanbin muttered as he scratched the back of his head. After properly waking up, the memory of yesterday started to flood his head. The anger, the screaming, _the hurting_.

“Agh shit, I’m sorry, Junhoe. I told him. I told him you knew. I told him you didn’t like how he’s so annoying and I told him about you and Jinhwan. Fuck. I’m so sorry Junhoe…” Hanbin was filled with guilt and soon he stuffed his face into his hands, feeling miserable.

“You told him?” Junhoe asked, as if he didn’t hear Hanbin’s words when in fact he heard it loud and clear.

“I did. I told him everything. And then I told him to get his shit together and stop fucking around. Fuck, I was an asshole. I screwed it, man,” Hanbin’s hands went up to his hair and he gave it a tug, needing some blood circulation in his still tired brain.

Junhoe clenched his jaw and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Nah, it’s fine. You didn’t screw anything. He has to know eventually… I’m sure Jinhwan-hyung is tired of keeping things a secret anyway. You’re both like… his closest people,” Junhoe said and smiled a wry smile. Somehow he felt a pang of guilt too. He imagined how enraged Hanbin was, and how Bobby must have reacted to the news delivered in anger. He thought of the possibility that Bobby might hate him, or be sad, maybe avoid him or all at once.

“Yeah... but...” Hanbin trailed off, unsure. Junhoe nodded to reassure him.

“So Jinhwan-ssi is the one that likes Junhoe-ssi?” Chanwoo suddenly spoke up from the other bed. Yunhyeong was with him too, intending to just eavesdrop silently but that didn’t work. He tried to hide the hand that slapped Chanwoo from Hanbin and Junhoe’s view.

“N-not that we mind if you two have anything,” Yunhyeong butted in, side-glancing a nervous Chanwoo while he bit his lip.

Junhoe and Hanbin turned to look at the other two, expressions unreadable. They sighed.

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“Chanu, take the wheel. Junhoe, the passenger seat. And check your phone,” Yunhyeong instructed sternly before climbing into their vehicle and sitting at the back row alone.

Chanwoo exchanged a worried glance with Junhoe’s questioning one before they both moved to their designated seats. Hanbin caught a glimpse of that exchange but didn’t know what it was about. Bobby was a little glum and Jinhwan didn't like how the atmosphere felt.

In the car, they were all silent. Most of them only had their gazes out the window, or down to their phones like Junhoe and Yunhyeong.

_[ I didn’t hear wrong, did I? You and Jinhwan are a couple? ]_

_[ technically, no, we aren’t a couple. not yet? i thought you didn’t mind? ]_

_[ Actually, I don’t. But I can’t promise that Yang-appa will be okay with this. ]_

_[ egh i know. since you know that too, mind keeping it to yourself? tell hanbin’s chocoball too. ]_

_[ *Chanwoo. And sure, of course. You’ve got to do your part too and don’t screw things up. I… We. We are gonna get our asses kicked otherwise. ]_

_[ yeah, yeah. ]_

Junhoe sighed and pursed his lips. He was fully aware of what he had gotten himself into, so Yunhyeong’s concerns couldn’t bother him any less. Unfortunately he didn’t know the deeper concerns that bothered his good friend’s mind, and Yunhyeong never told him. 

Junhoe locked his phone and stared at the blank screen, seeing a reflection of his stressed out self who didn’t really look any different from his usual self. No emotion ever did distort his features unwillingly. That was how he always lived. 

But then Jinhwan came along and things changed for him. The members had commented about Junhoe’s personality a few times before. The common pattern was them stating how he looked nonchalant, but he was actually a softy. 

No one knew those things about him before, especially not for new people. Yunhyeong and Donghyuk were the few who understood him after years of friendship, but the members got a free ticket to knowing Junhoe’s little secrets. And it was all because of Jinhwan. 

Because of Jinhwan, he laughed without holding back. Because of Jinhwan, he let himself be afraid. Because of Jinhwan, his feelings couldn’t stay hidden. 

It was scary, how Jinhwan could just bypass every wall Junhoe put up. 

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Bobby sat cross-legged at the waiting area with the team, though he was a little separated and quieter than he would usually be. He had a bag of chips on his lap and he focused solely on eating those, not bothering to join the conversations around him. He knew that would raise concern from the others if he prolonged the act, so he joined in just to land a remark or two before going back to his snacks. 

Junhoe was out elsewhere with Hanbin, doing their somehow routine-like visit to a coffee shop, and Jinhwan sat somewhere nearby chatting with the crew. 

It had been awhile since Jinhwan talked comfortably with the crew. His traumatic stress made him think that they all thought bad of him. Contrary to his thoughts, Jihwan was always their favorite and that never changed. He was always polite and thoughtful of them, so once he started chatting with them again, they didn’t let him go. 

Jinhwan didn’t mind. Not until he noticed how Bobby slowly shut himself from the group and slunk away. Jinhwan’s sense of responsibility took over him, so he got up and approached Bobby. 

“Bobby, you sure are in love with those chips,” Jinhwan started out with a smirk on his lips, walking over to plop down right beside Bobby, ignoring every sense of personal space as he leaned against Bobby’s shoulder. 

Bobby’s reaction got Jinhwan worried. He tensed up immediately at the contact and the toothy grin that was plastered across his face didn’t look right. Bobby was troubled. 

Jinhwan carefully moved off of Bobby and turned to face him. He didn’t bother to hide how concerned he was. The crease between his brows and the hand that gently clutched Bobby’s knee were more than enough to show it. 

“Bobby, is everything okay? You don’t look too well,” Jinhwan asked and squeezed Bobby’s knee. “I won’t take 'I’m fine' as an answer. And no 'it’s nothing' too.” 

Bobby chuckled half-heartedly and looked away. He would usually be honest with his hyung if he came up to him like that, but how could he this time when the same hyung happened to be an important subject of the matter? 

Bobby was surprised that Jinhwan asked because he knew that Junhoe spent the night with Jinhwan. Junhoe could’ve vented everything out to Jinhwan already. That was how lovers worked, wasn’t it? Bobby’s stomach tightened. 

“It’s difficult, hyung,” he said weakly as a fake smiled etched his face. 

Before Bobby could say anything else, Junhoe and Hanbin ran over from the direction of the food stalls and the film crew stood up. Their plane was ready to board. 

Jinhwan tried to make sure that Bobby stayed with him throughout the walk to the airplane so they could talk, but Bobby was too quick to catch when he fled off. Jinhwan was later joined by Junhoe, his new flight buddy, and his focus moved to keeping Junhoe distracted from his fear of heights again. 

Bobby slotted himself into one of the farthest seats in the back in hopes that no one would bother him while he tried to collect himself. He stretched as far as the space provided and closed his eyes. Then, he heard a heavy weight fall onto the seat beside him. 

“Bobby, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” Bobby said and waved it off. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know that the only other rapper in his group came to apologize. Bobby wasn’t too upset about the outburst. It was reality that crushed him. 

“No, it’s not alright. I yelled at you and said things I shouldn’t have. I knew what you felt about… someone and I still spat out unnecessary things and made you the bad guy. What’s worse is that I left you, hyung. I left you alone…” Hanbin said as he reached for Bobby’s hand and squeezed it. He knew Bobby would react that way towards his apology. 

“I told you already, it’s alright. I’m not upset about that, okay? I’m actually glad that you told me. You... really should have told me earlier,” Bobby said, eyes finally open to stare at the seat in front. 

Hanbin pursed his lips and leaned over, resting his head against Bobby’s shoulder while he clung onto his arm. Whatever it was that actually bothered Bobby, Hanbin knew he couldn’t do anything about it. Bobby would learn of it eventually. 

There were a few seconds of silence before Hanbin spoke up again. 

“You know, I think you should really try that DK guy. He's hot, sexy and cute without the loud and annoying attachment. He’s like a 200% upgrade. Oh, and if you’re wondering, yes, I do know that you call him oppa. Very kinky, hyung,” Hanbin teased. 

What was consoling? Hanbin didn’t know. At least his attempt got Bobby laughing. 

“I was this close to agreeing to you, Bin. _This_ close.” 

.  
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_‘Is it wrong to wonder how long we will last? Whatever is this thing that we have...’_

Jinhwan’s thoughts kept him awake as he traced the bumps of the bodyguard’s knuckles. 

Jinhwan was used to listening to stories of relationships that never lasted long. They started up in a cliche setting and ended just the same, one of them finding that ignorance or clinginess was enough of a problem to break a bond. 

While Jinhwan never really had any romantic relationships, he knew that Junhoe did. He didn’t know how Junhoe’s last relationship ended, but by the look of his familiar interactions with Donghyuk, Junhoe seemed like a person who would love a specific person and love forever. 

Jinhwan hoped that was the case, because he really didn’t want to lose Junhoe. He dared to give hope at the nameless relationship between them. 

From a glance out the window, Jinhwan could tell that the plane was about to land soon. Junhoe had to wake up. Jinhwan’s plan to wake Junhoe up with a kiss failed when the announcer spoke up and Junhoe jolted awake almost immediately. In that situation, he woke up and got straight into his bodyguard mode. Jinhwan had to respect that. 

When iKON laid a foot in the airport, the bustle began. Left and right, people rushed over and crowded the area, making it hard for the team to make their way out. Pictures and videos were taken from countless of mobile phones and there was screaming everywhere. 

They all tried to get as close to the members as they could. Fortunately enough, Junhoe became a big fence and a guard dog all at once, efficiently keeping them out of the way with some help from the other crew. There were phones directed at him as well, and that made him uncomfortable. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible with all the members safe. 

It was his job, and much more than that. 

Suddenly, Jinhwan yelped from behind. Junhoe immediately whipped around. 

“Kim Jinhwan! Please, please take this gift! I beg you! Take it! Take it!” A teenage boy tugged at Jinhwan’s sleeve harshly and Jinhwan was jerked to the back and stumbled over. The gift mentioned was shove into his face but Jinhwan desperately tried to push it away. Junhoe quickly weaved through the crew and pushed the boy back. 

“Please stand back. No gifts at the airport,” Junhoe stated monotonously with an ice-cold glare. The boy didn’t cower though, he only stared back with his rejected gift held loosely in one hand. 

Junhoe paid the boy no attention and ducked down to offer Jinhwan a hand. 

“Are you okay?” He asked barely above a whisper, not letting anyone else hear the tenderness in his voice. 

“Y-Yeah.” Jinhwan took Junhoe hand and stood up, but he suddenly felt wobbly in his knees. 

“Uh, are you really alright?” Junhoe asked to reconfirm. Jinhwan looked up at him and for a flash of a second, Junhoe saw the exact same expression he did a few months ago in the bedding store. A fragile, scared Jinhwan. A Jinhwan he thought disappeared. 

It only lasted a short while, because Junhoe held his hand tightly and never let go, giving him a smile of encouragement. Just like that, Jinhwan’s eyes immediately narrow up to crescents as he smiled back. He was steady on his legs again like nothing ever happened. 

Jinhwan thought his nightmares were back, but he almost forgot something. 

_He had Junhoe now._

“You fucking bastard… How dare you push me away from my Jinhwan? You’re nuts, so fucking nuts. I’ve been trying to give this to Jinhwan for months,” the boy from earlier muttered. 

He watched as the whole scene played out, and he hated how Jinhwan rejected him but smiled so dearly at the other guy. It was unfair, he thought, that Jinhwan would treat a staff so well yet push away a fan. A fan that supported him and his group for years on end. 

“This is for getting in my fucking way!” 

The boy dug into his pocket and pulled out a sleek black gun. He pointed it right at Junhoe’s back, where he supposed Junhoe’s heart would be. 

Junhoe did turn, but he was too late. There wasn’t enough time to react. 

BANG! 

Junhoe’s eyes shot wide open. His breath was caught in his chest. He could only scream one thing. 

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“BOBBY!” 


	18. Something Unconditional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eomma, how do you know if you love someone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, bad news, guys. I've kinda ran out of stock for chapters.  
> I always pre-write them then when it's time to update, I'll do some editing before posting.  
> But I've been busy these past few months and I've lost steam at some point, so it's all gone.  
> I'm just giving a heads up just in case I don't update next week!
> 
> For now, enjoy this chapter! ...as much as that's possible. Idk how bodyguard stuff actually works so this is completely all in my imagination xD

“Eomma, how do you know if you love someone?”

…

_“Love? Now why is my little Jiwon asking about love all of the sudden?”_

_“Mm… because you always say you love me. Oh, Jiun-hyung and appa too!”_

_Mother chuckled._

_“Alright then. Jiwon, you know you love someone when you really care about them no matter where you are and what you do. You know you love someone when even if you fight, you still want what’s best for them and want them to be happy.”_

_“Like how you still take care of me even if I’m a bad boy sometimes?”_

_Mother chuckled again._

_“Yes, that’s right. But you’ve never really been a bad boy, sweetie. Don’t say things like that.”_

_“Okay eomma… Love is for family, right?”_

_“Oh sweetie… Love can be for anyone. As long as you support them, protect them and pray for them, they can be loved ones too.”_

_“Support, protect and pray? Okay! That means I love you too, eomma!”_

_Mother chuckled once again before she pulled her beloved child into a hug._

…

Bobby walked silently after Chanwoo, keeping his head down as he thought.

_‘Support, protect and pray… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop it, Junhoe.’_

Pursing his lips, Bobby looked up to the man in his thoughts. He stared with a soft gaze, feeling happy that Junhoe and Jinhwan found each other but his heart stung.

_‘I think I love you…’_

Bobby looked back down and took in a deep breath.

_‘Don’t stress out because of me. Be happy with him… I’m so sorry for troubling you...’_

Those were the words he wanted to tell Junhoe some time when he could manage to talk to him.

Bobby adjusted the cap on his head and laughed a little at himself. It was weird because he acted like he had been rejected, when Junhoe had done nothing like that. But he felt it, he felt the pain of not being loved back. The pain of your loved one loving someone else.

Bobby grunted. He hated himself for getting a little too emotional over a small thing. It _was_ a small thing. It was not like a one-sided crush was something rare.

Suddenly Jinhwan yelped, and Bobby looked over to see his hyung on the floor and another male was forcing something into his hands. Bobby was about to move, but then he didn’t have to, because Junhoe was two steps ahead of him. He already came to Jinhwan’s aid.

Bobby paid attention to the two. Junhoe’s stern look just a minute ago completely softened as he held Jinhwan’s hand. They exchanged smiles, they looked happy. Bobby was happy.

And that was when he spotted the intrusive male from earlier digging into his pocket. The glare the male had was an unusual one, and he didn’t look too right in the head to begin with.

When a gun appeared and it pointed to Junhoe, to the one he cared for and endlessly prayed for, Bobby’s reaction was automatic. He sprinted, leaped, and then…

BANG!

Bobby clenched his teeth as he stumbled after a bullet hit his thigh. It reminded him of one time before when he was shot almost similarly, but this time the metal stayed in him.

“BOBBY!” He heard Junhoe shout, but he didn’t turn. Looking up to the boy, Bobby saw that the gun was already back up and pointed to Junhoe again.

_’No…’_

He pushed the ground with his good leg and grabbed the boy’s arms, wrestling him to divert his aim and take him down. In the struggle, he heard the gun go off again, and the bullet dug into his side. Bobby took a sharp inhale before he was flung to the side, and his body met the cold tiled floor.

His heart rate increased drastically. His breathing became shallow; every inhale that was deeper hurting him more. He clenched his side and felt dampness. His hands were stained red.

The pain was deep. Bobby’s vision started to blur with tears. His ears buzzed slightly, not really hearing anything, but he could hear footsteps and see a tall person rush to the boy. With the proportions and stature, Bobby could instantly tell it was Junhoe. He blinked and his ears stopped buzzing too much, the screams of fear around the area finally reaching him.

Junhoe was smart and quick. He disarmed the boy in the blink of an eye, then caught the boy with his gangly arms behind him. Another swift movement and the boy was pinned down on the floor, Junhoe resting his weight on him while he wriggled helplessly underneath.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”

“Security!” Junhoe barked out. His jaw was stiff and his glare was intense; he was pissed. The men were slow. However, they finally arrived at the scene and Junhoe hastily passed the boy over for them to deal with.

“Bobby! Hyung, where did he shoot?” Came the panicked question from Hanbin who ran over with manager Yunhyeong. Bobby looked up at them. He tried to reply but the pain made him whimper instead. He clutched his leg and had a hand cupped over his side. That was hopefully enough to let them know.

“Crap, we need to get an ambulance,” Yunhyeong said as he fumbled for his phone.

“No, the hospital is not too far,” Junhoe suddenly spoke from behind them before he moved over and knelt at the other side of Bobby.

“Hyung…” He breathed, unsure of what to say. Bobby tried to smile at him, but it was crooked. The smile that tried to reach his eyes only made it tear up more. Junhoe’s own eyes were wide and his breath, though barely noticeable, was shaky. Bobby lifted his hand to rest it on Junhoe’s knee to say he was alright, but the action fell short when it revealed scarlet smeared all over his palm.

“I’m okay,” Bobby said weakly, but it was far from believable. Junhoe clicked his tongue and shook his head. Before Bobby could say anything back, the younger man hooked his arms under him and heaved him up, careful of the bullet wounds.

“Chanu, you’re taking the wheel. Flash the emergency lights,” Junhoe said over his shoulder before he dashed off with Bobby in his arms. Chanwoo had a moment to process the instructions before he sprinted after Junhoe, digging his pocket for the keys.

“Well I’m still calling the hospital!” Yunhyeong ran after them, not before beckoning the other two idols who were still partially shocked.

Jinhwan watched everything, but his feet were grounded. His heart beat rapidly and his throat was dry. His best friend was shot. He was brought away; rushed to the hospital. Junhoe left as well. His whole body trembled slightly, eyes watering for some reason that even his mind couldn’t process. He was frozen.

“Hyung, come on!” Hanbin said and he grabbed Jinhwan by the wrist and pulled him along, and Jinhwan could only follow like a ragdoll being dragged off.

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“How much damage?”

“A bullet in the thigh and his side. It didn’t hit any artery, thankfully. It didn’t hit any organs too. Just the flesh. It’s deep, so he needs surgery to remove them.”

“How long will it take to recover?”

“A few weeks, maybe. But it will be a few months before he can get back to performing.”

“Now that’s unfortunate.”

Yunhyeong had his head hung low, afraid to make eye contact with his employer, but Junhoe looked straight on, lips pressed into a solid line while he watched the boss’ angered, disapproving look.

 _’How dare he.’_ Junhoe’s jaw tightened again, fighting back his own anger. The man didn’t seem to be concerned about his rapper’s condition, but his recovery time instead.

“Where were you when that happened?” The question was directed to Junhoe now.

“I was with Kim Jinhwan.”

The CEO’s expression screamed disappointment, but a little smirk etched on his face.

“Now that has been a problem, hasn’t it?” Junhoe held his breath, eyes open and unblinking.

“He was already occupied, sajangnim. It’s not possible for him to react on time,” Yunhyeong supplied and he lifted his head, only to cower when a death glare was sent his way.

“Either way, you haven’t been doing your job, Goo Junhoe-ssi. Displaying obvious interaction with the members publicly, having unnecessary emotional connections with one of them… and now I hear that one member took a bullet for _you_? I wonder who is the bodyguard now.”

Junhoe zipped his lips. He couldn’t defend himself. The CEO sighed.

“I’m sorry, but it’s been proven that hiring you for this job was a mistake. I can’t have you continue this.”

“But-”

“No buts.” The man cut Yunhyeong off immediately. “I’ve already hired new bodyguards. Three of them, in fact. They will start off when Bobby is discharged. Meanwhile, I want you to temporarily move in with them, Yunhyeong-ssi.”

“Who are the new guards?” Junhoe asked after staying quiet for long enough. The CEO stared at him for a second or two, before he called for his secretary to bring in the new guards along with their chief, who was also Junhoe’s.

Three men entered the room in black slacks and black button-ups, each having a pair of shades over their eyes. Another man came in soon after with similar black slacks, but his cotton shirt was white and pristine and his sharp eyes were uncovered.

“Deputy Lee,” the CEO greeted with a nod, and received a similar nod in response.

“Truth be told, I’ve never been called back to a company this early after deploying a guard,” the tall man named Seunghoon spoke, a hint of disappointment in his tone. He gave a pointed look to Junhoe and Junhoe looked away, his bottom lip bitten slightly.

“Do introduce these fine men that you’ve brought in here.” Seunghoon’s eyes lingered at Junhoe for a second more before he looked back at the CEO and smirked.

“They are a few of my star pupils in the training center, just like how Junhoe-ssi was,” Seunghoon said and didn’t spare a glance at Junhoe who flinched.

“I introduce Kang Seungyoon, Song Minho and Kim Jinwoo.”

At the sound of their names, all three pulled their sunglasses off and revealed their faces, all of which were familiar to Junhoe.

“It’s a pleasure to be here, Yang-sajangnim. We’ll be on our best of performances without fail. That is our promise,” the one in the middle, Kang Seungyoon, said.

Junhoe looked across from face to face, examining the features of his old training buddies. Even though he was younger, Junhoe had always been a step ahead of them at the training center. Always a little more, a little better. He was respected by those three and was always made as their benchmark.

However now that Junhoe stood before them as they took over his job due to his incompetence, all he could feel was shame. Neither one of them had bat an eyelash at him. They were serious; far more ready for the job than Junhoe ever was.

“I’m glad to hear. Deputy Lee, thank you. The best of luck to all of you. You are all excused.”

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Six men exited the CEO’s room silently, only the shuffling of shoes against the floor filling the tenseness in the air. Yunhyeong’s hand was placed firmly against his best friend’s back as he guided Junhoe out, a silent way of saying “It will be fine.” They were all standing at the lobby when Yunhyeong spoke.

“What will you do with Junhoe?”

The tall man turned to Yunhyeong with a small smile on his face.

“He won’t lose anything, don’t worry. He’ll just be taken back to the center where his training will continue, but his certificate will remain valid. His problems aren’t physical or mental related… only emotional,” Seunghoon explained, side-eyeing the deflated bodyguard, and his smile quirked into a smirk.

“Junhoe, I’ll be expecting you in three days. I’ll see you then.” Seunghoon turned his back towards the group and looked over his shoulder.

“You three, don’t fail me, please.”

“Yes, sir.” Seunghoon walked out the building soon after.

With the deputy chief gone, the three new bodyguards relaxed. Yunhyeong relaxed too.

“I’m sorry, Junhoe-yah,” Minho said quietly to his dongsaeng and moved to him, rubbing his back comfortingly. Junhoe gave him a half-hearted smile.

“It’s okay. It was my fault. I-” Junhoe huffed and ran a hand through his hair. “I should’ve known better.”

“Lee Hoony told us about the incident. And… the other stuff too. You weren’t hurt, right?” The eldest of the three asked, forehead creased with concern. Junhoe shook his head.

“Nah.” Junhoe partially wished he was, though. At least if he did get injured, he had a little something to justify his slack in performance. “Thanks for the concern though, Jinu-hyung.”

“Oh, that there is at least some good news.”

“So it’s Kim Jinhwan?”

Junhoe stiffened, heart skipping a beat when he heard the name of his beloved client. The client he loved so much, who loved him back just as much. He missed Jinhwan tenfold. Every time he heard someone mention the older, his chest grew heavy with longing and regret.

“Yeah,” Junhoe muttered with a short glance to Seungyoon, the latter tilting his head slightly in thought before he nodded to himself.

“We’ll take care of him. That’s our promise to you,” Seungyoon said and smiled reassuringly. Junhoe’s smile was lopsided, but he felt some weight lift off his shoulders. He uttered a thank you to his hyung before he hugged all three of them.

Seungyoon, somehow giving off the feeling that he was the leader of the trio, announced that they had to leave to pack their things. After shaking hands and muttering wishes of good luck, they parted ways.

“It’s time to go, Junhoe,” Yunhyeong said to Junhoe who was staring at the big YG logo stuck on the face of the building. He turned and walked away, knowing he might never walk into that building ever again.

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Jinhwan jolted awake, sweat rolling down the sides of his face and he panted. He checked the time; it was 1 o’clock in the morning. He sighed. That was the second time waking up that night. He turned over to the body sleeping soundly beside him, undisturbed.

He looked at the peaceful face of his leader who was too deep in slumber to be bothered by Jinhwan’s moves or sounds. Jinhwan smiled slightly, glad that Hanbin finally decided to rest after god knows how long worrying over Bobby, iKON, iKonics and the company. Jinhwan knew Hanbin would start worrying again once he woke up, so he hoped that Hanbin slept as long as he could that night.

The dorm was always quiet at night, but it never really felt empty. Now, though, it felt so big and both Jinhwan and Hanbin have been feeling incredibly lonely. They couldn’t help it. From four, they lost two of the inhabitants in the dorm; two of the noisiest.

Hanbin had slept in his room because he didn’t want to be left alone. No matter how much he appreciated Hanbin being there for him… it just wasn’t the same.

Jinhwan rolled back to his end of the bed. The pillow that he had been hugging tightly was brought up to his face, and he pressed his nose into it. He breathed in the scent that was slowly fading away by day, and he let out a choked sob.

“I miss you…” He whispered softly, letting a tear escape his eye.

He buried his face into the pillow, holding firmly onto the only thing Junhoe left behind before he disappeared, leaving Jinhwan needing him more than ever.

“I miss you so much, June.”


	19. Stupid Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They may be separated, but their hearts remained connected and their memories never disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy another chapter, ey? It's been so long, I'm sorry.  
> If you all follow my twitter, then you know what's up.  
> ANYWAYS, here ya go, a new chapter! I would have added more description but I had to rush for... reasons.  
> Anyway, sorry for the wait!

“Thank you, sir. Now _please_ make your way back home, it’s far past visiting hours. I will make sure to call you when he wakes up. I promise.”

_Promise._

It was a heavier word than what most people took it for. Junhoe betrayed that word. He felt like he did, at the very least, break an unsaid promise to the person he loved. Similarly so to the good friend that laid motionless on the hospital bed beside him. Small, silent breaths and the beeps of a heart rate monitor being two of the few signs that he was indeed not dead, just unconscious.

Junhoe sighed softly as he stared at his friend’s face one more time, somehow longing to see the bunny-teeth grin back on his face, before he nodded to the tired nurse and stood up from his seat. He gave Bobby’s hand one more squeeze before he let go, making his way to the door.

“Don’t lose that,” Junhoe warned the young lady, who shook a bit at his accidental harsh tone and clutched the slip of paper with Junhoe’s number on it closer to her before Junhoe stepped out.

Junhoe drove back to his old apartment—where he stayed before the YG Entertainment company asked for him to move—and entered a cold, empty place. His luggage was half unpacked, and most of it was on the floor or everywhere else other than their proper storage places.

Junhoe couldn’t care less. His apartment was a clear depiction of how messed up he was in his head.

The man waded through the clutter and made his way to his room, which was in no better condition, and dropped onto the bed that was far bigger than he would like. It was big yet empty, comfortable yet uninviting. Junhoe would only lay there if he needed to sleep. Otherwise, he would be at the hospital accompanying Bobby or at the training center working until he was forced to stop.

Junhoe tried to not think that he was lonely. He shoved aside any thought of holding someone lovely, petite and warm. He played upbeat songs nonstop when a certain gentle and melodic voice would get stuck on replay in his head. He would cuss every time he remembered small hands, soft hair and a heart-shaped mole.

He missed Jinhwan so much.

Junhoe flicked through the contact list on his phone and tapped on one number.

[ iKON Kim Jinhwan ]

His thumb hovered over two icons; one of a phone and the other for messaging. He was so close, thumb twitching to tap on either one, to find out how the other half of his soul was doing, to know if he was alright or if he needed Junhoe.

Junhoe would never admit this, but it was him that was in need of Jinhwan, he believed. The solace to his mind, the warmth to his heart and the filler to his soul. And maybe now he had none.

Junhoe locked his phone and tossed it away, not caring about the clang of noise it created wherever it landed. When he woke up, he would find it again, but now he just wanted to shut his mind from the world.

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“Jinhwan-hyung! Hanbin-hyung! Wait up!”

Hanbin lifted his brow questioningly and both of the idols turn to see the soloist DK scampering towards them. Donghyuk’s brows were knit together as he stood there and bowed, acknowledging young Chanwoo who was there as well.

“I heard about the whole thing and flew all the way here. Is Bobby-hyung alright? How bad was it? Is he still unconscious?” Donghyuk began firing questions and Hanbin shook his head and chuckled. 

“Yeah he’s fine. In fact… three, two one.” Hanbin counted, and when he reached one, Bobby’s room door opened slowly and Bobby appeared on a wheelchair with Yunhyeong pushing it.

“Oh, hey Dongii. What’s up?” Bobby asked, bunny smile on. He looked fine. Maybe the few bandages around him were noticeable but they didn’t look bad. Bobby was smiling too, so Donghyuk sighed heavily as he stumbled over and knelt at Bobby’s side, clinging onto the wheelchair’s armrest.

“What’s up? What? Forget about me, what’s up with you? How are you doing?” Donghyuk asked, perching his chin on the thinly cushioned armrest, eyes wide as they looked up at Bobby.

Bobby laughed, but then he flinched a little. Donghyuk was about to say something but Bobby silenced him by patting him lightly on the head. “I’m fine. The hospital already discharged me. Just a little healing left and I’m good to perform.”

Donghyuk smiled but Hanbin who took a step towards them frowned. “You mean in two months,” Hanbin corrected, lifting a brow when Bobby threw a wry smile at him.

“Whatever, but I’m still okay,” Bobby grinned at Donghyuk and the latter smiled back, springing to his feet soon after.

“Can I push, manager Song?” Donghyuk asked politely, and Yunhyeong would have dismissed him if it were not for the glint in Donghyuk’s eyes that felt like a silent plead. Yunhyeong didn’t feel the need to question. That look seemed rather familiar to him.

“Okay okay.”

Donghyuk cheered and took the handles of the wheelchair as the whole team began to walk and chatter about all sorts. Songs, performance plans, guesting on TV shows; everyone was into the conversation, even Chanwoo.

All of them had decent smiles on their faces. All except Jinhwan, whose eyes were busy searching for someone who would never appear.

“Stop that, hyung. You won’t find him,” Hanbin whispered right beside Jinhwan, sorrow flashing across his eyes before he tried a nonchalant look.

“But Bobby said that he always visits!” Jinhwan hissed, features tensing to stop any concerning expression from showing on his face.

Hanbin pursed his lips tight and took a deep breath. “He just doesn’t want to see us anymore.”

Hanbin bit his tongue when he said that, hoping that what he said was untrue, but then it had a possibility to be true so Hanbin hated the burning feeling in his chest.

Jinhwan on the other hand stayed silent, jaws clenched and eyes soulless.

The group exited the building soon after, five on feet and one on wheels, then they were met with three men by the transporting van.

”Who are those?” Donghyuk asked, raising his eyebrows as iKON’s manager lead the group to the unfamiliar people. “I saw them when I rushed in… Are they-”

“Junhoe’s replacements,” Hanbin answered quickly, barely looking at the three new guards.

“June can never be replaced,” Jinhwan said through gritted teeth and Donghyuk’s eyebrows furrowed. Hanbin shot a glare at Jinhwan and wanted to tell him to, for once, stop being so emotional and accept what had happened, but then Bobby cut in.

“Yeah, never.”

Hanbin was at a loss of words.

“We’re not here to replace him, Hanbin-ssi,” Seungyoon spoke up as he leaned comfortably against the driver’s side door. He had been listening, because his ears were just that sharp and the group was not that far away from him. Jinwoo had an apologetic expression on his face as he walked up to get Bobby while Minho opened the trunk to store the wheelchair.

“We’re here for Junhoe’s sake. He trusted us to help him take care of the three of you. We’re here because we’re his friends, not because of the CEO,” Seungyoon added, pulling his shades over his eyes. He smirked at Hanbin before moving to hop into the driver’s seat. The window was brought down, so Seungyoon rested his elbow on the frame.

Hanbin frowned slightly but did not hesitate in getting into the car, followed by the others, Bobby with some help. Yunhyeong and Chanwoo used another car.

“Will Junhoe ever be back?” Donghyuk asked as he stood outside the van. Jinhwan stayed silent and listened closely, hopeful, even though he knew he should not have been.

“No, sorry,” Jinwoo offered a small smile to Donghyuk. “It’s against the agency’s policy to have a guard return to their former clients after being... fired per se.”

Jinhwan’s heart was not the only one that shrunk. Hanbin slumped in his seat and Bobby sighed.

“Oh… alright then. I guess I’ll see you all some other time,” Donghyuk said and pulled up a big smile to cheer the others up, waving goodbye to them as well. The response was as expected, all down and gloomy. He mouthed a “get well soon” to Bobby—Bobby mouthed back “thank you”—before he walked to his manager who had been waiting in a CRV nearby.

The van soon drove off, a small car following right behind, back to the YG permises.

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“Junhoe, that’s enough for today.”

Junhoe froze on the gym mat, hands still intertwined underneath his head and feet still secured by a metal bar. He looked up to the expressionless face of his superior and returned the exact same expression.

“Just a little more,” Junhoe replied curtly, heaving his upper half off the mat to continue his sit-ups, but then a hand pushed firmly onto his chest and he fell back.

“Enough.” Seunghoon stared at Junhoe with challenging eyes and Junhoe could only stare back for a moment before he turned elsewhere. Junhoe grunted, slipping his feet free from the metal bar before he sat up and wiped the sweat off his face.

“Why?” Junhoe asked, voice low, not looking up.

Seunghoon slowly lowered himself right beside Junhoe, sitting with his back leaned against the wall of horizontal metal bars, facing Junhoe. “You are my star pupil. My treasured asset. Overworking will cause damage, you know that.”

Junhoe bent over to stuff his face into his hands, panting heavily. Seunghoon watched this with an amused expression.

“Just how long have you been with this person to end up so depressed like this? The Junhoe I knew, though undeniably a softy at heart, was never this… emotional,” Seunghoon asked, lips quirked up slightly when Junhoe shifted uncomfortably.

“We’re not even a thing,” Junhoe said, running his fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.

“Hmm?” Seunghoon prompted, truly curious.

“We’re not a thing, Dep. He wanted us to be- hell, we both wanted us to be a thing, but you know how it is.” Junhoe groaned and leaned back on his hands, still not meeting Seunghoon’s eyes, but the older did not mind.

Seunghoon sighed. “You played with forbidden love, Junhoe. You should have expected this…” He got up and dusted his pants, smiling down at Junhoe when the returned trainee finally looked up at him.

“If you ever want to see him again, at least take care of yourself first, yeah?”

The deputy chief shot Junhoe a dashing smile before he turned to leave. Junhoe was left to think about his options, and if there was one that gave him a chance at seeing Jinhwan again, then he would take it. In the end, he listened to his superior and called in a day.

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Knock knock knock.

Minho opened the door to the room he shared with his colleagues and blinked down at the late night visitor.

“Jinhwan-ssi? Do you need something?” Minho asked, tilting his head slightly.

Jinhwan fidgeted with his fingers before he looked up at Minho, face contorted with nervousness. “I… I can’t sleep,” he mumbled before he let his hands drop to his sides.

Minho’s eyebrows shot up a little. _’Is this what Junhoe has to deal with? But then again… these two were in lo- ah, it can’t be…’_

“Oh, do you need anything then? But if you want to sleep in here, you’re gonna have to cram in with two other guys. It isn’t the best condition to sleep in, you know.”

“No, no!” Jinhwan quickly hissed, shaking his head just to strengthen his words. “I… want something else. I _need_ something else.”

“And what would that be?” Minho questioned, shifting to lean against the door frame. He heard a small shift of cloth behind him, so he glanced over his shoulder to see Seungyoon partially awake. Seungyoon quirked a brow at him but Minho just shook his head before he turned back to Jinhwan.

“I want- I need to see... Junhoe.”

“Oh, uh,” Minho rubbed at his chin as he thought. “That’s a little… difficult to help with.”

Jinhwan clenched his fists. “B-but I need to see him…”

Minho smiled wryly. “Jinhwan-ssi, I can’t-”

“Mino will be glad to bring you to him,” Seungyoon suddenly spoke, walking over to the other two and peering over Minho’s shoulder. Both Jinhwan and Minho looked at Seungyoon, shocked that he said what he did.

“But Yoon, what if-” Seungyoon shook his head. Minho gave him a questioning gaze, but Seungyoon only replied with a gaze of his own. The gaze was long, tender, and somehow heat rushed to Minho’s cheeks and made him look away. Jinhwan watched them but he was confused.

Seungyoon turned to Jinhwan with a sleepy smile. He looped an arm around Minho’s waist and rested his chin on Minho’s shoulder. Albeit a little hesitant, Minho leaned his head against Seungyoon’s and closed his eyes. The scene looked so intimate to Jinhwan.

“We’ve had our own share of stupid stories… and all we needed was another chance. If what you’re asking for is that exact chance, then yes, Mino can get you to him.”

Jinhwan looked alternatingly between the two faces in awe, and when Minho gave him a nod, he could not ever be more grateful.

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The ringing of the doorbell snapped Junhoe back into reality.

“What the fuck?” He uttered as he glanced at the clock that showed the time was a little past midnight. He closed his notebook and stood up from his chair, exiting his room to get the door.

He was ready to bark at whoever was crazy enough to visit him at those hours, and so he unlocked the door and twisted the handle, pulling the door open with a big tug.

“Who-... o-oh…”

Junhoe’s mouth fell agape, his whole body froze and his heart threatened to pop out of his chest.

Jinhwan stood there right beyond threshold, body wrapped in a sweater that was not his, flowing down to his thighs, and shorts that were barely long enough to pass the sweater’s length. He reminded Junhoe of the warm hugs and shared beds, warm smiles and shared mornings.

“Hey…” A voice as smooth as honey slipped past lips that were barely smiling, and Junhoe felt week to the knees.

Junhoe's voice was stuck in his throat, but he forced himself to say something. Anything.

“J-Jinanie…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slipped my WINNER otp in here mueheh...
> 
> So... if you guys read my recent JunBin, you'll know that I mentioned feeling the need to write angst.  
> Ha. Ha. Ha. I wonder which fic is gonna end up that way.


	20. Long For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you actually chosen to move on...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm sorry this took a whole lot longer than it was supposed to.  
> One, I was busy yeah.  
> Two, I was... kinda pressured for this chap? Idk coz you guys were looking forward to this I was constantly asking myself... "Is this enough?"
> 
> Shrugs. It's here now and I still don't know how I feel about it but I hope it's enough to compensate for the patience!  
> *Also it's very late right now, so do excuse my mistakes. My brain may or may not be alright at the moment. Hahaha

“Take all the time you need. I’ll wait in the car,” Minho said and walked off without sparing a glance at the other two. His black shoes clicked against the grey floor tiles, the sound slowly reducing to nothing once Minho was gone.

Junhoe blinked at the spot where Minho stood before his eyes slowly made their way to the person in front of him. Slow, because he was careful. Slow, because he was scared.

Jinhwan stood there, feeling like his feet were nailed to the ground, heavy and unmovable. But Junhoe was right there, just a few steps away, and so he dragged his feet and stumbled, tripping on those very two feet, and then falling into Junhoe’s arms that opened on instinct.

Jinhwan’s weight was easy to hold, but Junhoe’s unpreparedness made them both fall over, landing seated onto the cold tile flooring. Jinhwan was in Junhoe’s arms, so he stayed there, clinging onto Junhoe’s shirt as Junhoe held him still. Jinhwan buried his face into the crook of Junhoe’s neck. He paid attention to the warmth he missed far too much.

“Shit… shit. W-why are you here?” Junhoe asked, hands hovering over Jinhwan’s sides awkwardly, forehead creased as his mind ran countless of thoughts jumbled with a chaotic array of emotions.

“I missed you…” Jinhwan’s voice was soft, almost too quiet for an average human’s hearing, but the words echoed in Junhoe’s ears and resonated in his head.

Junhoe’s chest stung, breathing uncontrollable only to be able to control his tear ducts instead. His hand smoothed over the small, familiar back he once held onto before and he pulled Jinhwan closer, deepening the embrace.

His chest pained with something he had yet to name, and his throat was dry. Junhoe didn’t realize when it happened, but right after that, a pair of lips sealed his and he was enveloped in warmth that he had been longing for; familiar, calming and sweet. A feeling he called love.

Or perhaps he called it Jinhwan.

Junhoe’s lips trembled as he tried to stay where he was, bearing the feeling of Jinhwan’s lips against his. Junhoe was in a state of shock, maybe, because he was not responding as he usually would. Jinhwan must have noticed, because the gliding of lips came to an abrupt stop and he pulled away.

Jinhwan looked up into Junhoe’s eyes, the latter’s eyes were unfocused and full of hesitation. Jinhwan’s own eyes began to well up. “I-I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Junhoe. I’m so sorry…”

At those broken-voiced apologies, Junhoe snapped out.

“No no, shhh,” Junhoe hushed him, but his own heart was wild, banging like a bull against his ribs until his chest burned and his lungs constricted. Junhoe pushed Jinhwan off of himself to get up, but then he pulled Jinhwan along with him.

Jinhwan was immediately enveloped in another tight hug, Junhoe’s nose buried into Jinhwan’s bronze hair as Jinhwan snaked his arms around Junhoe’s middle, and then he held onto Junhoe for dear life. They stayed like that for a while, both not budging from their positions like statues. They remained that way until it became too long, the silence too deafening.

“June?” Jinhwan mumbled against Junhoe’s chest as he tried to find Junhoe’s eyes, but Junhoe was not looking at him. The former bodyguard had his gaze pinned elsewhere, his thoughts probably distant as well. He didn’t respond to Jinhwan’s call, so Jinhwan shifted uncomfortably in his arms.

Junhoe finally blinked out from his daze—entertaining thoughts which may or may have not been torturing ones.

“Uh- oh. Sorry,” Junhoe mumbled as he let Jinhwan go. He looked right into Jinhwan’s eyes and Jinhwan pulled up a tender smile for him, but it scared him. He turned away.

“Are you hungry, hyung? Thirsty? Do you need anything?” Junhoe started asking as he walked off to his small kitchen without waiting for Jinhwan’s answer. Jinhwan hesitated before he followed Junhoe, quickening his steps because Junhoe’s long strides were also rushed.

“No, I don’t really-“

“Have you been eating well, hyung?” Junhoe cut in sharply without bothering to look at Jinhwan, busying himself by rummaging through his cupboards.

“I-…”

“You haven’t,” Junhoe seethed when he intercepted to finish Jinhwan’s sentence. He pulled out a pack of cookies, held it in his hand and slammed his fist down on the counter—unintentionally breaking a cookie or two.

“Has no one been taking care of you?” Junhoe nearly shouted his question, his blood boiling right under the surface of his self-control, and it made Jinhwan flinch. “Y-you felt so t-thin…” He continued, but this time his voice was dreading to break.

Junhoe had held Jinhwan in his arms too many times before this to know what a well-fed, well-maintained Jinhwan felt like. The Jinhwan now still fit him, still as perfectly as before, but the slight difference was still apparent for Junhoe. He felt the slimmer limbs, sunken cheeks and weakened body. It clenched at Junhoe’s heart, and he mentally blamed himself over and over for it.

“It’s not your fault…”

Jinhwan spoke, knowing well enough that was in the man’s thoughts. He walked right up behind Junhoe and gripped onto Junhoe’s shirt, fingers curling into the fabric and forehead pressed against Junhoe’s back.

“It’s mine… I chose to push away my meals. I chose to push away everyone. They tried to help me but… but I didn’t let them. I’m sorry…”

Junhoe wanted to hiss back and be the one to apologize instead, but somehow he couldn’t. He braced against the counter to rest his weight, his legs growing weaker at every small note and breath that slipped Jinhwan’s lips.

The kitchen was filled with silence again and Jinhwan could not take it anymore. He came to finally see Junhoe again, to talk to him, to hold him, but Junhoe had built a wall so high around him. The barrier was built with guilt and frustration, but Jinhwan was fighting through it.

“Fall over or step harder, right?”

Junhoe’s eyes widened at the familiar quote. They were his words.

“That’s what you told me. You also said mistakes are made to learn from. I’m sorry to say, June-yah, but you can be one big hypocrite sometimes,” Jinhwan uttered, but there was no spite as a lopsided smile tugged at his lips.

Junhoe let out a breathy chuckle and lazily hung his head back. “Yeah, I know.”

There was a pause before, “Minho is waiting for you, Jinhwan-hyung.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jinhwan stated firmly, but then Junhoe fished his phone out from his pocket. Jinhwan didn’t want to leave yet. He wanted to stay to talk things out with Junhoe, to rebuild what might have been broken, so he attempted to snatch the phone away.

The action was short-lived when Junhoe caught Jinhwan’s hand in his. He turned towards Jinhwan as his other hand fumbled in search for Minho’s number, pressing call once he found it.

Jinhwan was about to protest, but then when Junhoe held the phone up to his ear, he brought Jinhwan’s hand to his lips and kissed the little bumps of his knuckles. Jinhwan stopped immediately and pursed his lips.

“Hello? Mino-hyung… Nah, everything’s okay… Mhm… How’d you know? … Heh. Thanks, hyung. I’ll send him back first thing in the morning.”

When the call ended, Junhoe belatedly realized something.

“You don’t mind staying the night here right? …With me?”

Jinhwan’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked away, but on his face was a small smile. “Yeah… I’ve… been wanting to for so long. I missed you.”

Junhoe gave Jinhwan a hesitant smile, the smile looking like a smirk instead. Jinhwan’s hand that was still in his was given a light squeeze. “I’ve only got these cookies left for you. And it’s not too late so… we can watch this movie I’ve been wanting to watch.”

“Couldn’t watch it without me?” Jinhwan teased, and Junhoe gave him a soft laugh in return.

“Maybe.”

 _’Most definitely,’_ Junhoe stopped himself from saying. He cupped Jinhwan’s cheeks and ran his thumb along the older’s cheekbone, resisting the urge to just lean down and kiss him, then moved away to get the movie setup ready, leaving Jinhwan hanging unknowingly.

There was not much to do, and everything that had to be done could be completed by Junhoe alone, but Jinhwan still wanted to help. Jinhwan handled the clearing of the place while Junhoe set up the movie. Jinhwan cleaned up the area around the living room—and he actually put the items at their designated places instead of Junhoe who just shoved them elsewhere—and brought a blanket to the couch.

How Jinhwan knew where everything went, Junhoe could not tell. Maybe Jinhwan knew him that much already, or Junhoe could just be a predictable person.

Finally, they both complete their tasks and settle down on the worn, two-seater couch, a small unnecessary gap between them as Junhoe laid the blanket over their legs. Junhoe sat stiffly after he played the movie and Jinhwan could not help but notice the distance between them.

Jinhwan let the movie opening play as he slowly scooted closer to Junhoe, their thighs touching and arms pressed together lightly. Junhoe held his breath and casted a tight smile to Jinhwan, arm snaking around the older’s shoulders and resting weirdly across them.

Jinhwan frowned. Junhoe had already turned back to the screen but Jinhwan was not able to focus on the movie at all. _’Something’s not right..._ Jinhwan thought because as far as he knew, movie nights never felt this… tense.

Jinhwan thought for a while, eyes on the bright screen of the TV but thoughts elsewhere. He thought of the crooked smiles, the unanswered “I missed you”s and the unreciprocated kiss. The corners of his eyes began to sting.

_’Have you actually chosen to move on…?’_

Jinhwan didn’t want to cry, so he buried himself into Junhoe’s side and hid his face in Junhoe’s chest, hoping that the warmth of Junhoe would calm him, but then Junhoe moved away and slid off the couch. Just as a tear finally slipped out of Jinhwan’s eye, Junhoe came back with the pack of cookies from earlier.

“I almost forgot these,” Junhoe mumbled as he held the packet out for Jinhwan to take.

Jinhwan only stared at him, eyes glossy and cheek stained by a tear trail, and Junhoe stared questioningly back, a cold sweat breaking out. Jinhwan kept the eye contact as he took the cookies and placed them at the coffee table, then turning to Junhoe completely with his legs crossed on the couch.

“Koo Junhoe,” Jinhwan began, voice shaky but he was determined to settle things. “I love you.”

The suddenness made Junhoe choke on his spit, but then the coughing turned into small, painful bursts of exasperated laughter before he sunk into the backrest, catching his breath. He closed his eyes tight, but even as much as he willed it, he couldn’t stop a tear from rolling down his cheek. Another drop followed soon after, so Junhoe took a sharp inhale, scolding himself for letting another tear slip.

It was a long second before he sobbed once, and then as he spoke he slowly leaned forward onto Jinhwan’s shoulder. “I love you too… so much.”

The weight was gradually lifting from Jinhwan’s chest and Jinhwan cradled Junhoe’s head against him. His hand gently caressed Junhoe’s nape. “Then why are you holding back?”

“I can’t be with you, hyung.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s gonna be difficult for us to-“

“Bullshit.” 

“You won’t be happy with m-“

“Bullshit.”

The next thing Junhoe knew was that he was kissing and being kissed, alternating, and not in sync. Jinhwan grunted at the mess and gripped at Junhoe’s hair to pull him closer, Junhoe complying immediately. Just like that, Junhoe hoisted Jinhwan up his lap and finally they kissed right, lips talking the same language as they pass warm breaths, gentle sighs and wet sounds.

“You’re a mess,” Jinhwan stated in between pants and let his forehead clash with Junhoe’s.

“You haven’t seen my room,” Junhoe casually joked, a tired but genuine smile on his lips.

Jinhwan raised an eyebrow. “Was that an invitation?” Jinhwan giggled when the tips of Junhoe’s ears turned red.

“Y-you should at least eat first, hyung…”

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The air was finally light around the two as they chatted while properly watching the movie, missing a good chunk of it already. Junhoe almost made a mess when he opened the pack of cookies—Jinhwan sighed—but then he fed Jinhwan, pecking the older’s lips once in a while.

Slowly, they warmed up to each other again, cuddling on the couch and watching romance movies just like how they did back at the dorm in Jinhwan’s room.

Unlike around half an hour ago, Junhoe could not keep his hands off of his hyung. If they were not pressed together in a hug then Junhoe would lean against Jinhwan. If Jinhwan found him heavy, he would shift to lie on Jinhwan’s lap. If he was not doing that, then he would at least hold Jinhwan’s hand.

“My bodyguard is such a baby,” Jinhwan teased. Junhoe scowled, but the glare that came along with it was directed to the TV screen instead.

“It’s your fault I get all squishy like this,” Junhoe grumbled. “I was never really like this, I swear. You just happened to come along… like a… like a rose.”

“A rose?” Jinhwan tilted his head, not getting the connection of what Junhoe was saying. Junhoe bit his lip in thought as he fiddled with Jinhwan’s little fingers.

“To put it simply, you’re the colors to my day… the sweet scent of solace… the precious piece of myself that I’m afraid to lose because you’re too valuable. You’re my symbol of love; patient, passionate and unconditional. And you’re so beautiful, Jinanie. You take my breath away so easily, and maybe I mean it literally when we kiss and you leave me gasping for air.”

Junhoe suddenly cringed at himself for how sappy his poetic mind made him sound. He turned to Jinhwan expecting to see him on the brink of laughter or cringing as well, but Jinhwan was all red in the face instead.

Junhoe laughed. “Did I mention how I love it when you’re all rosy and red?” He winked and Jinhwan blushed harder, hitting Junhoe lightly in the knee.

From being love-sick, Jinhwan was now filled with so much love. He was too flustered to say anything, so he cupped Junhoe’s face and pulled him in for another kiss to shut him up from teasing.

The movie eventually ended and the couple cleared things up before heading to Junhoe’s room. Since they have both showered before their meeting, they opted to head straight to bed. Jinhwan took his shirt off to wear one of his favorite button-ups that belonged to Junhoe. He swam in the white cotton fabric and Junhoe looked at him with heart eyes as he sat on the bed.

However, Jinhwan did not do his first few buttons, so the shirt fell off his shoulder and exposed his warm, smooth skin. Junhoe felt his heart skip a beat.

“Jinanie…” Junhoe murmured with his voice deep and gentle. “Will you let me hold you closer?”

Jinhwan hummed in question but he nodded, holding his hand out to Junhoe, the palm hidden behind the long sleeves. Instead of taking Jinhwan’s hand, he tackled the elder male to the mattress and showered his face with kisses.

“Will you let me love you deeper?” Junhoe whispered against the fair skin of Jinhwan’s neck and turned his head a little to place a soft kiss right under Jinhwan’s jaw. Jinhwan shuddered at the feeling.

“Will you let me kiss every single inch of you, my love?” Junhoe peppered light kisses down Jinhwan’s neck, advancing yet holding back as well as he waited for Jinhwan’s answer.

Jinhwan could not help the warmth that rose up to his cheeks, dusting them with red as the heat traveled south at the same time. He felt every brush of Junhoe’s chapped lips as they explore the expanse of his throat, wanting them to travel further but his clothing prevented that.

“Yes, June-yah… Kiss me,” Jinhwan murmured as his loving gaze met Junhoe’s darker ones, and Junhoe obeyed immediately.

Jinhwan’s eyes slowly flutter close as Junhoe leaned in and pressed his lips onto the softer, moist lips of Jinhwan. They moved slow and firm, feeling each other’s warmth through the thin skin of their lips. When Jinhwan’s wet muscle pressed against Junhoe, the younger gave access and let it slip into his mouth, dancing and teasing with his own tongue.

Their heads tilted to deepen their passionate kiss, warm air that escaped the nose tickling each other’s cheeks, hands in hair or at the nape. Jinhwan moaned softly as Junhoe suckled on his tongue. Soon enough, he pulled away for breath and Junhoe took the chance to catch the older’s bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling and rolling it until it became swollen and red.

Junhoe finally let go once he was satisfied, only to kiss up Jinhwan’s chin and jaw, down his neck then lingering at the juncture where Jinhwan’s neck and shoulder connected.

“Junhoe, wait,” Jinhwan stopped Junhoe with a hand to his cheek, and Junhoe looked up cautiously. “Don’t mark me where the world can see it.”

Junhoe’s eyes widened in realization before Junhoe grinned sheepishly. “Sorry,” he said, sounding like a five-year-old that was just caught red handed. Jinhwan giggled and pulled him in for a quick peck before staring intensely into Junhoe’s eyes.

Jinhwan’s next words made Junhoe’s stomach flip and his pants tightened instantly.

“Undress me, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like I wanna ask if y'all want smut but then I feel like I'm gonna get a buncha screams of YESSSS again...
> 
> >.>
> 
> so...


	21. Keep Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He will fight for it, and Jinhwan wants Junhoe to do the same, only Junhoe was scared. He loved Jinhwan too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look an update on the 1st of 2019. Happy New Year, guys!
> 
> This update's for all of you of course uwu but I added a small smexy part as a gift to my smexy-loving friend xD  
> It's not much but I hope you like it Jay <3
> 
> Where's the secret Chapter 21? It's right [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948350) Be warned, it's smexy... lol
> 
>  

Noon was two hours away when Jinhwan woke up. His eyelids were heavy as he blinked out the remnants of sleep, his eyes glancing around but not focusing. His hands were wrapped around something large and fluffy, lacking heat when Jinhwan buried himself into it deeper, so he knew immediately that it was not the person whom he fell asleep with.

It was not Junhoe.

Jinhwan peered over the pillow to see if Junhoe was on the other side, but there was no one to be found; only an empty space with ruffled sheets.

“June?” Jinhwan asked in a hoarse voice. It was only then when he felt faint a pain in his throat, and he took a while to figure out why it hurt so badly.

Then he remembered the events of the night before.

Jinhwan whined as the blood rushed to his face, the scenes of yesterday flooding into his mind so quickly it felt like a headache could break out. Jinhwan waded in the pool of embarrassment he made for himself, his own whiny tone and pleading words making him cringe internally.

 _’I was so desperate…’_ Jinhwan thought to himself, and it was not like he was wrong. He was really desperate. He was desperate to make sure Junhoe would be his as much as he was Junhoe’s. He was desperate to hold him closer and closer, to be pliant as long as Junhoe would have him and not slip away.

Jinhwan thought he would wake up in Junhoe’s embrace, but he didn’t. He woke up warm because of the blankets instead. Jinhwan didn’t know what the time was, and somehow it didn’t cross his mind to check his phone that laid idly on the nightstand.

Admittedly, he just wanted Junhoe to be there with him.

Jinhwan didn’t bother to call out in his ruined voice again, so he moved to sit up. A pain immediately struck his lower back and he gasped, groaning loudly as he dropped back down onto the mattress. _’The soreness…’_

Suddenly, a muffled clank was heard from somewhere in the distance, then a door opened and Junhoe appeared with worried eyes, his body topless while the bottom half was clad in joggers, swiftly making his way to where Jinhwan was on the bed.

“Jinhwan-hyung? Is everything alright?” Junhoe asked and moved to hover over Jinhwan, inspecting the elder a little before he gently carded his fingers through Jinhwan’s fluffy locks. He was clearly concerned, but he still tried to smile.

Jinhwan looked up at Junhoe and immediately melted under Junhoe’s touch. Warmth filled his chest and he couldn’t keep the little smile that stretched across his own lips.

Junhoe was there—with him.

“It’s just the soreness… I wasn’t expecting the pain, that’s all,” Jinhwan willed to say in his hoarse voice, letting his eyelids fall shut to enjoy the gentle scalp massage Junhoe gave him, the ones that he always loved.

“Ah, your voice… Let me get you some water,” Junhoe said. Jinhwan whined at the loss of warmth and contact but Junhoe came back soon after with a glass of warm water. He helped Jinhwan sit up, and while the elder flinched slightly, he managed to sit with Junhoe supporting his back.

He drank the water slowly and let it soothe his throat before he snuggled up to Junhoe’s chest.

“Where were you, by the way? You aren’t usually a morning person… unless it’s work?” Jinhwan asked, half of his face squished against Junhoe’s shirt.

Junhoe chuckled, cradling his little hyung in his arms.

“For starters, it’s already 10AM so I don’t think the “morning person” title is valid anymore here,” Junhoe grinned when Jinhwan widened his eyes at him. “And, I was in the bathroom. I cuddled you and waited for you to wake up but then my bladder was begging for mercy so…”

Jinhwan smiled at that.

“Yeah, okay,” Jinhwan muttered before he shifted to lie down again. He patted the fluffy pillow next to his. “Can I still have my morning-in-bed cuddles?”

“Definitely!” Junhoe chirruped, a nose-scrunching grin on his face. He pushed the covers down and slipped in, quickly pulling the smaller male against him. Then, he tugged the covers over the both of them, covering their whole bodies while their limbs entangled beneath.

Jinhwan belatedly realized he was naked. The warm hand on his bare hip helped that, as well as the brush of cloth against his thighs and how their bare chests met. He blushed, but Junhoe didn't seem bothered by it as he pulled Jinhwan in closer.

Tilting his head up to smile at Junhoe, the younger suddenly surged in for a peck on the lips. “So, besides the soreness, how are you feeling?”

Jinhwan pouted at the kiss that was cute but too short for his liking. He pressed a few kisses along Junhoe’s jaw and chin, landing one on Junhoe’s lips which made Junhoe hum appreciatively against him.

“I’m good… Great, actually. I feel happy,” Jinhwan said and glanced at Junhoe, catching the fondest smile on his face.

Junhoe cupped Jinhwan’s nape and pulled the man in for a deeper kiss; one that said that he felt the same way. Jinhwan was quick to cradle Junhoe’s face in his hands, head tilting to kiss deeper. The hand on Jinhwan’s nape carefully slid down his back, slowly pulling Jinhwan as close as he could be; then something bumped into Junhoe’s thigh.

Jinhwan could feel the stretch of Junhoe’s grin before the younger pulled away. “Looks like _someone else_ is happy as well,” Junhoe cooed teasingly, eyebrows doing their own teasing dance.

Jinhwan would have scolded the younger out of embarrassment if he didn’t have his teeth between his lips as Junhoe’s warm hand stroked him. “S-so soon?”

“Don’t worry, hyung. You’ve always trusted me in taking care of you, and there’s a reason for that, yeah?” Junhoe said tenderly before he placed another kiss on Jinhwan’s lips. Those lips began to trail down Jinhwan’s stomach, Junhoe’s head slowly disappearing under the covers.

“Mnn, because I love you?” Jinhwan threaded his hand through Junhoe’s hair and bit his lip.

“Mhm.”

The way Junhoe kissed his hip as his own way of reciprocating Jinhwan’s words and feeling of Junhoe’s lips around him may have made his embarrassment and insecurities fade away, only left with love and bliss.

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“Where is Kim Jinhwan?”

“He’s in capable hands, Yang-nim. Trustworthy and capable,” Seungyoon stated with his hands folded in front of him, his expression serious but forever having a gentle touch.

“ _Who?_ ”

The words came as cold as frostbite, but unlike Minho, Seungyoon didn’t flinch. It was only the two of them in the office at that time. Jinwoo had been given an alibi as he had nothing to do with the whole exchange, so the eldest of the three was back at the dorms, probably looking after Bobby from the distance.

Hanbin would not let anyone other than Jinhwan and the managers take care of him directly. Any bodyguard who wasn’t Junhoe would be shooed off immediately.

Seungyoon clenched his jaw, knowing that lying would be pointless. He had his job on stake as well, but that was at the back of his mind when he knew what happened was what Jinhwan needed. He didn’t feel much guilt, but maybe that was because he wasn’t as involved as Minho was. That could be why the other male was a little more antsy than him.

“His former bodyguard, Koo Junhoe.”

The smirk that appeared on the CEO’s face soon after was nothing but blood-curdling.

“Minho-ssi, when do you suppose he will be back? And how sure are you that he will be back?” The man asked, not amused as he adjusted the hat on his head.

“He will, sir. He said he will bring Kim Jinhwan back-”

_I’ll send him back first thing in the morning._

But it was far past the time promised.

“-today. He will.” Minho said, not letting his voice falter in the slightest. He hoped that Junhoe would hold onto his word but unfortunately it didn’t happen that way. Seungyoon told him not to worry. He tried not to, but he was secretly hoping that Junhoe would turn up with Jinhwan immediately.

He didn’t want Seungyoon and him to lose their second chance by giving someone else a chance of their own. Call him selfish, but he had a love to protect as well.

“How specific,” came the CEO’s sarcastic tone, but his smirk was already gone. “If I knew better I’d think that they would just run away, don’t you-“

The CEO’s words were interrupted by a knock on the door. Mr Yang pursed his lips and glared at Minho before he directed his glare to the door instead.

“Yes?”

“Pardon my interruption, Yang-nim, but I’ve come to inform you that Kim Jinhwan has returned to the dorms.”

Mr Yang closed his eyes and sighed, and whether it was out of disappointment or relief or whatever else on earth he could possibly feel, no one could tell. The first possibility seemed more fitting for the moment, however.

“Hm.”

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Jinhwan and Junhoe walked into the dormitory building. Once they were out of public's view, Jinhwan reached out for Junhoe’s hand. Junhoe lifted a brow at him but he let his hand be held, his own fingers curling in to secure Jinhwan’s smaller hand in his.

“Will you ever be able to come back?” Jinhwan asked, but he felt like he knew the answer and that feeling pulled on his heartstrings, making the beating in his chest hurt.

The frustrated huff that escaped Junhoe’s lips confirmed Jinhwan’s thoughts. “No…”

“… I can at least go visit you again, then,” Jinhwan said and shrugged, continuing to walk but he could feel Junhoe turn rigid beside him.

“I doubt the CEO will be alright with that. The moment he finds out that you’re gone and out visiting me, he’ll go crazy. I don’t-… I don’t think you can visit me anymore,” Junhoe said and sighed, but the sudden hard clutch on his hand brought his attention back to Jinhwan. The older had stopped in his tracks with his head hung low.

“But how about us? Ah, how about me? June-yah you know I can’t-“

“Yes you can and you have to, Jinhwan. We-“ Junhoe’s voice raised a little, so he took a deep breath and sighed deeply, gaze tossed aside. “-we’re a lost cause… no matter how much we feel for each other. That's just how working in this industry is.”

Jinhwan’s head snapped up and he glared at Junhoe through glossy eyes. “Why do you sound like you’ve given up? Actually, why do you always sound like you don’t even want to try? Do you really think it’s not worth it? Have you always thought we were a lost cause, and that’s why you fucking left?” Jinhwan spat out his disappointment as he tugged his hand out of Junhoe’s hold. He yanked onto the front of Junhoe’s shirt so that the younger would look at him.

“Do you not get how much I need you? Do you not get how fucking depressed everyone is without you? Bobby’s back from the hospital but he hasn’t smiled genuinely even once. Hanbin’s just out of his mind working his ass off. Chanwoo told me that Yunhyeong keeps on blaming himself for you getting fired.”

“June… You came like a breath of fresh air… for all of us. Then the incident happened and you left and everything’s just… gone. It’s so hard to breathe now,” Jinhwan’s voice slowly became weaker and by the end of it, he slumped against Junhoe and started to sob. Junhoe wrapped his arms around his trembling hyung and slowly stroked his head.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you… or the guys. I want to be with you again. I want to see everyone again,” Junhoe muttered, sounding distant. “But you know this can’t happen no matter what I choose. I don’t want to jeopardize your career any further, and I doubt that the CEO would be anywhere close to forgiving once he finds out-“

“-that one of my idols and a bodyguard I fired are deeply in love with one another?”

Both Junhoe and Jinhwan startled and froze at the sudden voice that came from the stairwell behind them. When they turned, the face of Mr Yang emerged with two bodyguards behind him, both looking concerned for the couple they walked in on.

Junhoe’s surprised expression quickly morphed into a serious one, eyebrows drawn low and gaze unwavering. His protective hold on Jinhwan broke when the other pulled away to stand straight, red and puffy face easily seen by his employer.

Jinhwan immediately took a bow and rushed to speak. “Sajangnim, I-“

“Hush, I heard enough,” the elderly man said looking like anything but amused, eyes alternating between the two men standing in front of him.

Jinhwan shook a little at those words, but he couldn’t let it go. Not this time. If there was one thing he would fight for in this life besides his band of brothers, it would be for himself.

“No, please listen, Yang-sajangnim. Whatever that happened was clearly a mistake, but we won’t learn anything if mistakes don’t happen,” Jinhwan started, unsure if he was saying the right things but the adrenaline pumped confidence into his blood.

Mr Yang who already turned to walk out halted and turned back, eyebrows lifting in interest. Junhoe himself turned to Jinhwan with awe in his eyes, and the determined look Jinhwan sported nudged something akin to pride in him.

“What we need now is a chance. A chance so we can show that we can be better, that we learned. Please, sajangnim. Please give us that chance,” Jinhwan and bowed in pleading. When he straightened up again, heart pounding wildly in his chest, Junhoe’s hand made its way to his shoulder; his show of support by being his anchor before Jinhwan's emotions could burst.

“I ask for this as well, with a promise that I will do better than before. I'll work harder. I'll keep myself in check. Please, give us- give _me_ one more chance,” Junhoe added and did his own pleading bow.

Another look at the CEO’s face and nothing could be read. There was a prolonged silence after that, the bodyguards Seungyoon and Minho both sympathizing over the discomfort Jinhwan and Junhoe were probably feeling. Finally, the CEO who had been staring intently at his idol shifted his steady gaze to Junhoe.

“Koo Junhoe-ssi, you are restricted from being in the dormitory as you are not a staff. Since it seems like we have some unfinished business now, I expect to see you in my office immediately after this,” Mr Yang said and sighed. He turned to the two who stayed silent while the whole scenario had played out. “You two are dismissed.”

Mr Yang left the building and the remaining four were enveloped in another period of silence. The silence was long and tense before Junhoe spoke up.

“I’m sorry for being late, Mino-hyung…”

Minho looked up at Junhoe and smirked a little, a smile failing to form. “It’s okay. He’s here now so it’s fine. And… I’m sorry you two.”

Jinhwan choked a sob and lowered his head again but Junhoe was quick to pull him into an embrace.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry, Jinani,” he whispered softly into Jinhwan hair and pressed soft kisses on it.

“It’s okay… At least w-we both tried, right?” Jinhwan wrapped his arms around Junhoe and hugged him tight. His hands ball up into the cloth of Junhoe’s shirt, clutching so hard because he refused to have Junhoe leave.

“Junhoe-yah, I'm sorry, but I think it’s best if you go now. Sajangnim is waiting… My promise to you still stands, so I hope that lifts a little burden for you at least,” Seungyoon said, because he knew as much as they held onto each other, they would still have to part.

It was true.

Junhoe gave Seungyoon a sad smile and nodded.

“Goodbye, Jinani… I love you. I really do,” Junhoe said and lifted Jinhwan’s chin up. Jinhwan had his dampened eyes closed but there were no fresh tears. Junhoe smiled and pressed a long parting kiss onto Jinhwan’s moist lips.

When he pulled away, only a hair’s breadth away from Jinhwan, he felt Jinhwan's warm whisper.

“You’ll always be my shield, and I’ll be your rose. We’ll make it.”

When their gazes connected, Junhoe's full of wonder and Jinhwan's full on determined, he knew that a new promise was made.

"We'll make it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters on this fic are a lot shorter than what I'm used to now... Welp, perhaps improvement happens.  
> Also ey new year looks like I can't write much anymore since classes are starting again soon ;w;


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